The Closing of Year 25

Hellooooooo!!!!! Hi everyone!!!

Long time, I know! But honestly I haven't had much to share, nor did I feel ready to share my feelings. Sometimes we have to take time for self. But I'm back!!!! And ready to spill my guts!!!

So Year 25 is coming to into the 4th quarter! I'm quickly approaching 26, and I feel wonderful! I feel brave, fearless, strong, loved, cherished, and most importantly wise... LOL well wiser! I have weathered the storms! Cried my heart out! Loved with all of my might! Chose to love myself first! Did things I never thought I could. Walked away from lover and friends! I have grown closer with some and farther away from others. I've seen the crazy that I can be, and also experienced the serenity of being ones true self. I have had lovers (well suitors)... LOL! And put a stop to manly foolishness in my life! But boy what a year!

Through all the many adventures I've had in my 25th year of my life, I have found a few things to be true...

1) Baby LOVE YOURSELF! Things and people will never be right or enough until you learn to be happy with just YOU. You will put up with people and situations that you do not deserve because you are too afraid to be alone. Trust yourself and your God. No one can live your life for you, nor should they. You are born alone and will die alone, why not get know the only person who love you the way God will love you, You!

2) Things are going to happen the way they are meant to. Don't get me wrong, we play a huge part in shaping our lives, but sometimes things are going to happen, so go with it. It's out of our control. And more often than not, the things we try so hard to hold on to are the very things that hurt us and stunt our growth. So please, if you have done all that you can, let it be. You'll be surprised how something better has come along after you let go!

3) Seriously... why so serious! Dude!!! Life is not that serious. Your problems are never so serious that you cannot find one thing a day to smile about. I've gotten to the point that I don't talk on the phone very long with people who seem to do nothing but complain, it's just not attractive. It's ok to vent and get it out, but gees honey, can we talk about pretty shoes now? LOL! I had to learn this myself. When things are bad in my life, I'll focus on the good, on the blessings. There is always someone out there who has it worse than you, so stop complaining, try to fix your problem, and be thankful! Smile beautiful!

Big lessons to learn in 3/4 of a year, but well worth it! I hope that everyone out there still in this Quarter-life Crisis with me is surviving and growing as well! We can make it, and will make it through! Live your life the best way you know. Try to find your happiness, and don't stop until you catch it. We are the future, no longer children, on the cusp of adulthood! Let's make our story on hell of a tale!

Until next time, don't forget to Smile Beautiful!

Finess ♡♥♡

The Approach

     The other night as I was clocking out from work I had some random, creepy dude literally invade my bubble (to the point where I couldn't swipe my badge without bumping into him) asking, "What your name is?"  Ummm--SERIOUSLY?!?!?!  I couldn't refrain from giving him my patented "eat sh*t and die--you lowbrow, slovenly, pathetic boy" look while replying with a completely disdainful, "Excuse me?"!  (If I weren't at work I would have popped off and acted a monkey, but I had to maintain some sort of professionalism).  Needless to say (the combination of both which can not be translated with only words) worked with sheer perfection as he backed off quite quickly, but why do I even have to do all of that in the first place?  What is unfortunate is that this is not the first (and I am pretty sure not the last) incident of its kind that I have experienced AND I am not the only woman who has stories like this either!
    There is a reason why people say that first impressions are the most important, most lasting.  Your first impression sets the tone for how you not only present yourself, but how you are received by others as well.  So, I ask this question:  If you KNOW that your first impression is the most important then why in the HELL do guys (9 out of 10 times) approach women in the most incorrect of ways?  (I said guys not MEN!)  I am a woman not a twelve year old girl!  The random, "Hey Shorty!"; "Hey Red"; "What your name..."; "Can I come home with you?" is disrespectful, disgusting, immature and pathetic.  You paint yourself as being thirsty, classless, uneducated and stagnant.  Why in the world would or can you think that any approaches like that would work?!?!?!?  And what makes matters worse when they don't work you don't look at YOURSELF to see how you can improve, oh no, you look at women and call them "stuck up", "b*tches" or "hoes" (or worse).  NEWSFLASH for you--good, mature, well balanced and accomplished women don't LOWER their standards nor will they--let alone for you.
     Or if you don't blame women you end up blaming men!  You look at MEN (I said men, not boys or guys) who have their lives together and present themselves well and think that the only reason a woman will date or marry them is because of their job, house or car.  No my friend that isn't true at all because if you had all of the same accouterments 'he' did, but you were still you--you still wouldn't get the time of day.  Real Men know the importance of, "Excuse me Miss..."; "How are you today?"; "I just wanted to say you look beautiful..." AKA:  the polite, mature approach!  Think about it, all the world isn't wrong and you right.  If you aren't getting the results you want it is time for you to take a break and reassess yourself!  I know I am tired of the most wrong of wrong approaches aren't you getting tired of presenting them! 
     It just makes me wonder, how and why any guy would think that he could present himself in such a way and get a positive result.  What makes me wonder more is what kind of girls are out there accepting this nonsense and subsequently reinforcing such bad habits.  Well, that is all I have for tonight.  I guess Finess and I both needed to vent a little.  Until another time I wish you all Love and Happiness of the truest kind.
   

I Do Believe in Good Girls, I Do, I Do!/Rebirth of the Well Rounded Woman

     Early mornings, ugh!  But I thought it would be a great time to post this as I am waiting for my training class for work (did I mention that I hate early mornings-- I am not used to seeing the sun rise)!  Okay so something that I am really tired of seeing (and for the sake of our generation should stop) is the promotion and exaltation of "bad girls".  It isn't only in the media (i.e.:  Bad Girls Club; Married to Medicine; Real House Wives of(anything), etc...) that "bad girls" are applauded for their behavior but (whether we realize it or not) in our personal lives as well.  And I am not only talking about the " guilty pleasure" of watching various reality t.v. shows, but the actions we condone in ourselves and our friends too. 
     In a society that indulges and celebrates "bad girls" I am determined to do the exact opposite and celebrate the "good girls" (I KNOW they still exist)!  Instead of wasting time on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter (or any other social network site) following; retweeting; liking; or commenting on the ridiculous and disgusting behavior of self proclaimed "bad girls" let's find the good girls who are actually doing something to improve not only themselves, but their future and generation-- applaud them instead.  How many statuses have you seen (or posted) about girls who behave badly; don't carry themselves well or display a poor attitude?  How often have you seen some of the younger girls and shake your head and ask yourself why are they acting or dressing that way?  Look at what is considered acceptable and appreciated in our society and our media.  We can't expect to continuously applaud "bad girls" and turn around and tell our young girls and women not to be the same way.  We are sending mixed messages!  We are spreading tolerance and hypocrisy!
     It is time that we step up and re-take control of our society, generation and media.  Let us stop celebrating the wrong role models and ideals and start promoting the right ones again!  It is time for a rejuvenation of what is good and necessary.  I am tired of us all shaking our head at our generational plight and not doing anything.  Time is wasting away and action is long over due!  I will put away the soap box for now, but I hope you actually will give some thought to starting a new revolution--The Rebirth Of The Well Rounded Woman!
     Until another time I wish you love and happiness of the truest kind!
          Marissa