A New Lease on Life

You know whats worst than having too little time for something? Having way too much time and nothing to do!

So here I am, twiddling my thumbs, just a little brain numb from catching up on EVERY show I've missed since the invention of cable. Ugh this is not how my life should look!  It doesn't feel right! I feel so lost in the sauce! Now that I have settled in my new position at work and have enjoyed my new found free schedule... I NEED TO FIND A LIFE!!!!

And that is exactly what I'm going to do! And I'm going to take you guys along with me! The more the merrier!  And hopefully I can encourage someone out there to start having adventures outside of the house too! :-)

So here is the list of all the things I find interesting, and each off day that I have, I will incorporate something off my list! If you have an suggestion on something I should try, please let me know!!!

My Interests
-FOOD: Cooking and Eating
-Meditation
-Boss (my dog)
-Walking
-Dancing
-Reading
-Arts and Crafts
- Shopping
-Traveling

So cheers to the many adventures that await me! And a second shot for the ones you'll have! Can't wait to share stories!
Until next time... FIND A LIFE!

Finess

You Come First

So lately I've been quite silent, and I truly apologize for that! Where some need to talk and vent or even have a drink or 5, I need space; time alone between myself and my creator. I resort to my safe haven when the sea of our world makes me a little seasick.

After counsel with Him and reflection,  I realized the root of my unhappiness. Guess what?  Like most problems, it started with me. I was allowing those who I cared for the most mistreat me. I was putting their best interest before mine, and not receiving the same in return. I'm not saying that being there for others and occasionally putting their needs before your is a bad thing, but there comes a time when that gift is misused and mistreated. More often than not, it's the ones that we care for that abuse it. It's hard, I know, to find that line where enough is enough, but I found mine and you will discover yours when its time.

I had enough of giving 110% and only getting 5%. Enough of being the only one compromising. The only one making an effort. The only one praying and begging God to change matters. The only one who cared. Being constantly called upon. I had enough being an enabler. Tired of constantly helping to pick up the pieces, just for them to fall in the same place all over again. This is not how relationships should go! There must be a equal give and take!

Due to this revelation, I'm making changes. I'm going to be COMPLETELY SINGLE, no boos, no "friends", no non of that! I'm not going to accept less than I deserve. I'm going to keep my circle of friends small. The only way to remain happy in this world is to realize your worth!  So I'm announcing to the world that Finess Lee Hill has retired from foolishness!

Every relationship, whether: lover, friend, and even family, I'm asking myself... Are they helping to nourish my tree? Are they watering my soul? Or are they just taking shelter and shade without contributing to my tree? I don't know about you,  but I would rather be surrounded but a handful of people who have my best interest at heart,  than a sea of people taking shade while me tree withers away. I'm worth the same love that I give, and will not settle for anything less!

