You Got Her--Can You Keep Her?

     QUERY:  DO YOU KNOW HOW TO KEEP YOUR GIRL?

     Lately, this has been the question on a lot of women's lips.  From girlfriends to female family members, this discussion has been going on most of last week and this weekend.  And even though WE know what it takes for us to be kept it has become quite apparent that guys-- really just don't!  I mean most women really don't ask for much at all (please review the sneak peak cheat sheet blog posted previously for examples(your welcome))!  If you listen, pay attention and have the ability to empathize then you are quarter of the way there (hooray)!

Here are a few key points for you to remember (in no specific order):

     1.)  Sometimes she wants to just vent about her day/situation/experience and not have you fix her problems (if she wants your help she will let you know(or you can just ask)).
     2.)  She isn't "okay"  even when she says she is "okay" (and okay should never be an acceptable answer to how she feels)!
     3.)  She shouldn't be/feel alone (ever) because it is an honor to call her yours (and if you are going to be constantly M.I.A from her life then you might as well not be in her life at all).

     4.)  NO ONE should make her feel more special or treasured than you (self explanatory)
     5.)  Actions speak louder than words BUT it is even better when they are the exact same(=consistency)
     6.)  Be DEPENDABLE (without dependability there can be no trust)
     7.)  Be supportive (COMPLETELY supportive(especially when she does the same for you without needing to be asked or told)
     8.)  Don't promise change only to never do it (we understand change takes time, but we also know when you don't even start)  this is a fast way to lose your girl.
     9.)   LISTEN (why must we be broken records)!  If she is taking time to tell you then it is important especially when it has to do with you (and/or your relationship).  Don't shut down or you will shut her out and turn her off.
     10.)  See the BIG picture (we KNOW this is a hard one for you)!  Put yourself in her shoes, try and understand or see things not only from her perspective, but also the possible effects or affects of what is going on with her (and/or your relationship).
 
     OR you can just talk to her and ask her what she needs!  I mean seriously, how and why are you afraid to talk to your girl?  I mean what is she going to do, bite you (heck you may like it if she did)?  This list is just a few common "needs" that most women I know seem to have.  But every man should make time to get to know his woman because I guarantee, that she knows you.
  
     We don't expect you to be like us, pick up on things by just paying attention, but we do expect you to care enough that you take an interest in our happiness.  You shouldn't be the reason why we cry, worry, stress or hurt, but why we smile, laugh, blush and relax.  We shouldn't have to encourage you to care or take time or understand, you should want to do this all on your own (if you don't have these inclinations you are either an a*s OR she isn't right for you (or you for her)).  Don't complicate it or make it harder then it needs to be.
     Just a little something for my guys; for my ladies keep your heads up and your hopes high, if he is the right one he will get it.  And (for his sake) I hope it will be sooner rather then later.  Until another time I wish you all love and happiness of the truest kind!

~Marissa