Soul Mates

     We are all spiders in this life.  Building connections with others until we have a web connecting us to those we love, like, admire and even hate.  Connections sometimes take time, but the ones that are the most magical happen before we take our first breath.  They are instantaneous, predestined, before we even meet and when we do--BAM--the kindred souls connect; falling together like missing pieces of the same puzzle.  Sometimes these connections are to friends who you know beyond a shadow of a doubt were members of your family in a former life.  Others are your romantic halves--promising love either missed or deprived from lives before.  But no matter what space they fill in your life or heart they are your soul mates.
     I think there is a serious misconception in this world that there is only one soul mate, just one person that completes you.  Maybe for some this is true to a degree, but even then I would challenge them in asking this--who declared that soul mates can only be of a romantic nature?  I know, from my experiences, that I have had many soul mates.  Some have been long lost sisters and brothers, people whom I love and trust as family almost instantaneously (which is out of character for me) because it was the most natural feeling and desire in my heart--a reaction as innate as breathing for me.  And a deep feeling of knowing them beyond this life envelopes me with a warmth, comfort, almost like coming home.  It is surreal and unlike anything I have ever known before.  They are my soul mates.  Our connection and love for each other, even though familial, is still that of a soul mate.
     And of course I have had soul mates in love and romance that have touched my heart in places I never knew existed.  I loved them beyond reason and explanation.  Even if it didn't last or our roads diverged--I love them.  But never have I loved any of them the same.  I love them from the place in my heart and soul they captured and for all of time--just like the kindred brothers and sisters of my soul--that love will remain.  It isn't that they all ended well or lasted long; nor did I love them to the same depth or degree, but the connection was natural and(again) an instantaneous feeling off having known each other long before our paths crossed.  It was real and genuine and that is an incomparable magic all on its own. 
     I can understand if this may confuse some people or that they may think it impossible to connect with different people in such a way, but I believe that they forget that LOVE is infinite.  It is limited only by ourselves.  Soul Connections can be one of the most beautiful and rewarding things in this life.  Neither are meant to always make sense, but they are meant to be appreciated and experienced to the fullest.    Maybe this idea is too "open" for some, but as always I speak from the truth from my heart. Until another time I wish you all LOVE and Happiness of the truest kind.

     --Marissa

In My Garden

     Hello Lovelies!  I know I have been gone for awhile, but I really needed to take a break and recollect myself.  I needed to remember how to tend to my garden.  Sometimes we get so caught up in life--the running, rushing and general rat race that we all run (to make a paycheck) that we forget to stop, breathe and take time to tend to the most important part of our lives--ourselves.  And truth be told I was so busy being so many things to so many people--spreading myself thin--so much so there was nothing left for me and I was feeling the strain of it all in an unimaginable way.
     With my very being feeling tired and overwhelmed my mind wouldn't quiet--and a feeling of being lost within myself eclipsed everything else.  And I can't begin to explain exactly how the combination of all of this was reeking havoc on me.  One emotion or state of being led way to another and yet another; becoming catalysts unto themselves and creating a seemingly endless cycle--they fed off of each other and I was in great need of getting out my gloves and pulling the weeds that had taken root in my life.  Right now I am still in the process of trying to organize, detox and give myself some much needed love-- unfortunately, like with any garden, it is going to take time and work in order for me to get back to a hundred percent.
     And quite honestly there is no way I can do this by myself--and lucky for me I don't have to.  The out pouring of love and support from Hunny, Chickateeta, friends and co-workers has warmed my heart and reminded me why we shouldn't go through life alone.  I wish I didn't have these painfully human moments, but because of them I am reminded of my blessings; about the people who truly do love and support me; and that sometimes--when overwhelmed--it is OK for others to help you.  That is why we have those special people in our lives.  It is truly during these times (or during their own times of trepidation) that we discover exactly what kind of flowers these people are in our lives--whether they are Seasonal, Perennials or Annuals. During certain trials and tribulations we are able to see exactly what kind of qualities they will bring to our garden and subsequently what kind of longevity they will have as well.
     Maybe that is why times such as this are not only a curse, but a blessing as well.  They can call you back to yourself to cleanse, reevaluate, appreciate and learn.  Obviously I was long overdue and just like I procrastinate on updating my computer (until it does it by itself during the most inconvenient times) I also seemed to have done the same with myself.  I will have to put into practice carving out time for rejuvenation so that I can maintain a healthier Being more consistently than I have been lately.  Well, that is all I have for now.  I can't promise I will have more soon, but I will do my best.  Please learn from my mistake and don't forget to take time to tend your garden because when things become overgrown it is harder to work through your fields.
     Until another time I wish you all Love and Happiness of the truest kind!
          ~Marissa         