Until next time,
Finess♡♥♡♥

MY Kind of Romance

     Well--we have made it through Spring Fever and Summer Madness (Thank God) and we are now (finally) in the middle of my absolute favorite Season--Autumn!  Autumn blesses us with lovely weather; boots; long walks through golden leaves and cuddling in front of the fire place (to name a few of my favorite Autumn hobbies)!  There are so many lovely things about Autumn and to top it all off it is my first Autumn with Hunny (double the cuddle time)!  And along with all the cuddling, bonfires, hikes, (etc.) burns the brighter than average flame of romance (at least for me).  I don't know what it is about Autumn, but it puts me in a hyper-romantic mood, but--hey I love it (and Hunny isn't complaining either)!  And lucky for me Hunny doesn't mind going along for the ride (or on occasions "driving")!
     I mean Romance is as mutable as Love--it varies from person to person.  Example:  One person may find Game tickets to see their favorite team play their biggest rivals romantic; while another may find a long hike to the top of a mountain at sunrise the most romantic thing ever.  This is why it is very important to get to know your partner and discover exactly what is Romantic for them.  I am happy to share that I am very lucky because my Hunny loves me enough to not only understand and learn what is Romantic to me, but to actually do it.  I will full out (and proudly) admit that I am a quirky woman.  And the other day, I wanted nothing more than to have my hair washed.  I have never asked Hunny to do it before, but for some reason that is what I wanted.  Hunny--being the awesome boyfriend he is actually took the time to do it for me.  He didn't grumble or gripe and to top it all of he took his time and was caring-gentle and diligent.  He asked if I was comfortable with the temperature of the water; how I liked it washed and even if I wanted anything specifically done.  I can not begin to tell you first--how soothing and comforting it was for him to wash my hair, but also how very loved, cared for and special I felt that he would happily take time to do this for me.
     It may seem silly to some, but there was an intimacy and thoughtfulness in every stroke of his hand--every finger along my scalp that turned me into a great-gooey-girly mess.  I was absolutely blissful and content (way less stressed) by the time he finished (he could have asked for the moon and I would have probably given it to him--don't tell him I told you that, though) and I even returned the favor most happily (but I love playing in his gorgeous hair (and he loves when I do too) anyway).  Honestly, sweet thoughts and actions--little things that make me feel special--are very Romantic to me.  Tying my shoe when it is untied; flowers just because you knew they would make me smile; my favorite junk food after I have had a tough day so you can binge and veg out with me; long walks together; a note on my pillow to say you love me; making me lunch and bringing it to my job; surprising me with a day at Tallulah Gorge hiking out to waterfalls or bird watching; an unexpected present (book, movie, perfume, etc.) just because you saw it and thought of me; or even turning off the phone and snuggling up and playing board games and watching movies with me--for me these things are romantic and special.  Romance isn't just about money or fancy dates and vacations--being Romantic or creating Romance can and SHOULD be an every day thing.
     Romance--being Romantic--is more about thoughtfulness and taking time to turn thoughtfulness into action, than anything else.  I have an "Autumn Bucket List" and even though there was a groan from Hunny when I sent it to him after a chuckle he agreed and I can't wait to spend time making new memories with him--trying new things--and enjoying this gorgeous Season!  Day or night when we get the opportunity to have "firsts" together--hold each others' hands and do something different or special I feel loved and cherished and it is so romantically-wonderful that I get all giddy and joyous just thinking about it.  My Romance isn't your type of Romance.  And even if there are similarities there will probably be more differences than not!  I am just so very lucky that my wonderful Hunny loves me enough to share in these moments and indulge in some of my quirkier requests.  So very lucky that my happiness and my sense of Romance being fulfilled is as important to him as his is to me.
     I truly wish that everyone will find that person who holds your happiness above theirs and strives to do everything within their power to make you happy!  There is a beautiful and comforting feeling that comes from that kind of love.  And when you add in the fulfillment of your kind of Romance to that beautiful and genuine love--it is like homemade icing with strawberries on top of the cake!  Well, that is all I have for now.  I wish you all Love and Happiness of the truest kind!
          ~Marissa           

Extraordinary

     What is Extraordinary?  What makes a person, life or experience extraordinary?  Some people have a call--an innate desire--to be extraordinary.  And as most of us with any kind of innate desire know, it becomes one of the most important things in our lives--to fulfill that desire--to achieve that greatness, that extraordinary existence that we just KNOW we are meant to have.  But, I think sometimes we misdirect ourselves because we forget that "extraordinary" can not be classified--it is too mutable to be classified as specifically one kind of situation, state of being or decision.  Maybe this misdirection comes from the fact that as we struggle through this rat race we get so caught up in going and going that we forget that sometimes the most extraordinary things can be the smallest, most simple of things.  Something doesn't have to be record breaking, or world changing to be extraordinary--to make you, or fulfill that desire to be, extraordinary.
     Honestly, stop and think about it.  Extraordinary may be something as difficult, but as simple as ending an unhealthy cycle, i.e.-being the first in your family to finish college; have a happy, healthy, successful marriage; or to never be on welfare.  Extraordinary may be something as natural as being a mother--being able to carry a healthy child to full term, bring them into this world, hold them in your arms and see them take their first breathes.  Have you ever thought that maybe just being who you are is what makes you extraordinary?  Some people are so wonderful, that in being who they are--genuine, kind, supportive, loving, gentle, thoughtful, hopeful, bright, cheery, etc--they are able to have such a  positive impact on others that these people that they touch go on to live the lives they are meant to have.
     There are times, people and situations that will make you extraordinary, but they won't necessarily be newsworthy, or make you rich either.  These moments, people and situations will call you to be yourself, to give of yourself, to help, support or encourage others.  And just because these moments may be small, fleeting, or insignificant to you--they may not be so insignificant to others.  Remember that every day you follow your heart--strive to grow; be true to who you are; embrace and love yourself as well as others; live kindly and honestly--those days and moments make you EXTRAORDINARY.  Never doubt or down play how phenomenal and amazing you are!  Strive to remember your greatness and that you are probably doing something extraordinary every day, but you don't even notice it!

