New Addition

     So--I have a list of fictional men that I believe all men should learn from.  It may seem silly but hey I didn't ask you.  Truth be told I think a lot of men would be better off if they chose even two of these men to emulate, but hey that's just my opinion.  I have yet to meet any guy who would undertake such an endeavor.  Anyway, the point I'd me confessing this is to say that I have officially added a new addition to my list.  This, my dear readers, is a very rare occurrence!  I didn't think I would be adding anyone to the list for at least a decade, so imagine my surprise when I finally stumbled across someone worth adding!  Now, without further adieu *insert drum roll here, please* the new addition is LOGAN from "The Lucky One"!
     Now, I'm not adding Logan because of Zack Effron's (sexy and delicious) portrayal of the character, (even though it may be hard to believe) I am adding Logan because of his character attributes.  Logan is honest--really truly honest, sincere, vulnerable, patient, even tempered, selfless, polite, thoughtful (without even being asked to be), observant, calm, level headed and strong.  But he doesn't misuse his strength--he uses it to protect others and at times he uses his strength of presence (and not even his physical strength) to do it.  He doesn't mind hard work, can handle difficult situations with ease and proves to be reliable and brave to boot.  And those are just his general attributes!

     Logan isn't just a very well rounded man on a personal level but on a romantic level as well.  Even though his past is dark and he  is a little broken by it, he didn't run from it.  He understands, takes responsibility for and embraces his experiences and feelings instead of running from them.  He doesn't allow his past to negatively dictate how he approaches/handles his life or relationships.  This enables him to be ready, emotionally available and a steady man.  I absolutely love how he talks to and treats Beth (aka: the very lucky love interest).  He is gentle, understanding and passionate.  He doesn't ever lose his temper with her and is always thoughtful with his words and actions ( I.e. the way he closed the screen door to allow her a safe space while he told her the truth of why he came to Harden).  He supported and protected her without hesitation or needing to be asked.  He cared for Beth and her family, with honor and reverence, all of which made his character insanely attractive and desirable (even more so than his love scenes).  The way he held her, when she needed comfort, touched her when things were "heating up" was an added bonus!
     Nicholas Sparks developed the quintessential, long sought after "perfect" man in this character.  I hesitate to use the word perfect because perfection is impossible to achieve.  And although Logan was wonderful he wasn't perfect.  His ptsd was difficult for him and sometimes his reserve of character could translate over as being ambivalent or even cold, but Logan, this character, is what most women (and I as well) want.  Hence the term perfect, which I do use loosely.  Logan was a good man.  And  that is something that is achievable--something to aspire to be.  His maturity and goodness are what most men are missing.  Too long has the importance of character-gentleness, honesty, reliability, bravery, responsibility, etc. have been over looked and under valued!  That is why chivalry is thought to be dead!  Even though the hopeless romantic in me usually has to fight the jaded-world practical side of me, this character brought both of my warring factions together. 
     So, I hope you will join me in welcoming Logan to The List. And if you haven't pick up the movie--you can thank me for that later!  Until another time I wish you Love and Happiness of the truest kind.

*FOR REFERENCE* The List (in no particular order):  Mr. Darcy ("Pride and Prejudice"), Strider aka: Aragorn (Lord of the Rings), (practically any character and/or a few real life attributes of)--Fred Astaire--Gene Kelly--Carey Grant--Patrick Stewart, Logan ("The Lucky One"), Rick("The Mummy"), Harry Potter(I swear it isn't only because I'm a Potterhead), Rhett Butler ("Gone with the Wind") and Colonel Brandon ("Sense and Sensibility")

Man-Giene

     Okay guys it has been awhile since we tip toed through the tulips together.  I apologize for the neglect and I promise I didnt forget about you--not even for a moment.  So, to prove it I wanted to post a little something for you that I have been sitting on for awhile!  And as you can tell from the title it is all about you and your man-giene! 
     You read that correctly, man-giene, is what the more fashionable men of our world subscribe themselves to every day of their lives.  It is an all encompassing way of life and not an annoying hygienic afterthought and this is what sets them apart!  To you gentlemen, on behalf of the women of the world, I thank you!  Thank you for understanding that the extra thirty minutes you take is not only beneficial and wonderful, but it is also a sign that you take care, thought and pride in to how you present yourself to the world.
     I can't tell you how many uncontrollable and natural head turns have been awarded to these gentlemen because (we can actually tell) you took time to make sure that you were ready to leave your house; say to the world "here I am" and meet it with your best foot forward!  We can see that you moisturize your body, coiff your hair, wear deodorant, brush your teeth and perfectly apply your cologne.  You steam out your pocket squares and ties (which you can tie in Windsor and trinity knots), polish your shoes, trim your facial hair (I love full/Van Dyke beards and handlebar mustaches), and wear tailored suits.  Even on your causal days your outfits are event appropriate, and you coordinate not only your colors but your patterns, perfectly.
     We salute you for being men of both hygienic and fashionable distinction and discernment!  You are all too few and far between.  We appreciate you taking the extra step instead of being like Joe Blow down the street who considers it good to shower twice a week, looks like he rolled in an ash bin, and wears his pants under his butt cheeks!  Thank you for understanding that a man who cares for himself commands respect and consideration on a level that far surpasses those who do not.  Thank you for giving us a reminder and an opportunity to admire the gentlemen you are for it is truly refreshing to our senses. 
    Although this little post has its fair share of humorous quips, I am most sincere in my appreciation as I am sure all women are!  Please continue the "good fight", continue to show this world that there are gentlemen like you left, for we most desperately need it.  Until another time I wish you all Love and Happiness of the truest kind!

