My Wolf Pack

     I don't know how many of you have actually watched the movie Crazy, Stupid, Love but if you haven't I highly recommend it.  Especially for guys.  In all (and to most women--appalling) honesty I have never been a real Ryan Gosling fan (no, not even after the Notebook) until that movie.  Maybe it is because in this day and age I believe that every guy (and girl) needs a friend(s) like Gosling's character, Jacob, to have them when the chips are down--be honest with them and bring them back into reality.
     I know that I would be lost without my girls.  They are trustworthy, genuinely wonderful, supportive and honest.  They are great sound boards when I need feed back and will support me unfailingly.  I love that when I forget to see the big picture (because I am so bogged down with the nonsense that inevitably will and does happen in life) they help to keep me on track.  They are my wolf pack. (Aren't you just loving all of my movie references?) And on occasions where we get to go out and "howl" at the moon together it is always so much fun and memorable (no drugged marshmallows or lost nights in Vegas--yet).  They are always willing to help even when they aren't asked.  If they see or know that you need a "pick-me-up" they are going to do it and without hesitation.
     They offer shoulders to cry on; threats of bodily harm to the "wrong doer(s)"; an endless supply of sweets when necessary; and even a practically endless supply of laughs as is apropos and effective enough to lift the saddest of hearts.  I would be remiss if I didn't pay homage to the women who walk boldly by my side in this adventure called life; if I didn't thank them for always being so incredibly amazing every moment of every day because that is just who and how they are.  Thank you, my Great and Wonderful Wolf Pack of amazing Sirens.  From the very depths of my heart--thank you--for you help me more than words will ever be able to convey.
     Well, I think this is more than enough mushiness from me for one day! 


Until another time I wish you all Love and Happiness of the truest kind.
          ~Marissa     

Wake Up

     I have been feeling like Laurence Fishburn's character, Dap, at the end of School Daze running out onto the yard, screaming "WAKE UP!".  The overwhelming amalgamation of frustration, hope, fear, desperation and promise that filled those two words are the same emotions that fill my heart--as it silently echoes his cry.  At times this cry for awakening is solely for myself.  Although, within this moment this call is for everyone.
     We, as human beings, forget that our strength is mutable.  And being consumed with our (momentary) strength or (presumed) power we believe we possess--we forget about the inescapable, inevitable, existence of our beautiful fragility.  In being forgetful we not only over look our own, but the fragility of those around us as well.  Such an oversight is not only a great disservice, but can become truly detrimental to those around us that we hold most dear.
     In a world that encourages us to always present a stalwart facade and neglect the delicacies of our humanity we have become hard.  The disregard of the emotional welfare of those around us--closest to us--has become as second nature and socially acceptable as breathing.  The unfortunate truth is that we are all guilty of being both perpetrator and victim in this endless and disconsolate cycle of negligence.  And until we become more aware and understanding of our "softer" Selves then we will continue to slowly (or quickly) destroy not only ourselves, but our relationships with those we love as well.
     Our world can be very harsh and filled with trials and tribulations hence why we should never add to it.  We should seek to enhance it.  The people that we bring into our lives should never (whether directly or indirectly) forget that we have CHOSEN for them to be a part of our lives and that is a gift.  Simultaneously this gift should not be used as a justification or surety to neglect the fragility of those we love because everyone has a breaking point; and it is very difficult to piece together the pieces of trust, love, and fidelity that is chipped away when they are neglected or misused.  Nor should we consider ourselves or others as weak or incapable because we/they are fragile.  We should all endeavor to appreciate and protect the gentility of ourselves and others.  Doing so will further enable us to continue to build our relationships instead of deteriorating their foundations.
     Remember that fragility is a gift, it allows us to empathize in order to properly comfort and support others; to sympathize when we forget how to.  When truly embraced fragility can be a source of strength and not weakness.  We need to reawaken ourselves--rejuvenate our hearts--refresh our souls and remember that we shouldn't demonize a sensitive or sweet spirit.  Let us embrace them and the goodness they bring to our lives and the world.  Remember that as humans we are doomed to err, and if someone tells you that you have been hurtful, negative, or unkind to them be responsible.  Don't just apologize, but continuously endeavor to be more mindful of your words and actions because you are obviously important enough for what you do and say to have an affect on them.  Let us, every day try to be more mindful, caring, and open individuals so that we are a blessing to those we love and the world we inhabit.
     Until another time Lovelies, I wish you all Love and Happiness of the truest kind.


         ~Marissa           
     

The Closing of Year 25

Hellooooooo!!!!! Hi everyone!!!

Long time, I know! But honestly I haven't had much to share, nor did I feel ready to share my feelings. Sometimes we have to take time for self. But I'm back!!!! And ready to spill my guts!!!

So Year 25 is coming to into the 4th quarter! I'm quickly approaching 26, and I feel wonderful! I feel brave, fearless, strong, loved, cherished, and most importantly wise... LOL well wiser! I have weathered the storms! Cried my heart out! Loved with all of my might! Chose to love myself first! Did things I never thought I could. Walked away from lover and friends! I have grown closer with some and farther away from others. I've seen the crazy that I can be, and also experienced the serenity of being ones true self. I have had lovers (well suitors)... LOL! And put a stop to manly foolishness in my life! But boy what a year!

Through all the many adventures I've had in my 25th year of my life, I have found a few things to be true...

1) Baby LOVE YOURSELF! Things and people will never be right or enough until you learn to be happy with just YOU. You will put up with people and situations that you do not deserve because you are too afraid to be alone. Trust yourself and your God. No one can live your life for you, nor should they. You are born alone and will die alone, why not get know the only person who love you the way God will love you, You!

2) Things are going to happen the way they are meant to. Don't get me wrong, we play a huge part in shaping our lives, but sometimes things are going to happen, so go with it. It's out of our control. And more often than not, the things we try so hard to hold on to are the very things that hurt us and stunt our growth. So please, if you have done all that you can, let it be. You'll be surprised how something better has come along after you let go!

3) Seriously... why so serious! Dude!!! Life is not that serious. Your problems are never so serious that you cannot find one thing a day to smile about. I've gotten to the point that I don't talk on the phone very long with people who seem to do nothing but complain, it's just not attractive. It's ok to vent and get it out, but gees honey, can we talk about pretty shoes now? LOL! I had to learn this myself. When things are bad in my life, I'll focus on the good, on the blessings. There is always someone out there who has it worse than you, so stop complaining, try to fix your problem, and be thankful! Smile beautiful!

Big lessons to learn in 3/4 of a year, but well worth it! I hope that everyone out there still in this Quarter-life Crisis with me is surviving and growing as well! We can make it, and will make it through! Live your life the best way you know. Try to find your happiness, and don't stop until you catch it. We are the future, no longer children, on the cusp of adulthood! Let's make our story on hell of a tale!

Until next time, don't forget to Smile Beautiful!