     Remember to take time to appreciate how you have grown and what you have accomplished!  Life is NOT a competition.  It is a journey--so ENJOY IT.  It will have its challenges--let them build you stronger; there will be periods of darkness--let it teach you to have faith and enjoy the light; there will be storms--don't allow them to weather you, be steadfast in who you are.  For at the end of the day you are probably more EXTRAORDINARY then even you realize!  Until another time lovelies I wish you all Love and Happiness of the truest kind!
          ~Marissa

The Great Imbalance

     Although Nessy and I have been rather "quiet" lately, it doesn't mean we have forgotten our blog or fans.  We have both had a lot going on in our lives.  And trust me this is a very good thing.  It means that we are learning, growing, experiencing and living life.  And even though our absence has been short and there were a lot of things that have happened; there is also one--(sadly) glaring fact that has become quite apparent to us both.  We live in a society that perpetuates a great imbalance between men and women.
     I am not being sexiest, bitter or angry when I say this.  It is, quite regrettably,  a cold hard fact.  At one point in time what was important to men was honor, honesty, dependability, intelligence, fidelity,  love, accountability, family and being a good provider, husband and father.  But this is no longer the case.  Now our society encourages individuality over family; irresponsibility over accountability and dependability; money over love; and success over honor and honesty.  We live in a social culture that has been infested with negative ideals that celebrate materialism, excess, degradation, ignorance, greed, dishonesty, and a myriad of  other distasteful and disgusting attributes; practically eliminating the once upstanding and steadfast traditions that were once common place.     
      The continuous breakdown has resulted in men who want to be taken care of; takers; game players; and stagnated individuals who would rather suppress or ignore their shortcomings and "baggage" instead of rallying their courage and putting in hard work to break through and grow past their issues to become better men.  Very few desire to be a true partner, provider, father, husband, friend or lover.  It is like men have become so accustomed to satisfying themselves and their petty and short lived desires that they no longer understand nor do they see the big picture.  They are actually OK with giving bits and pieces of themselves (if anything at all) instead of cultivating themselves (continuously) in order to be a whole person who can engage in stable, healthy relationships.  And on top of all of that most of them believe that women should be satisfied with what little they are willing to do (again, if anything at all)!
     And as a subsequent ripple effect this has pushed women to stand more solidly on their own; to (even when in relationships) rely upon, fight, support and encourage themselves.  They may have a "partner" who exists in their lives, but they still stand alone because their partner isn't supportive, helpful, giving, or protective.  I have heard many women say (of varying cultures and ages) that being married is like having another child to take care of(...)!  Seriously men, do you feel fulfilled being a shell of your former selves?  Is it OK to be considered unreliable, immature and more a hindrance than a help?  Curiously enough I have also heard men of varying ages and cultures complain about not being wanted and women being TOO independent--(again,) SERIOUSLY!!!! You can not have it both ways.  Albeit a relationship isn't always going to be 50/50, sometimes it will be 60/40 or 70/30 and during those times you are supposed to give your partner extra support, love and understanding, but when a relationship is 90/10 or 95/5 then it isn't a healthy relationship--it is a parasitic relationship!
     In every relationship in life, no matter what kind it is, you get what you give!  You set the tone!  If you aren't reliable we won't rely on you; if you lie and/or cheat on us--we will not trust you; essentially if you do not give in return what we give to you freely; if you can not get on the same page with us--we can't (and won't) have a real relationship with you.  (No matter how much we love you--we have to protect ourselves and will not sacrifice our well being to have you in our lives when you take more (or twice as much) as you give!).  Man was not meant to walk alone if he were God would not have made a companion for Adam.  I will also admit that not all men are meant to marry (or women for that matter).
     Relationships aren't all meant to end in marriage with a white picket fence and two point five kids.  But, if you desire to be in a relationship (or eventually to be married and have a family) then men make sure you are ready--that you are on the same page as your partner--and you are in a place to be able to be in a relationship.  I hope men will start taking time to step back and start seeing the big picture again--to become the men they were; leave behind selfishness, lying and irresponsibility and embrace being men of honor, accountability and consideration.  I encourage men to live up to their potential, to correct this great imbalance and bring the world to rights.  I encourage them to achieve their greatness and with the same breath I encourage women to not settle for less than they deserve.  Do not allow someone to only give you bits and pieces when you happily give all of yourself.  Don't settle for an unhealthy relationship (no matter how much you love them) that will end in heartache when you deserve a healthy relationship and a happy ending.  Because the reality of it is--a relationship isn't only about how you feel and treat someone it is more about how someone feel and treats you! 
     Well Lovelies, just some food for thought.  Until another time I wish you Love and Happiness of the truest kind!
          ~Marissa

