I'm Awesome

     Yes, that is a very egotistical (albeit honest) title for this new post, but it is so insanely appropriate that I absolutely could not contain my desire to slap it at the very top and let the whole world know what I am feeling inside.  I mean I seriously woke up one day this week and I had a straight Dune moment I swear that I almost ran outside in my onesie and screamed "...the sleeper has awakened" at the top of my lungs!  (Point 1:  If you have never seen the cult classic known as Dune or read any of the books I encourage you to do one or the other IMMEDIATELY!  Point 2:  Yes I have a My Little Pony--Rainbow Dash onesie and I love it (side note:  A Totoro onesie is in my future)!  Now that I have satisfied that tangent I will most definitely get back on the subject of --Me! 
    The sleeper has awakened--everything clicked for me when I got out of bed that day.  The doubt, hesitation, worry, fear, sadness--all of it was gone!  My inner lioness was back and it feels SO GOOD!  I forgot about my wonder, as a woman, daughter, sister, girlfriend, friend, co-worker.  I forgot what I offer as a woman, to the people in my life--those I love--and even who I am.  I am versed enough in this life to understand that there are times when this may happen and I was experiencing one of those. Even so, though I may have been "sleeping", I was also learning. Learning about myself--about others in my life--about living in general.  Yet, even though I was learning--I was also forgetting--which is never a good thing.  But, joyously am I celebrating that time that has passed for me.  And I will continue to shout praises of appreciation for all that I have learned and experienced.  But now it is a new year--it is 2015, y'all and I am about that life! (Please excuse the verbal cliches, but they are just too much fun right now and I can't deny the use of them!)
     So, I have become the embodiment of that old adage, "New year, new me"  because I am NEW!  In so many ways.  I even told my mom there are two words that I am eliminating from my vocabulary this year, "ok" and "fine".  I feel as though they no longer have any place in my life!  I am fantastic, wonderful, blessed, loved--I am so much more than those two words could ever describe.  I will no longer rest on their laurels!  They no longer have power or place in my life!  And I will hold true to this.  Even if my day isn't going beautifully I have so much that can NOT be taken from me that I can only ever be at the very least--blessed.
     I am educated, intelligent, determined, kind, sassy and so fun!  I love my family, new career, new company and my CREW (SHOUT OUT TO THE CREW).  I have a home (and always will for where there is true love, kindness and safety that is where home will be for me), a fantastic new car and so many opportunities set before me that I am so giddy with excitement that I can barely contain myself!  And even though certain relationships aren't all sunshine and lollipops in my life right now, I am still so solid because if the time for my "contract to be renewed" comes up and there isn't a reason for me to renew it--I will become a free agent (may the best franchise win, lol(excuse the football analogy but it was apropos)).
     And all of this is because I AM AWESOME.  I am genuinely a wonderful woman and person.  I am a treasure--a prize--a jewel who through trials and tribulations I have been made stronger, brighter, and priceless.  I have so much to offer, to give, and I am to the point in my life that if what I offer is rejected, unappreciated, abused or taken for granted in any way then there is no reason to continue to give any one (no matter who they are) something they don't understand, desire or deserve.
    I am so thankful for this re-awakening.  I feel as though my light is absolutely uncontainable right now!  And I LOVE IT! :)  I want to encourage all of you to maintain and protect your light.  Let it blossom and grow.  Do not be deterred if it feels as though it is taking forever for it to increase or if you feel as though you are stuck or even if you feel as though every thing you do isn't working out as you have planned.  Something that I learned a long time ago is that everything happens not according to our plans but they happen as they are SUPPOSED to as they are SUPPOSED to.  Be patient--my sleepers--keep faith.  And until another time I wish you all Love and Happiness of the Truest kind!
     ~Always
          Marissa   

Confidence is KEY!

     Okay Lads and Lassies I don't know whether you know it or not (or maybe you might have forgotten) but the key to achieving most things in life is CONFIDENCE!  I am not joking at all here, so take note.  Confidence is key.  Now I am not talking about Ego--no--that is a truly sad attribute and makes someone look immature and fake.  I am talking about genuine, healthy, confidence.  Although you may consider this a lot of unwarranted emphasis on something that may seem unnecessary (to those who don't know) I can guarantee you that this is not the case at all.  I believe that we spend a lot of time focusing on love, honesty and perseverance, but what are any of these attributes without confidence?  Would Romeo have pursued Juliet without confidence?  Would honest Abe been honest without confidence?  Would Martin Luther King, Jr have persevered without confidence?  No--I don't think so--and if you are honest with your self (especially after I have posed these questions) I am sure you don't think so either.
     The generation of confidence is a curious thing.  Nine times out of ten confidence is an attribute cultivated over time, although for some lucky people it is natural.  I will admit that I have more "affection" for those who have had to come through a lot--heal--and get to know themselves well enough to build that confidence.  Because it comes from being quite hard won I believe it is stronger, than "natural" confidence.  But, don't misunderstand me, healthy confidence no matter from where it originates is a beautiful and necessary thing in this life.  You see either way, confidence is like the spinal cord for all other positive attributes that make up our internal structure.  It is necessary for us to fulfill our roles as people.  With confidence not only do doors in our (external) lives open, but doors within ourselves open as well.  And that is truly priceless.
      One can exude confidence in various ways; it is in the way you carry yourself, your demeanor, your walk and how you speak to others.  And whether or not you realize it people can tell when you do and don't have confidence in yourself.  That realization will have an affect on how others perceive and react to you. You see confidence is what allows you to own who you are; face the world bravely and undaunted.  It gives you the ability to venture forth with surety and an unfailing knowledge of self to the  point where nothing can (nor will) deter you.  Confidence, even when it comes to the opposite sex, opens more doors than not because whether you realize it or not it is tremendously appealing!  (Quite honestly few things are more attractive than someone who is confident and sure of themselves--who they are.)   
    When I was younger I didn't understand why confidence is so important.  But the longer I live and the more I experience I have found that having confidence is an important part of having a healthy internal balance--an important part of self love.  It is something that will help propel us--drive us--to achieve our goals; to be the people we deeply desire to be.  I believe it to be truly necessary (just so long as it is healthy and doesn't mutate into an ego) for us to prosper in our lives.  When people have confidence it draws others to them like moths to a flame.  It adds to the internal light that burns within, magnifying its brilliance into an undeniable and incandescent entity. 
     Being someone who had to work very hard to build my own confidence--I consider it, although difficult, a truly great, personal achievement.  My sojourn through my internal dark forests and brier patches was well worth the outcome.  I found my voice and the strength to unapologetically be who I am!  without confidence I wouldn't be able to love myself nor all of my imperfections and quirkiness.  Confidence, healthy confidence, is something to be proud of.  It is a powerful and beneficial attribute that everyone should cultivate.  Sometimes it isn't easy to acquire, but I encourage everyone (who is having difficulties building theirs) to make that personal, internal, journey for the benefits are well worth the difficulties.  That is all the food for thought I have for tonight, Lovelies!  Until another time I wish you all Love and Happiness of the truest kind!
          ~Marissa