Finess ♡♥♡

Opening and Closing Doors

     Relationships--there are so many different types--no human on this earth has ever existed without having a relationship of some kind.  Connection--love--we all crave it, need it in our lives.  We strive to achieve and maintain healthy, successful relationships.  And truth be told that is a separate job in and of itself, even though it is truly worth it.  But, when relationships start to head south (as some inevitably will)--hit brick walls--or seem to stagnate no matter what you do, say or try, and you are frustrated and hurting because things just aren't working no matter how much love or time you pour into it, what do you do?
     First--Please take time to quiet your mind so you can hear your heart.  REFLECT--evaluate and give yourself a chance to breathe and think things through.  Making decisions or even just thinking about a difficult situation or decision out of a place of hurt, anger, or confusion isn't good for you or fair for your partner.
     Secondly--After your period of reflection, make sure that you realize the part you played in causing the decline of your relationship.  AKA:  Take RESPONSIBILITY!  A relationship takes 2 people, right?  So the responsibility of the health of the relationship lies with not just one party, but both!  Hopefully in your moment of reflection you would have completely assessed not just the errors of your partner, but the your own as well.  If you have then you should be able to accept your own actions (or inaction) that contributed to the situation.  Taking responsibility is just as important as reflecting and evaluating the situation with a clear heart and mind. 
     Thirdly--After you have reflected and taken responsibility then it is time to COMMUNICATE!  After you have clarity, take time to speak with your partner.  Let them know how you feel and where your heart and mind are.  Be as honest and clear as possible.  Do not do them nor yourself the dishonor of lying (not even lying by omission) or hiding the truth.  Be respectful and listen as well as speak your peace.  If your partner is not open or supportive then they have essentially made their decision.
     Lastly--When you take time to not only learn and understand what has caused the decline of a relationship, but to also take responsibility and the time to communicate with your partner then you are in a place to make a DECISION.  You have to decide whether or not this relationship has hope, if your partner is truly open to working on this with you (and not just verbally saying they are, but actually putting in the work, people) OR if it is time for you to end it and go your separate ways.  Unfortunately, love is not enough and one person can not put in all the time, work and energy.  Sometimes it is very hard, especially when you are in love with your partner, to walk away, but if your happiness and well being isn't important to them--it has to be important enough to you for you to protect it; since they have decided not to.
     Essentially what we need to remember is that we are responsible for the success or demise of our relationships.  We are the ones who open and close these doors.  If you are negligent, cavalier, uncaring, lazy, thoughtless, cruel, unromantic, etc. then I hope you realize that you have OPENED the door in your relationship for your partner to walk out or someone else to walk in!  If you want your partner in your life and a successful relationship--it takes work!  If you aren't willing to put in the work (as I have stated before) step aside for someone who will.  You can't completely blame your partner for being unsatisfied, unhappy or even tempted by someone else when you are not meeting nor fulfilling their needs.  I think a lot of times we forget that we are not in relationships for ourselves.  We are in relationships with people because of them--for them--you should want to be with someone because you wish to build a life and a future with them.  You should be with someone because you wish to love, protect, care for them and make them happy. 
     Relationships test your character, heart and very soul.  If you are selfish, egotistical, or even insecure, oblivious, condescending or untrustworthy, etc. then it isn't possible for you to have a healthy relationship.  If you aren't happy with yourself, or too consumed with self in anyway there is no way you can be giving with your partner.  And relationships are all about GIVING to someone else!  Love is worth the risk and the work for me, but not everyone truly--to their core--will feel this way.  And if you are one of those individuals who continuously takes and hurts and expects your partner to sit around waiting for you to wise up!  That isn't fair (it is SELFISH, just in case you didn't know) and it is cruel.
     I know how hard it is to walk away when you are in love with someone, but sometimes that is what that person is betting on--your love for them--taking advantage of your love and consideration.  I would be lying if I didn't say that it hurts!  From experience I will confess that it can physically hurt to leave the one who you have given your heart to, but it sometimes is necessary.  Sometimes we must close a door so that we will be given a key to open a better one.  Contrary wise I also know what it is like to not be completely giving in a relationship as well.  Of course it was unintentional and in retrospect I had to apologize and pray to God to forgive me for my negligence to others and the subsequent pain that I caused.  But, what I learned from the negligence and ignorance of my youth taught me to balance.  I learned to reflect and take responsibility--learn from my mistakes and the mistakes of those who I loved.  I got to know myself and decide not only who and how I wanted to be in a relationship, but what I would and wouldn't accept from my partner as well.
     Life and especially Love are constant learning experiences.  They grant us the opportunity to get to know ourselves--become better people.  I can't regret any of the relationships of my past.  First, because the past can not be undone and lastly because I wouldn't be who I am without that past.  I have loved and lost and my heart has been broken repeatedly.  But, I hope and believe that the majority of us will eventually learn (some more quickly than others).  And the hope of a healthy, beautiful love isn't unrealistic.  We just have to break our negative cycles and mindsets--learn to love ourselves so that we may be able to love others.  Learning the difference and being strong enough to protect your heart and happiness when someone you love doesn't is the most difficult lesson in this life.  But, it is possible to learn it and not only survive, but thrive as well.  
     I am sorry for the length of this post, my lovelies, but I really felt as though this needed to be said.  I hope that this post, despite its length may help at least one person achieve a happy, healthy relationship.  Until another time, I wish you all Love and Happiness of the truest kind.
     ~Marissa



 

A Good Man

     There was a time--an age--an era not so very long ago where the merit of a Good Man was considered as great as that of a Hero.  In many ways a Good Man was a Hero.  His integrity, kindness, selflessness, thoughtfulness, dependability was prized and rewarded.  Touted as a man who could be trusted without hesitation or doubt.  Someone you could and would go an extra mile for because he was not only worth it--but his very nature warranted it.
     These men were the cornerstones of good families, businesses--the very community and government.  When little boys were young they used to admire these men--they would dream of growing up to be good men.  Men who would be honest and reliable businessmen and responsible, positive citizens.  They desired a good education and career--they wanted to build families and be the kind of men that inspired others--inspired others to want to be both around and like them.  They were inspired and in turn were inspiring as well as men of contribution and good repute--they helped to build and maintain a good community.  For these kinds of men achieving the status of a "Good Man"  was a great one.  It brought pride to not only them, but to those who knew and loved them.
     Unfortunately this no longer seems to be the case.  Men who are good or even desire to achieve genuine goodness are now ridiculed and overlooked.  Being a good man is no longer an accomplishment that is sought after--it is seemingly considered not worthwhile.  The sad truth of it is guys are more concerned with what they have or can get or can get over on someone than in who they are or what they can contribute.  Infidelity, dishonesty, unreliability, irresponsibility, disrespect--these are attributes that are touted and perpetuated by society and even women.
     Ironically we complain about needing a change in our communities, local and national and yet we don't help good men succeed!  I know quite a few good men and sometimes what they are put through by external and even internal parties is appalling.  A good man, a good person, can not remain "good" if they are not supported or assisted or if they are constantly pulled down into the muck and mire.  We, as human beings, are fragile creatures.  We can survive and endure a lot, but when the limit is reached--then it is reached.  We can not expect great things from mediocre men and we can not expect good men to succeed when we do not support, protect and appreciate them either.
     Life is about balance and things are more or less out of whack, but we are the ones who disrupted that balance and so we are the only ones who can fix it.  For all of the good men out there, please don't lose yourself--stay strong--and surround yourself with genuine people who will help you become a better you and maintain your goodness.  Women--if you find a good man and you aren't ready for him OR he really isn't what you want then let him know *kindly* do not use him or break his heart.  And if you find a good man and you desire to retain what he offers then help protect and support his goodness.
     A good man is hard to find, but he doesn't have to be.  Just a little observation on my end.  I wish you all Love and Happiness of the truest kind!
          ~Marissa