LOVE--Is More Than A Word

     I know I post a lot about Love, and grant it some of this may seem a bit repetitive--but as it is, Fall is setting in and along with it comes that unfortunate seasonal rut that seems to occur in most relationships.  It seems terribly prevalent during Autumn for guys to get so comfortable that they end up "falling off the Wagon".  So, this has again and again raised the question in mind, heart, soul and conversation--Love--What is Love to you?  Love differs from person to person.  We all have certain Love Languages that touch us more on an emotional level than others.  (If you don't know about your Love Language, why not find out about it at www.5lovelanguages.com !)  And because we all vary so much, it is very important to learn the love language of your significant other in order to understand and be able to show them love in a way that they will not only be able to appreciate, but receive as well.
     I know that Hunny isn't psychic (as most men aren't) and so I strive to communicate with him to help him understand what I need and want as well as to make sure that we are on the same page.  And honestly it isn't always easy.  Not for me--especially because of my past.  But as I am determined to rectify the mistakes of my past and build a healthy relationship I choose to fight against my defense mechanisms.  So instead of running, or throwing up a steel wall, I breathe through my initial fears, hurts and frustrations and sit down to talk with Hunny.  Yet, knowing it takes two people to make a relationship work I can only do so much on my end.  And honestly that is one of the most terrifying facts of Love there is--knowing that I can not make it work by myself.  Simply knowing that my heart, my desire, my Love is not enough to make this relationship work makes it hard not to just run away in sheer terror out of fear of a broken heart because it would be easier--safer.  Knowing that the fate of not only my relationship, but my heart is equally at the mercy of his hands sets my heart trembling with trepidation.  And that is the greatest most difficult part of the gamble.  But, that is when I ask myself not only if this gamble with Hunny is worth it-- but if I will let my past and fears deny me the right ( or deny him the chance) to try again to Love and be Loved.  
     You, see when I choose Love (as with those of us who do) I knowingly choose to gamble my heart with Hunny.  To take a chance that may be this will be my FOREVER Love.  I choose to bestow upon him the gift of Chance to win my heart for all time.  I choose to allow him into my heart and life.  I choose to be vulnerable, available, understanding, patient, kind, honest--essentially I choose to walk, live, breathe Love; for I have learned that it is more than a word (or many words).  Love is in every action and thought of every moment of every day whether the person is right next to you or 1000 miles away.  For when one Loves (truly--purely love) they are elevated (and the relationship they are trying to build) unto another plateau.  But with Love the gamble isn't just in your hand that counts like in black jack--no it is more like spades.  It is about what your partner is holding just as much as what you are.  And at the end of the day you can only do your best and give your best and hope and pray that your partner understands that they are just as responsible for the success or failure to make your "books" as you are.  (Lol, I couldn't resist adding in some spades references!)  And hopefully (seriously) your partner will understand that just like in spades NOTHING is a surety, but a gamble and a chance and if they play their hand wrong, they will LOSE!
     And it isn't just one misplayed hand, but many that result in the ULTIMATE LOSS.  If you try and try to communicate with words and actions, but there is no change in how they play the game; if they are not willing to try to work with you, to build with you, so that you both can win (not just each other but,) together then it may be time to find another partner (no matter how much it may hurt or how much the loss of your old partner would break your heart).  Because a partner that does not trust or listen to you--a partner who isn't receptive or dedicated to you or your gamble (that you make together), isn't a good partner to have.  For every time they disregard you; take you for granted; ignore; hurt or deny you they are rejecting the love, time, hard work and dedication you have poured into your relationship.  They deny you and everything you are working for.  And Ladies and Gents, I know what that feels like.  That sting I have felt too keenly time and time again and it wearies and frustrates me as I know it must do to all those who have felt and do feel it.  It chips away at the partnership, trust, and very hope that your relationship thrives on--until there is nothing left.   
     Essentially we all need to learn and understand the Love Language of our partners; to understand what they require and what your roll in the relationship requires.  Step forward and understand what it takes to make it work and DO what it takes to make it work so you don't lose out.  Remember every time you slip up you give someone else the opportunity to slip in!  And trust me, if you know your partner is wonderful 9 times out of 10 so do a few other people!  Relationships--LOVE-- is about constantly growing TOGETHER.  (And growing to grow together you must both be there next to each other.)  It is about what you put in (and what you put in is what you get out).  You can not constantly take and give nothing.  You can not constantly chip away at the foundation and expect the building to stand!  If you can not or do not or wish not to LOVE then do not torment your partner acting as though you do.
     I hope that we all can make it through the Seasonal curse of Fall and greet Winter with stronger relationships.  Until another time I wish you all Love and Happiness of the truest kind. 
          ~Marissa