Lifesavers

     Lifesavers--are not just multi-flavored fruity candies--but they are people who are in our lives to do exactly as the title suggest--save our lives.  Although all of this may sound a tad dramatic, it isn't.  Honestly, don't we all need Lifesavers in our lives?  They are the ones that help us to maintain perspective; keep us from slipping over the edge, and help us to keep our heads above water when we are tired of treading through the waves.  And the best thing about it is that we don't ever have to ask.  Lifesavers jump right in without a second thought--as soon as they see you floundering, slipping, or falling they are right there to help keep you where you need to be.
      I thank God everyday for the Lifesavers that he has brought into my life.  I wouldn't be where I am without them.  In retrospect, when I think about everything that I have experienced in the past three decades, without Lifesavers I would not be the 'Marissa', that I am today.  Although, I am sad for the Lifesavers who were not meant to be around for a lifetime, I have found that no matter how long my Lifesavers are here each one of them has helped me to survive and grow.  And for that I am truly and eternally grateful.
     To every family member, best friend, friend (or what have you) I want to say thank you.  Thank you for the late night conversations, hugs and support; thank you for your kindness, tears and protection; thank you for  your honesty, laughter, and hand holding; thank you for your encouragement, acceptance, thoughtfulness and sacrifices.  Thank you for being there when I needed you.  Thank you for not letting me walk this life alone; thank you for loving me through the hurt, pain, trials, anger and negativity.  Thank you for inspiring and helping me to heal and grow.  Thank you for being who you are, for in doing so you helped me to become who I am.
     I believe everything happens for a reason, that people are in our lives for a reason.  And sometimes we forget to say 'thank you', but life is too short to forget something so necessary and simple.  I wanted to take time to say, 'thank you' to all of my Lifesavers; my kindred spirits; my soul mates; my loves; my friends; my family for you are the people who make up my world and without you I would be a lone island in the midst of the raging sea of life.
     I hope you all take time to tell your Lifesavers thank you and to remember how people have blessed your life.  Until another time I wish you all Love and happiness of the truest kind.
     ~Marissa
         

Hog Tied/Query

PREVIOUSLY WRITTEN

     Question:  How (if ever the decision is made to) does one talk to a friend about their (God awful) significant other--who is (at best) the pebble in the (collective group of friends') proverbial shoes?  I mean (with absolutely no sarcasm or embellishment) when the other person is so awful that everyone dreads their presence because they know that they will be faced with a disrespectful and malicious terror, should something not be done?  And what's worse is when this Terror isn't just awful to their significant other, but to the collective group as well.

     There is never a situation where the Terror doesn't leave half of the people with a bad taste in their mouth and the rest running for the exits (ok, that was a little facetious)!  How does one address this?  Is the (much more than possible) fall out worth it?  I mean seeing a friend go through so much with the Terror one can't help feeling bad for them, yet how much must the collective endure as they try to support the friend (through such a tragic relationship)?  The collective desires the happiness of their friend, to see them with someone wonderful, but when the friend connects themselves with a Terror the  lines start to mingle where friendly advice ends and obnoxious opinions begin...

     What a conundrum to be caught in!  What should the collective do, if anything at all?  Oh well, more to ponder--hopefully an answer will come!  Until another time I wish you all Love and Happiness of the Truest kind!

          ~M

I've Got That Feeling/Divorcee Dating Saga Part Cinq

     This weekend I had a couple of "firsts"!  Sunday my girlfriends and I planned a couples' date for our boyfriends.  Our original idea of a picnic in the park would have been fantastic if it hadn't gotten rained out :(!  So we opted for Meehan's (our new favorite spot) a great Irish Pub at Atlantic Station instead.  My super adorable boyfriend was (*so sweet*) nervous because this was the first time he was meeting my friends and the first time with us going out as a couple with other couples (he is just so darling)!  I can proudly say that he left a fantastic impression and they can't stop talking about him (neither can my family for that matter) since Sunday!  I know that he was breathing a little easier after knocking every one's socks off (we can't wait for round two) and I most happily will admit that I was a very, very, proud girlfriend.
     I loved seeing him cracking jokes with the guys and telling silly stories about us; the couple-group interaction was absolutely delightful!  In between the blushing, giggling and flirtations I felt my heart overflowing with giddy joy.  All these girlie feelings came coursing through me and I was overcome with sheer (and ridiculously joyous) bliss!  The fact that he (let's call him, 'Hunny') made time (and continues to make time) for my friends and me made me feel so special and lucky.  (Like I said guys it is truly about the simple, little, things.)  I could feel myself glowing (even without my friends teasing me for the past two days about it) and Hunny's sweetness is the reason for it!  Next time I hope to be able to toss him in the water with the entire crew (which should be a blast) and I love that I know (for a fact) that he will (always) make me proud!
     Well lovelies I am looking forward to more couples' dates with him (as I am sure you can tell).  Until another time, I wish you all love and happiness of the truest kind!
     ~Marissa 

The Qualities of a True Friend...

Today I am going to step onto my soapbox for a little while because--well because sometimes it is necessary.  People use certain terms too lightly one of which is love, but the second they use too lightly is just as important and that is FRIEND!  Do you know the qualities of a true friend?  It is quite apparent that most people don't.  You see a lot of people think that a friend is someone who just nods their head and tell you, 'yes', or agrees with whatever you say or tells you what you want to hear.  Well my dears that is most certainly NOT a friend.  That is a yes man, a kiss ass, a wolf in sheep's clothing and you are not only a fool to believe otherwise, but you may just be someone who isn't a good friend too.
     You see a good friend doesn't always tell you yes, but a good friend will always speak to you from a heart full of truth, with kind words and honesty.  A good friend will help to keep you on the right path, support and remind you of the big picture.  That is what good, true friends are for that is what they do!  And sometimes in order to fulfill that duty they will tell you a hard truth, remind you of what you are overlooking and sometimes just tell you 'no' as kindly as possible. 
     The purpose of me pointing any of this out is when you isolate your good friends then you surround yourself with the wrong people and set yourself up for failure and heartache.  At the same time I feel as though it is almost a moot point because some people really don't understand or can identify healthy, mature, honest friendships.  If this is the case then I am wasting my breath or words rather.  On the other hand for all of you who are good, honest, friends I want you to not doubt yourself and know that your friendship and honesty isn't something you need to change, but your friends may be.  Just consider this a little food for thought.  Until the next time I wish you all love and happiness! 
     ~ Marissa