Confidence is KEY!

     Okay Lads and Lassies I don't know whether you know it or not (or maybe you might have forgotten) but the key to achieving most things in life is CONFIDENCE!  I am not joking at all here, so take note.  Confidence is key.  Now I am not talking about Ego--no--that is a truly sad attribute and makes someone look immature and fake.  I am talking about genuine, healthy, confidence.  Although you may consider this a lot of unwarranted emphasis on something that may seem unnecessary (to those who don't know) I can guarantee you that this is not the case at all.  I believe that we spend a lot of time focusing on love, honesty and perseverance, but what are any of these attributes without confidence?  Would Romeo have pursued Juliet without confidence?  Would honest Abe been honest without confidence?  Would Martin Luther King, Jr have persevered without confidence?  No--I don't think so--and if you are honest with your self (especially after I have posed these questions) I am sure you don't think so either.
     The generation of confidence is a curious thing.  Nine times out of ten confidence is an attribute cultivated over time, although for some lucky people it is natural.  I will admit that I have more "affection" for those who have had to come through a lot--heal--and get to know themselves well enough to build that confidence.  Because it comes from being quite hard won I believe it is stronger, than "natural" confidence.  But, don't misunderstand me, healthy confidence no matter from where it originates is a beautiful and necessary thing in this life.  You see either way, confidence is like the spinal cord for all other positive attributes that make up our internal structure.  It is necessary for us to fulfill our roles as people.  With confidence not only do doors in our (external) lives open, but doors within ourselves open as well.  And that is truly priceless.
      One can exude confidence in various ways; it is in the way you carry yourself, your demeanor, your walk and how you speak to others.  And whether or not you realize it people can tell when you do and don't have confidence in yourself.  That realization will have an affect on how others perceive and react to you. You see confidence is what allows you to own who you are; face the world bravely and undaunted.  It gives you the ability to venture forth with surety and an unfailing knowledge of self to the  point where nothing can (nor will) deter you.  Confidence, even when it comes to the opposite sex, opens more doors than not because whether you realize it or not it is tremendously appealing!  (Quite honestly few things are more attractive than someone who is confident and sure of themselves--who they are.)   
    When I was younger I didn't understand why confidence is so important.  But the longer I live and the more I experience I have found that having confidence is an important part of having a healthy internal balance--an important part of self love.  It is something that will help propel us--drive us--to achieve our goals; to be the people we deeply desire to be.  I believe it to be truly necessary (just so long as it is healthy and doesn't mutate into an ego) for us to prosper in our lives.  When people have confidence it draws others to them like moths to a flame.  It adds to the internal light that burns within, magnifying its brilliance into an undeniable and incandescent entity. 
     Being someone who had to work very hard to build my own confidence--I consider it, although difficult, a truly great, personal achievement.  My sojourn through my internal dark forests and brier patches was well worth the outcome.  I found my voice and the strength to unapologetically be who I am!  without confidence I wouldn't be able to love myself nor all of my imperfections and quirkiness.  Confidence, healthy confidence, is something to be proud of.  It is a powerful and beneficial attribute that everyone should cultivate.  Sometimes it isn't easy to acquire, but I encourage everyone (who is having difficulties building theirs) to make that personal, internal, journey for the benefits are well worth the difficulties.  That is all the food for thought I have for tonight, Lovelies!  Until another time I wish you all Love and Happiness of the truest kind!
          ~Marissa     

Loving This Body

     Living in a society that prizes long hair, thin bodies, straight (perfectly bleached) teeth and the will power to say 'yes' to salads and 'no' to cupcakes--I sometimes feel rather out of place.  I am not a size 2 (anymore) and quite honestly I don't want to be again.  My desire to lose some lbs and have a healthier lifestyle is about being healthy NOT conforming to society's idea of "beauty".  The fact of the matter is I only get one body and I am determined to take care of it ( by breaking bad habits and learning better ones).  Even though I am shedding lbs, being more responsible with my diet and "wal-gging" (walk+jog=walgging (an adorable friend gave me the term and I like it)) fun 5k's (or through the woods just for the heck of it) doesn't mean that I don't love my body.  I am trying to take care of my body and that should prove that I love it enough to want to reside in it for a long time to come.
     I mean even though I may complain or joke about my breasts being big every now and again they are still mine and I am blessed that they are healthy and natural.  They are hard to restrain in swim suits but look yummy (if I do say so myself) in (most) dresses.  I have round thighs and hips that move beautifully (on and off the dance floor) with only a simple thought.  And I like my "apple" (as my mom calls it) butt because it is the right size for my body and looks super cute in practically everything I put it in!  My tummy is a tad rounder than I like (that is changing as I change my lifestyle of course), but I love the softness of it (personally I want to be fit not ripped).  And my skin--oh I love the silkiness of my skin.  I will full out admit that I am a little obsessed with my skin and keeping it soft and supple.
     I have come to accept, appreciate and love my straight, pointy, nose (that curves down a little at the tip when I smile) and almond shaped eyes (that virtually disappear when I laugh or smile too hard).  I genuinely believe I have a pretty mouth and even though my teeth aren't perfectly straight or white (I am a tea/coffee drinker) I like my smile because it comes from my heart and I think it is inviting for it is sincere.  I adore the hidden dimples near my chin that make special appearances when I smile or make certain faces.  I have even come to love quite dearly the freckles that decorate my body (it took awhile, but I honestly do) and the unexpected places where new ones pop up!
     Being a member of "Team Natural" for a couple of years now I have grown to love the thick, crazy, inconsistent curl patterns of my hair.  Even though fighting with it can be seriously frustrating--I do enjoy it very much.  I even think my "short" fingers and "sausage" toes (as others have called them) are rather cute.  The long and short of it is--after a long (and at one point very unhealthy) journey with body image and expectations of others in regards to mine--I have come to love this vessel--my vessel--this wonderful gift from God to me.  Even though it was genetically designed by my heritage it was organized by His two hands and that makes me (as well as everyone else) a true divine creation.
     My body isn't perfect mind you.  I have cellulite, stretch marks, fillings and scars (what can I say I am a klutz).  I am a little too hairy for a girl (you do not want to see my legs after not shaving for a week (thanks to my dad's genetics)); I have funky toe nails on my little toes (they just grow in a different shape y'all they aren't stinky or green); and I run so cold that my feet almost always feel like I am dead (at least according to Hunny whenever I stuff them under him to warm them up); I stand at 5'4 and to top it off Rugrat and Booger (aka: my, way, younger brothers) are both taller than me (so are my parents)!   Like I said it isn't perfect and it doesn't fit societies "norm", but I don't want to!  I will embrace this gift and cherish it.  and even though it doesn't make me who I am it is a part of me and worthy of genuine love and appreciation.  I will take pride in my vessel and how I care for it.  I will celebrate and love my body--this body--and do my best by it.