Let's Talk About Sex!

     If you think this post is about all my "dirty" little bedroom secrets, well slow your roll because it is NOT!  What this post is about is quite simply--communication!  We have blogged about communication in regards to many different facets in a relationship, but this is our first about communicating in regards to sex.  There can be no trust or intimacy (either physical or emotional) in a relationship--in any facet--if there isn't communication.  Well, how often do you remember to communicate with your partner in the bedroom?
    The only way to enhance intimacy between you and your partner is to show that you are open, receptive and trustworthy.  Nine times out of ten you probably get caught up in the emotions and the actions and before you know it--every thing is basically said and done.  Well whether before, after (or depending on how things are, during) you should take time to communicate with your partner.  If there is something that you really enjoy or really dislike, don't hesitate to let your partner know!  Compliment and verbally appreciate the wonderful things they can do and that you do together, too.  If you are feeling adventurous or curious about something talk with them about it--much more than likely your partner will be supportive and open and you two can venture into new territory together.
     Remember intimacy is important on all levels and this little bit of advice may just lead you to a lot of fun!  It may not be easy, if you aren't used to speaking to your partner about your physical intimacy, but we all must start somewhere.  And I am sure the benefits will be worth the initial hesitancy (or embarrassment) that you may initially experience.
     Remember communication is key to build a healthy and happy relationship--even when it comes to physical intimacy.  What can it truly hurt to try?  Until another time I wish you all Love and Happiness of the truest kind.
          ~Marissa  

Marissas of the World--Unite!

     I remember when I was growing up and only ever knowing of two other girls who shared my name.  One was a few grades under me and the other was one of my mother's favorite actresses, Marisa Tomei.  Outside of us three, I had never known of or met another Marissa.  Honestly it made me a little sad because I couldn't be like the Jenifers, Ashleys or Brittanys in my classes.  I didn't know what it was like to have an automatic kinship with other girls because we shared a name (it was almost like The Ashleys from Disney Channel's animated series, "Recess").  It was rather lonely and of course the more painfully obnoxious children who pointed out how "different" and uncommon my name was, made it so much worse.  Taking into consideration my noticeably unusual appearance and the way I sound I didn't really need one more--well anything to make me stand out, but I had it!
     As I grew older, did some research and realized being the only 'Marissa' in not only my class, but my school wasn't necessarily a bad thing.  My beloved name, 'Marissa', has Latin and Hebrew origins with many different spellings and a couple different meanings, but my favorite is the Latin definition for Marissa which means "Of the Sea".  (Being a true lover of water, the moon and a Pisces it is easy to understand why.)  And with that knowledge of origin, every year that passed I began to fall more in love with my name.  Needless to say by the time I hit college I had so much love for my name that whenever I said it, it would drip from my lips like honey (C'mon say it with me--Ma-RISS-ahhhh, lol)!  SN:  This may also be why I HATE it when people do not say my name correctly or sweetly(Yes I am that emphatic and serious about my name)!
     Now many years after grade school and college a new and unexpected chapter in this story of my name has begun!  It seems as though Marissas have not only grown, but prospered and we are now coming out of the wood works, clawing our way into the sunlight and making sure the world knows we are here!  Marissa's are actresses, models, athletes, musicians, producers, writers, medical professionals, refuge volunteers, and CEO's!  Instead of people knowing one or even none people know multiple ones!  We are as vibrant, unique and memorable as our name!  We are making our mark!  I don't know about every other Marissas (Maressa, Maricia, Marisa, Marisha, Maritza, Mariza, Marrissa, Maryssa, Merissa, Meryssa and Morissa or any other variation in spelling of Marissa), but I feel empowered, encouraged and proud.  And most sincerely quite determined to be one of the great Marissas of the world!
     Okay, I am exiting the roof top and putting down the bull horn.  But you can't blame me for wanting to herald the awesomeness of Marissas!  Until another time Lovelies, I wish you all Love and Happiness of the truest kind!
          ~Marissa