Expectations

     When we are little we expect the best--unwittingly, unknowingly, we do.  We expect to be loved, protected, cherished and taken care of.  We expect people to be kind and trustworthy, too.  We are literally born into this world untainted, pure and expectant.  When I think about it, I find it beautiful and even a little sad.
     Depending on your life that crystalline bubble will be broken, for most, sooner rather than later.  Disappointment, doubt, fear and even betrayal soon become reality and the first bitter sweet taste of living rips the proverbial ambrosia from young lips forever changing your world.  Funny, I can remember when my world changed, I was only eight years old.  To this day I remember crying for weeks as the icey coldness of my new reality continued to sting my very soul.  At eight years old, my bubble was broken.  Ironically at nineteen it was completely shattered.  At nineteen my expectations, tinged with reality and a new self awareness, started to change as well.  My expectations became--mine. 
     Let me explain:  My initially broken expectations were that of the world I inhabited.  At a young age I learned that people are people and that parents are people, too.  Doomed to ere and fault.  They can be selfish, neglectful, cruel and ambivalent.  The world was filled with selfish people who didn't care how they made you feel and you had to protect yourself--love yourself.  Instead of expecting the world to be candyland-esque with cotton candy clouds and bubble gum air, I knew that the only thing I should expect was for people to be who they are.  Even in knowing this a small part of me still held expectations of others that I shouldn't have. 
     Well at nineteen I started to have expectations of myself instead, because I finally realized the only person I should expect anything from is myself.  I don't have control or influence over others in this world.  If someone desired to treat me badly, they were going to because that is what they wanted to do.  It didn't matter what I said to them, or if they saw how much it hurt me, they acted how they felt.  My expecting then to be kind or thoughtful wouldn't change how they acted.  It was a complete and utter waste of time and energy to cry over broken expectations and hopes of others.  But I could have high expectations for myself.  You see at the end of the day that is the only person I could have influence and control over--me!
     I started to expect myself not to follow the majority of this existence, but to be better--be true to who I am.  I wanted to experience life, not to wall myself away and shut it out; learn as much as I could and understand as well as I could so that I could connect with myself in this life instead of drifting.  From my self-pectations was born a new determination--and with it came my voice.  Because of my expectations I was determined to live well, build a life of happiness and joy--this gave purpose to my life, a reason to fight--for myself and my future! 
     Even though it wasn't easy to take a stand, most especially with certain family members, I did because at the end of my life as I stand before God I will have to answer for my choices (just me) and I would still have to answer to myself for my regrets!  I'm not perfect and I have and still do fall short, but one thing I don't do is give in.  I have been standing strong for many years now and that isn't going to change--ever!  My life, my expectations and determination, are my own.  I refuse to let anyone try to live it for me or deter me because I have found that the greatest and best expectations I could ever fulfill are the ones I have for myself.
     Until another time I wish you Love and Happiness of the truest kind!

Bravery

     When you hear the word bravery what comes to mind--Fire fighters, cops, military men and women, viking warriors?  How about the person sitting next to you?  Sometimes bravery can be as simple as getting out if bed to face another day.  Other times it is as difficult as standing your ground with someone you love.  Maybe it is being honest with yourself or even starting over to chase your dreams!
     Bravery comes in many different variations.  War zones, burning buildings and shoot outs aren't necessary to inspire bravery in someone, sometimes the every day living of life is enough.  And to those brave souls who wake up in the morning to face another day; find their voice to defend themselves; face their truths; and continue to fight on, I commend you!  I am proud of you, for through the heart ache, barricades, quagmires and darkness of this life you have decided to face it, boldy--directly!  For bravery is not the absence of fear, but the embracing of courage in the midst of it. 
     Even when you stumble or doubt--Infallible human that you are--pride still pours from my heart for you.  Dust yourself off, raise yourself up, hold your head high and continue on, brave ones!  Do not discourage or degrade yourself the world plaques you enough in this way, there is no need to add to it!  Gird your spirits with positivity, faith and hope--fill your heart with unconditional love and honesty.  Continue to build the life you want; live well and concisely and always give your best no matter what! 
     Constant and brave warriors of life fight on!  Let your heart be your champion, your conscience your guide and never extinguish the light of your spirit.  You get but one life to live-a few short years upon this earth- do not waste them! Be brave, always chase your happiness and strive to live well!  Do these things for your sake, so that you may reward the bravery you have chosen to show; for bravery like happiness is a choice!
     Until another time I wish you Love and Happiness of the truest kind!