     I encourage all of you--my Lovelies--to love (or in some cases learn to love) your bodies with all of its perfections and imperfections.  It is your vessel, your home and we are only given one.  Remember that beauty is in the eye of the beholder.  It isn't always common or conventional nor is it relegated to a specific race or age group either.  You decide what beauty is for yourself--set your own standard!  Until another time I wish you all Love and Happiness of the truest kind!
          ~Marissa
    

Admist the Quiet

     I have always fancied myself a night owl.  And not only because I am (most certainly) not a morning person.  I have always found the quiet of the night to be comforting, alluring--peaceful.  Even the beauty of the moon in its various progressions--brilliant stars (twice as vibrant this time of the year) and the sound of virtually nothing is a fascinating delight that never loses its magic for me.  Maybe it is because I live (and most certainly work) in a very noisy world that I sometimes forget the joy and absolute beauty of the silence that seems to only be found in the night.
     It is the time of the day that holds the most magic because everything seems so much clearer without the noise of the more wakeful hours.  It is a time for reflection, meditation, thankfulness, prayers and dreams.  It is during these hours that I breathe easier and feel more "present" than any other.  It amazes me that something as simple as quiet--taking time to sit and enjoy the peace of it--can make such a difference in my state of being.  I have said it many times and I am sure I am not the only one who gets caught up in the "business" of my everyday life that at times I forget about what I find during these hours.  But in those moments that I happen to find sleep absent from my grasp--it strikes me--and before I know it, a practically instantaneous comfort fills me.      
     I am sure you can imagine what an interesting child I was for I didn't fear the night or even the "witching hours", as my family used to call it.  I welcomed it and I still do.  For when it comes--with the gift of (subsequent) quiet it brings with it--I can remember what my day has pushed back from the forefront of my mind.  Ah--sweet clarity--what joy!  And tonight--tonight I have reflected upon the many blessings I have been given and the people who make my life so very special.  My heart is filled with memories and hopes for Hunny and me; thankfulness for Chickateeta and Maman; memories of the Rugrat and Booger and all the fun I have with my friends--the things they have all taught me--and how they have helped me become the woman I am.  I am grateful to God for the gift of these magnificent individuals in my life.  And being able to reflect upon my journey with them reminds me that blessings come in many packages and can be quite simple sometimes too. 
     As you can tell these moments of quiet provide me with the opportunity to renew my eternal balance--in a way--with only a little of my "sleep" time sacrificed.  I encourage you all to find your own quiet time and see what happens!  Who knows what kind of clarity you may find.  As it is, Sleep has finally chosen to show me some favor and my bed is calling me to snuggle down deep into a warm comforter and fluffy pillows.  So, I believe that this will be enough sharing from me for one night.  Until another time I wish you all Love and Happiness of the truest kind!
          ~Marissa     
    

In My Garden

     Hello Lovelies!  I know I have been gone for awhile, but I really needed to take a break and recollect myself.  I needed to remember how to tend to my garden.  Sometimes we get so caught up in life--the running, rushing and general rat race that we all run (to make a paycheck) that we forget to stop, breathe and take time to tend to the most important part of our lives--ourselves.  And truth be told I was so busy being so many things to so many people--spreading myself thin--so much so there was nothing left for me and I was feeling the strain of it all in an unimaginable way.
     With my very being feeling tired and overwhelmed my mind wouldn't quiet--and a feeling of being lost within myself eclipsed everything else.  And I can't begin to explain exactly how the combination of all of this was reeking havoc on me.  One emotion or state of being led way to another and yet another; becoming catalysts unto themselves and creating a seemingly endless cycle--they fed off of each other and I was in great need of getting out my gloves and pulling the weeds that had taken root in my life.  Right now I am still in the process of trying to organize, detox and give myself some much needed love-- unfortunately, like with any garden, it is going to take time and work in order for me to get back to a hundred percent.
     And quite honestly there is no way I can do this by myself--and lucky for me I don't have to.  The out pouring of love and support from Hunny, Chickateeta, friends and co-workers has warmed my heart and reminded me why we shouldn't go through life alone.  I wish I didn't have these painfully human moments, but because of them I am reminded of my blessings; about the people who truly do love and support me; and that sometimes--when overwhelmed--it is OK for others to help you.  That is why we have those special people in our lives.  It is truly during these times (or during their own times of trepidation) that we discover exactly what kind of flowers these people are in our lives--whether they are Seasonal, Perennials or Annuals. During certain trials and tribulations we are able to see exactly what kind of qualities they will bring to our garden and subsequently what kind of longevity they will have as well.
     Maybe that is why times such as this are not only a curse, but a blessing as well.  They can call you back to yourself to cleanse, reevaluate, appreciate and learn.  Obviously I was long overdue and just like I procrastinate on updating my computer (until it does it by itself during the most inconvenient times) I also seemed to have done the same with myself.  I will have to put into practice carving out time for rejuvenation so that I can maintain a healthier Being more consistently than I have been lately.  Well, that is all I have for now.  I can't promise I will have more soon, but I will do my best.  Please learn from my mistake and don't forget to take time to tend your garden because when things become overgrown it is harder to work through your fields.
     Until another time I wish you all Love and Happiness of the truest kind!
          ~Marissa         

Awe To Breath Again

So this week I have reclaimed my life! I feel so alive and accomplished! I can breathe again and really feel again. It's like the stormy cloud of lost love, questioned friendships, and exhaustion of foolishness has finally lifted and I can see the sunny side of life! It feels amazing to get out of that funk I was in!

Sooo, you ask, what did I do this week that made it wonderful? I... did whatever the hell I wanted to! It's so simple, but super hard to do! I went with every whim I had. I didn't hold myself to a constructed schedule; I just woke up and lived! Man does it feel amazing! I stopped worrying about other people. I put myself first and just lived. I stopped trying to figure what was going on with them, stopped being so consumed with their problems; I lived my life and let the pieces fall where they choose to lay. It feels so wonderful; I think this is how I'm going to live my life for now on! No worries!