A Letter from a Honest Heart to Her Love

I'm hurt... Abandoned and hurt... Why is it that the ones we love the most hurt us the most? When the world is harsh and cruel, all I want to do is be in your arms; where I am safe and warm. But you are not found. I wanna cry, but the ears will not come. My Heart Guard will not let them out. I wanna throw things and yell, but I cannot move yet alone make a sound. I thought you meant it when you said you'll never leave. I believed you when you told me you'll be good to me. But where are you now? I yearn for you , but you are lost in the sea of people. I believed you, and you let me down. I love you and you're not here to love and comfort me. I am left alone to face this nasty cruel world by myself... without my warmth to keep me going...

I know we have all been there, but the honest truth is that these feeling don't last. If we are honest with our Loves, you very rarely feel this way! But if you Love makes you feel like this more often than not, Beautiful LEAVE! We all deserve someone who will: love, comfort, provide, protect, and stand with us, because we will give them nothing less! So dry your eyes, know that tomorrow will better, and smile that glorious smile!

Until next time, stay open and honest, and love hard!

Finess

I Just Need You!

     I believe that God puts people in our lives for a season, reason or a lifetime.  Some of these people become our Rocks---our Safe Havens.  They become our physical refuge in times of trouble and tribulation.  We all have that one person in our life that fulfills this roll.  And when the storms start to build and we begin to feel ourselves being pushed further out into the dark abyss we turn to our Rocks.  But there are times when our Rocks--our Safe Havens--aren't available.  And when that happens it perpetuates the negative emotions, thoughts and atmosphere that we were trying to find solace from to begin with.  It really adds to the feeling of isolation, frustration and sadness quite exponentially. 
     I know when I find myself in such a situation the only thing I truly want to do is throw myself on the floor bawling my eyes out, kicking and screaming (and throwing things) because I feel like, I try to be self reliant, but when I need my Haven--I NEED MY HAVEN!  It is difficult to be the adult that I am when I want nothing more than to be a bratty, baby about it all!  Maybe I should fuss and yell because when I need my Rock no one else will suffice!  I mean I need my Haven to cuddle, comfort and kiss me!  And even though I love Nessie like a sister she just can't fulfill that role--especially not in that way!  Sometimes the soothing balm of your Haven, the comfort of those arms and that voice are the only things needed to help settle the winds and diminish the fury of the storm you are trying to weather through.  It is impossible to be that kind of physical comfort for yourself.  
     Even though your rock may be the catalyst for the substantial rise of an already bleak and devastating storm this may be all (and most surely is) unintentional.  This is why I truly urge people to realize if they are some one's Rock/Haven and what that means.  Even though we are all adults and life happens and we may not always be able to be there for someone in a physical way--be there for them emotionally or make reparations for faltering.  Because, if I am being quite honest, the hurt of being abandoned by your Rock/Haven is a hurt that runs deep within the heart.  It is an ache that is both physical and emotional and it is a hurt that is difficult to mend.  It causes a crack in the foundation of your relationship and shakes the trust and surety that you have spent so much time and energy to construct.
        Don't hesitate to let them know exactly how their absence affected you.  But do not speak out of a place of hurt that would negatively affect your Rock/Haven.  Remember all the times that your Rock/Haven has been there for you.  And also remember that none of us are perfect, but as long as your Rock/Haven does their best and tries with all of their heart to be there for/with you to help you when you need them--that is what is important.
     Well Lovelies, that is all I have for now.  Until another time I wish you Love and Happiness of the truest kind.
          ~Marissa