Ok so on one of my off days this week I found a really cool place to mediate. I know, mediate? But you would be surprised how relaxing it is to sit still and quiet your mind. There's power in a still mind, and I started cultivating mine! Upon entering the Georgia Meditation Center, you immediately get a sense of calm. I met some really nice people there, all very helpful. We had a guided mediation session by an actual Buddhist Monk! (Seriously super cool!) If you ever get a chance to check it out, I seriously recommend it! I feel so aware of myself, in touch with my spirit!

The second adventure I had this week, was a trip to my new hometown square. I moved up to Marietta over a year ago, and honestly have not been anywhere other Wal-Mart, Kroger, and Quick Trip! Sad I know! I was pleasantly surprised! It was gorgeous! It had such a wonderful old town charm to it. Between the fountain in the middle of the square, to the theater and various shops, it was totally worth the 15 minute trip up the road. I found the most delicious Peach Pecan Preserves and Australian meat pies... Yes... Australian meat pies!!!  It's like a savory, meaty, cheesy, flaky crust pie, all in little old Marietta, GA! I wandered in and out do the cutest, quaint shops, looking at homemade goodies and trinkets! And I found an entire section of Dr. Who! Dr. Who!!! My newest TV obsession! I was too thrilled. In all I would also recommend a nice quiet afternoon getting lost in Marietta's square!

It's been such an amazing week! I urge everyone to take back your life!!! Take a moment to breathe! Do exactly what you want, live how you want! Life is too short to be stressed; you miss out on all the fun worrying about everyone else! Live for yourself, because no one else can live for you! Live Live Live!!!

With a light and cheerful spirit,

Finess

A New Lease on Life

You know whats worst than having too little time for something? Having way too much time and nothing to do!

So here I am, twiddling my thumbs, just a little brain numb from catching up on EVERY show I've missed since the invention of cable. Ugh this is not how my life should look!  It doesn't feel right! I feel so lost in the sauce! Now that I have settled in my new position at work and have enjoyed my new found free schedule... I NEED TO FIND A LIFE!!!!

And that is exactly what I'm going to do! And I'm going to take you guys along with me! The more the merrier!  And hopefully I can encourage someone out there to start having adventures outside of the house too! :-)

So here is the list of all the things I find interesting, and each off day that I have, I will incorporate something off my list! If you have an suggestion on something I should try, please let me know!!!

My Interests
-FOOD: Cooking and Eating
-Meditation
-Boss (my dog)
-Walking
-Dancing
-Reading
-Arts and Crafts
- Shopping
-Traveling

So cheers to the many adventures that await me! And a second shot for the ones you'll have! Can't wait to share stories!
Until next time... FIND A LIFE!

Finess

You Come First

So lately I've been quite silent, and I truly apologize for that! Where some need to talk and vent or even have a drink or 5, I need space; time alone between myself and my creator. I resort to my safe haven when the sea of our world makes me a little seasick.

After counsel with Him and reflection,  I realized the root of my unhappiness. Guess what?  Like most problems, it started with me. I was allowing those who I cared for the most mistreat me. I was putting their best interest before mine, and not receiving the same in return. I'm not saying that being there for others and occasionally putting their needs before your is a bad thing, but there comes a time when that gift is misused and mistreated. More often than not, it's the ones that we care for that abuse it. It's hard, I know, to find that line where enough is enough, but I found mine and you will discover yours when its time.

I had enough of giving 110% and only getting 5%. Enough of being the only one compromising. The only one making an effort. The only one praying and begging God to change matters. The only one who cared. Being constantly called upon. I had enough being an enabler. Tired of constantly helping to pick up the pieces, just for them to fall in the same place all over again. This is not how relationships should go! There must be a equal give and take!

Due to this revelation, I'm making changes. I'm going to be COMPLETELY SINGLE, no boos, no "friends", no non of that! I'm not going to accept less than I deserve. I'm going to keep my circle of friends small. The only way to remain happy in this world is to realize your worth!  So I'm announcing to the world that Finess Lee Hill has retired from foolishness!

Every relationship, whether: lover, friend, and even family, I'm asking myself... Are they helping to nourish my tree? Are they watering my soul? Or are they just taking shelter and shade without contributing to my tree? I don't know about you,  but I would rather be surrounded but a handful of people who have my best interest at heart,  than a sea of people taking shade while me tree withers away. I'm worth the same love that I give, and will not settle for anything less!

Until next time,
Finess♡♥♡♥

MY Kind of Romance

     Well--we have made it through Spring Fever and Summer Madness (Thank God) and we are now (finally) in the middle of my absolute favorite Season--Autumn!  Autumn blesses us with lovely weather; boots; long walks through golden leaves and cuddling in front of the fire place (to name a few of my favorite Autumn hobbies)!  There are so many lovely things about Autumn and to top it all off it is my first Autumn with Hunny (double the cuddle time)!  And along with all the cuddling, bonfires, hikes, (etc.) burns the brighter than average flame of romance (at least for me).  I don't know what it is about Autumn, but it puts me in a hyper-romantic mood, but--hey I love it (and Hunny isn't complaining either)!  And lucky for me Hunny doesn't mind going along for the ride (or on occasions "driving")!
     I mean Romance is as mutable as Love--it varies from person to person.  Example:  One person may find Game tickets to see their favorite team play their biggest rivals romantic; while another may find a long hike to the top of a mountain at sunrise the most romantic thing ever.  This is why it is very important to get to know your partner and discover exactly what is Romantic for them.  I am happy to share that I am very lucky because my Hunny loves me enough to not only understand and learn what is Romantic to me, but to actually do it.  I will full out (and proudly) admit that I am a quirky woman.  And the other day, I wanted nothing more than to have my hair washed.  I have never asked Hunny to do it before, but for some reason that is what I wanted.  Hunny--being the awesome boyfriend he is actually took the time to do it for me.  He didn't grumble or gripe and to top it all of he took his time and was caring-gentle and diligent.  He asked if I was comfortable with the temperature of the water; how I liked it washed and even if I wanted anything specifically done.  I can not begin to tell you first--how soothing and comforting it was for him to wash my hair, but also how very loved, cared for and special I felt that he would happily take time to do this for me.
     It may seem silly to some, but there was an intimacy and thoughtfulness in every stroke of his hand--every finger along my scalp that turned me into a great-gooey-girly mess.  I was absolutely blissful and content (way less stressed) by the time he finished (he could have asked for the moon and I would have probably given it to him--don't tell him I told you that, though) and I even returned the favor most happily (but I love playing in his gorgeous hair (and he loves when I do too) anyway).  Honestly, sweet thoughts and actions--little things that make me feel special--are very Romantic to me.  Tying my shoe when it is untied; flowers just because you knew they would make me smile; my favorite junk food after I have had a tough day so you can binge and veg out with me; long walks together; a note on my pillow to say you love me; making me lunch and bringing it to my job; surprising me with a day at Tallulah Gorge hiking out to waterfalls or bird watching; an unexpected present (book, movie, perfume, etc.) just because you saw it and thought of me; or even turning off the phone and snuggling up and playing board games and watching movies with me--for me these things are romantic and special.  Romance isn't just about money or fancy dates and vacations--being Romantic or creating Romance can and SHOULD be an every day thing.
     Romance--being Romantic--is more about thoughtfulness and taking time to turn thoughtfulness into action, than anything else.  I have an "Autumn Bucket List" and even though there was a groan from Hunny when I sent it to him after a chuckle he agreed and I can't wait to spend time making new memories with him--trying new things--and enjoying this gorgeous Season!  Day or night when we get the opportunity to have "firsts" together--hold each others' hands and do something different or special I feel loved and cherished and it is so romantically-wonderful that I get all giddy and joyous just thinking about it.  My Romance isn't your type of Romance.  And even if there are similarities there will probably be more differences than not!  I am just so very lucky that my wonderful Hunny loves me enough to share in these moments and indulge in some of my quirkier requests.  So very lucky that my happiness and my sense of Romance being fulfilled is as important to him as his is to me.
     I truly wish that everyone will find that person who holds your happiness above theirs and strives to do everything within their power to make you happy!  There is a beautiful and comforting feeling that comes from that kind of love.  And when you add in the fulfillment of your kind of Romance to that beautiful and genuine love--it is like homemade icing with strawberries on top of the cake!  Well, that is all I have for now.  I wish you all Love and Happiness of the truest kind!
          ~Marissa           

Extraordinary

     What is Extraordinary?  What makes a person, life or experience extraordinary?  Some people have a call--an innate desire--to be extraordinary.  And as most of us with any kind of innate desire know, it becomes one of the most important things in our lives--to fulfill that desire--to achieve that greatness, that extraordinary existence that we just KNOW we are meant to have.  But, I think sometimes we misdirect ourselves because we forget that "extraordinary" can not be classified--it is too mutable to be classified as specifically one kind of situation, state of being or decision.  Maybe this misdirection comes from the fact that as we struggle through this rat race we get so caught up in going and going that we forget that sometimes the most extraordinary things can be the smallest, most simple of things.  Something doesn't have to be record breaking, or world changing to be extraordinary--to make you, or fulfill that desire to be, extraordinary.
     Honestly, stop and think about it.  Extraordinary may be something as difficult, but as simple as ending an unhealthy cycle, i.e.-being the first in your family to finish college; have a happy, healthy, successful marriage; or to never be on welfare.  Extraordinary may be something as natural as being a mother--being able to carry a healthy child to full term, bring them into this world, hold them in your arms and see them take their first breathes.  Have you ever thought that maybe just being who you are is what makes you extraordinary?  Some people are so wonderful, that in being who they are--genuine, kind, supportive, loving, gentle, thoughtful, hopeful, bright, cheery, etc--they are able to have such a  positive impact on others that these people that they touch go on to live the lives they are meant to have.
     There are times, people and situations that will make you extraordinary, but they won't necessarily be newsworthy, or make you rich either.  These moments, people and situations will call you to be yourself, to give of yourself, to help, support or encourage others.  And just because these moments may be small, fleeting, or insignificant to you--they may not be so insignificant to others.  Remember that every day you follow your heart--strive to grow; be true to who you are; embrace and love yourself as well as others; live kindly and honestly--those days and moments make you EXTRAORDINARY.  Never doubt or down play how phenomenal and amazing you are!  Strive to remember your greatness and that you are probably doing something extraordinary every day, but you don't even notice it!

     Remember to take time to appreciate how you have grown and what you have accomplished!  Life is NOT a competition.  It is a journey--so ENJOY IT.  It will have its challenges--let them build you stronger; there will be periods of darkness--let it teach you to have faith and enjoy the light; there will be storms--don't allow them to weather you, be steadfast in who you are.  For at the end of the day you are probably more EXTRAORDINARY then even you realize!  Until another time lovelies I wish you all Love and Happiness of the truest kind!
          ~Marissa

The Great Imbalance

     Although Nessy and I have been rather "quiet" lately, it doesn't mean we have forgotten our blog or fans.  We have both had a lot going on in our lives.  And trust me this is a very good thing.  It means that we are learning, growing, experiencing and living life.  And even though our absence has been short and there were a lot of things that have happened; there is also one--(sadly) glaring fact that has become quite apparent to us both.  We live in a society that perpetuates a great imbalance between men and women.
     I am not being sexiest, bitter or angry when I say this.  It is, quite regrettably,  a cold hard fact.  At one point in time what was important to men was honor, honesty, dependability, intelligence, fidelity,  love, accountability, family and being a good provider, husband and father.  But this is no longer the case.  Now our society encourages individuality over family; irresponsibility over accountability and dependability; money over love; and success over honor and honesty.  We live in a social culture that has been infested with negative ideals that celebrate materialism, excess, degradation, ignorance, greed, dishonesty, and a myriad of  other distasteful and disgusting attributes; practically eliminating the once upstanding and steadfast traditions that were once common place.     
      The continuous breakdown has resulted in men who want to be taken care of; takers; game players; and stagnated individuals who would rather suppress or ignore their shortcomings and "baggage" instead of rallying their courage and putting in hard work to break through and grow past their issues to become better men.  Very few desire to be a true partner, provider, father, husband, friend or lover.  It is like men have become so accustomed to satisfying themselves and their petty and short lived desires that they no longer understand nor do they see the big picture.  They are actually OK with giving bits and pieces of themselves (if anything at all) instead of cultivating themselves (continuously) in order to be a whole person who can engage in stable, healthy relationships.  And on top of all of that most of them believe that women should be satisfied with what little they are willing to do (again, if anything at all)!
     And as a subsequent ripple effect this has pushed women to stand more solidly on their own; to (even when in relationships) rely upon, fight, support and encourage themselves.  They may have a "partner" who exists in their lives, but they still stand alone because their partner isn't supportive, helpful, giving, or protective.  I have heard many women say (of varying cultures and ages) that being married is like having another child to take care of(...)!  Seriously men, do you feel fulfilled being a shell of your former selves?  Is it OK to be considered unreliable, immature and more a hindrance than a help?  Curiously enough I have also heard men of varying ages and cultures complain about not being wanted and women being TOO independent--(again,) SERIOUSLY!!!! You can not have it both ways.  Albeit a relationship isn't always going to be 50/50, sometimes it will be 60/40 or 70/30 and during those times you are supposed to give your partner extra support, love and understanding, but when a relationship is 90/10 or 95/5 then it isn't a healthy relationship--it is a parasitic relationship!
     In every relationship in life, no matter what kind it is, you get what you give!  You set the tone!  If you aren't reliable we won't rely on you; if you lie and/or cheat on us--we will not trust you; essentially if you do not give in return what we give to you freely; if you can not get on the same page with us--we can't (and won't) have a real relationship with you.  (No matter how much we love you--we have to protect ourselves and will not sacrifice our well being to have you in our lives when you take more (or twice as much) as you give!).  Man was not meant to walk alone if he were God would not have made a companion for Adam.  I will also admit that not all men are meant to marry (or women for that matter).
     Relationships aren't all meant to end in marriage with a white picket fence and two point five kids.  But, if you desire to be in a relationship (or eventually to be married and have a family) then men make sure you are ready--that you are on the same page as your partner--and you are in a place to be able to be in a relationship.  I hope men will start taking time to step back and start seeing the big picture again--to become the men they were; leave behind selfishness, lying and irresponsibility and embrace being men of honor, accountability and consideration.  I encourage men to live up to their potential, to correct this great imbalance and bring the world to rights.  I encourage them to achieve their greatness and with the same breath I encourage women to not settle for less than they deserve.  Do not allow someone to only give you bits and pieces when you happily give all of yourself.  Don't settle for an unhealthy relationship (no matter how much you love them) that will end in heartache when you deserve a healthy relationship and a happy ending.  Because the reality of it is--a relationship isn't only about how you feel and treat someone it is more about how someone feel and treats you! 
     Well Lovelies, just some food for thought.  Until another time I wish you Love and Happiness of the truest kind!
          ~Marissa

LOVE--Is More Than A Word

     I know I post a lot about Love, and grant it some of this may seem a bit repetitive--but as it is, Fall is setting in and along with it comes that unfortunate seasonal rut that seems to occur in most relationships.  It seems terribly prevalent during Autumn for guys to get so comfortable that they end up "falling off the Wagon".  So, this has again and again raised the question in mind, heart, soul and conversation--Love--What is Love to you?  Love differs from person to person.  We all have certain Love Languages that touch us more on an emotional level than others.  (If you don't know about your Love Language, why not find out about it at www.5lovelanguages.com !)  And because we all vary so much, it is very important to learn the love language of your significant other in order to understand and be able to show them love in a way that they will not only be able to appreciate, but receive as well.
     I know that Hunny isn't psychic (as most men aren't) and so I strive to communicate with him to help him understand what I need and want as well as to make sure that we are on the same page.  And honestly it isn't always easy.  Not for me--especially because of my past.  But as I am determined to rectify the mistakes of my past and build a healthy relationship I choose to fight against my defense mechanisms.  So instead of running, or throwing up a steel wall, I breathe through my initial fears, hurts and frustrations and sit down to talk with Hunny.  Yet, knowing it takes two people to make a relationship work I can only do so much on my end.  And honestly that is one of the most terrifying facts of Love there is--knowing that I can not make it work by myself.  Simply knowing that my heart, my desire, my Love is not enough to make this relationship work makes it hard not to just run away in sheer terror out of fear of a broken heart because it would be easier--safer.  Knowing that the fate of not only my relationship, but my heart is equally at the mercy of his hands sets my heart trembling with trepidation.  And that is the greatest most difficult part of the gamble.  But, that is when I ask myself not only if this gamble with Hunny is worth it-- but if I will let my past and fears deny me the right ( or deny him the chance) to try again to Love and be Loved.  
     You, see when I choose Love (as with those of us who do) I knowingly choose to gamble my heart with Hunny.  To take a chance that may be this will be my FOREVER Love.  I choose to bestow upon him the gift of Chance to win my heart for all time.  I choose to allow him into my heart and life.  I choose to be vulnerable, available, understanding, patient, kind, honest--essentially I choose to walk, live, breathe Love; for I have learned that it is more than a word (or many words).  Love is in every action and thought of every moment of every day whether the person is right next to you or 1000 miles away.  For when one Loves (truly--purely love) they are elevated (and the relationship they are trying to build) unto another plateau.  But with Love the gamble isn't just in your hand that counts like in black jack--no it is more like spades.  It is about what your partner is holding just as much as what you are.  And at the end of the day you can only do your best and give your best and hope and pray that your partner understands that they are just as responsible for the success or failure to make your "books" as you are.  (Lol, I couldn't resist adding in some spades references!)  And hopefully (seriously) your partner will understand that just like in spades NOTHING is a surety, but a gamble and a chance and if they play their hand wrong, they will LOSE!
     And it isn't just one misplayed hand, but many that result in the ULTIMATE LOSS.  If you try and try to communicate with words and actions, but there is no change in how they play the game; if they are not willing to try to work with you, to build with you, so that you both can win (not just each other but,) together then it may be time to find another partner (no matter how much it may hurt or how much the loss of your old partner would break your heart).  Because a partner that does not trust or listen to you--a partner who isn't receptive or dedicated to you or your gamble (that you make together), isn't a good partner to have.  For every time they disregard you; take you for granted; ignore; hurt or deny you they are rejecting the love, time, hard work and dedication you have poured into your relationship.  They deny you and everything you are working for.  And Ladies and Gents, I know what that feels like.  That sting I have felt too keenly time and time again and it wearies and frustrates me as I know it must do to all those who have felt and do feel it.  It chips away at the partnership, trust, and very hope that your relationship thrives on--until there is nothing left.   
     Essentially we all need to learn and understand the Love Language of our partners; to understand what they require and what your roll in the relationship requires.  Step forward and understand what it takes to make it work and DO what it takes to make it work so you don't lose out.  Remember every time you slip up you give someone else the opportunity to slip in!  And trust me, if you know your partner is wonderful 9 times out of 10 so do a few other people!  Relationships--LOVE-- is about constantly growing TOGETHER.  (And growing to grow together you must both be there next to each other.)  It is about what you put in (and what you put in is what you get out).  You can not constantly take and give nothing.  You can not constantly chip away at the foundation and expect the building to stand!  If you can not or do not or wish not to LOVE then do not torment your partner acting as though you do.
     I hope that we all can make it through the Seasonal curse of Fall and greet Winter with stronger relationships.  Until another time I wish you all Love and Happiness of the truest kind. 
          ~Marissa

Let's Talk About Sex!

     If you think this post is about all my "dirty" little bedroom secrets, well slow your roll because it is NOT!  What this post is about is quite simply--communication!  We have blogged about communication in regards to many different facets in a relationship, but this is our first about communicating in regards to sex.  There can be no trust or intimacy (either physical or emotional) in a relationship--in any facet--if there isn't communication.  Well, how often do you remember to communicate with your partner in the bedroom?
    The only way to enhance intimacy between you and your partner is to show that you are open, receptive and trustworthy.  Nine times out of ten you probably get caught up in the emotions and the actions and before you know it--every thing is basically said and done.  Well whether before, after (or depending on how things are, during) you should take time to communicate with your partner.  If there is something that you really enjoy or really dislike, don't hesitate to let your partner know!  Compliment and verbally appreciate the wonderful things they can do and that you do together, too.  If you are feeling adventurous or curious about something talk with them about it--much more than likely your partner will be supportive and open and you two can venture into new territory together.
     Remember intimacy is important on all levels and this little bit of advice may just lead you to a lot of fun!  It may not be easy, if you aren't used to speaking to your partner about your physical intimacy, but we all must start somewhere.  And I am sure the benefits will be worth the initial hesitancy (or embarrassment) that you may initially experience.
     Remember communication is key to build a healthy and happy relationship--even when it comes to physical intimacy.  What can it truly hurt to try?  Until another time I wish you all Love and Happiness of the truest kind.
          ~Marissa  

Marissas of the World--Unite!

     I remember when I was growing up and only ever knowing of two other girls who shared my name.  One was a few grades under me and the other was one of my mother's favorite actresses, Marisa Tomei.  Outside of us three, I had never known of or met another Marissa.  Honestly it made me a little sad because I couldn't be like the Jenifers, Ashleys or Brittanys in my classes.  I didn't know what it was like to have an automatic kinship with other girls because we shared a name (it was almost like The Ashleys from Disney Channel's animated series, "Recess").  It was rather lonely and of course the more painfully obnoxious children who pointed out how "different" and uncommon my name was, made it so much worse.  Taking into consideration my noticeably unusual appearance and the way I sound I didn't really need one more--well anything to make me stand out, but I had it!
     As I grew older, did some research and realized being the only 'Marissa' in not only my class, but my school wasn't necessarily a bad thing.  My beloved name, 'Marissa', has Latin and Hebrew origins with many different spellings and a couple different meanings, but my favorite is the Latin definition for Marissa which means "Of the Sea".  (Being a true lover of water, the moon and a Pisces it is easy to understand why.)  And with that knowledge of origin, every year that passed I began to fall more in love with my name.  Needless to say by the time I hit college I had so much love for my name that whenever I said it, it would drip from my lips like honey (C'mon say it with me--Ma-RISS-ahhhh, lol)!  SN:  This may also be why I HATE it when people do not say my name correctly or sweetly(Yes I am that emphatic and serious about my name)!
     Now many years after grade school and college a new and unexpected chapter in this story of my name has begun!  It seems as though Marissas have not only grown, but prospered and we are now coming out of the wood works, clawing our way into the sunlight and making sure the world knows we are here!  Marissa's are actresses, models, athletes, musicians, producers, writers, medical professionals, refuge volunteers, and CEO's!  Instead of people knowing one or even none people know multiple ones!  We are as vibrant, unique and memorable as our name!  We are making our mark!  I don't know about every other Marissas (Maressa, Maricia, Marisa, Marisha, Maritza, Mariza, Marrissa, Maryssa, Merissa, Meryssa and Morissa or any other variation in spelling of Marissa), but I feel empowered, encouraged and proud.  And most sincerely quite determined to be one of the great Marissas of the world!
     Okay, I am exiting the roof top and putting down the bull horn.  But you can't blame me for wanting to herald the awesomeness of Marissas!  Until another time Lovelies, I wish you all Love and Happiness of the truest kind!
          ~Marissa

A Letter from a Honest Heart to Her Love

I'm hurt... Abandoned and hurt... Why is it that the ones we love the most hurt us the most? When the world is harsh and cruel, all I want to do is be in your arms; where I am safe and warm. But you are not found. I wanna cry, but the ears will not come. My Heart Guard will not let them out. I wanna throw things and yell, but I cannot move yet alone make a sound. I thought you meant it when you said you'll never leave. I believed you when you told me you'll be good to me. But where are you now? I yearn for you , but you are lost in the sea of people. I believed you, and you let me down. I love you and you're not here to love and comfort me. I am left alone to face this nasty cruel world by myself... without my warmth to keep me going...

I know we have all been there, but the honest truth is that these feeling don't last. If we are honest with our Loves, you very rarely feel this way! But if you Love makes you feel like this more often than not, Beautiful LEAVE! We all deserve someone who will: love, comfort, provide, protect, and stand with us, because we will give them nothing less! So dry your eyes, know that tomorrow will better, and smile that glorious smile!

Until next time, stay open and honest, and love hard!

Finess

I Just Need You!

     I believe that God puts people in our lives for a season, reason or a lifetime.  Some of these people become our Rocks---our Safe Havens.  They become our physical refuge in times of trouble and tribulation.  We all have that one person in our life that fulfills this roll.  And when the storms start to build and we begin to feel ourselves being pushed further out into the dark abyss we turn to our Rocks.  But there are times when our Rocks--our Safe Havens--aren't available.  And when that happens it perpetuates the negative emotions, thoughts and atmosphere that we were trying to find solace from to begin with.  It really adds to the feeling of isolation, frustration and sadness quite exponentially. 
     I know when I find myself in such a situation the only thing I truly want to do is throw myself on the floor bawling my eyes out, kicking and screaming (and throwing things) because I feel like, I try to be self reliant, but when I need my Haven--I NEED MY HAVEN!  It is difficult to be the adult that I am when I want nothing more than to be a bratty, baby about it all!  Maybe I should fuss and yell because when I need my Rock no one else will suffice!  I mean I need my Haven to cuddle, comfort and kiss me!  And even though I love Nessie like a sister she just can't fulfill that role--especially not in that way!  Sometimes the soothing balm of your Haven, the comfort of those arms and that voice are the only things needed to help settle the winds and diminish the fury of the storm you are trying to weather through.  It is impossible to be that kind of physical comfort for yourself.  
     Even though your rock may be the catalyst for the substantial rise of an already bleak and devastating storm this may be all (and most surely is) unintentional.  This is why I truly urge people to realize if they are some one's Rock/Haven and what that means.  Even though we are all adults and life happens and we may not always be able to be there for someone in a physical way--be there for them emotionally or make reparations for faltering.  Because, if I am being quite honest, the hurt of being abandoned by your Rock/Haven is a hurt that runs deep within the heart.  It is an ache that is both physical and emotional and it is a hurt that is difficult to mend.  It causes a crack in the foundation of your relationship and shakes the trust and surety that you have spent so much time and energy to construct.
        Don't hesitate to let them know exactly how their absence affected you.  But do not speak out of a place of hurt that would negatively affect your Rock/Haven.  Remember all the times that your Rock/Haven has been there for you.  And also remember that none of us are perfect, but as long as your Rock/Haven does their best and tries with all of their heart to be there for/with you to help you when you need them--that is what is important.
     Well Lovelies, that is all I have for now.  Until another time I wish you Love and Happiness of the truest kind.
          ~Marissa