I'm Awesome

     Yes, that is a very egotistical (albeit honest) title for this new post, but it is so insanely appropriate that I absolutely could not contain my desire to slap it at the very top and let the whole world know what I am feeling inside.  I mean I seriously woke up one day this week and I had a straight Dune moment I swear that I almost ran outside in my onesie and screamed "...the sleeper has awakened" at the top of my lungs!  (Point 1:  If you have never seen the cult classic known as Dune or read any of the books I encourage you to do one or the other IMMEDIATELY!  Point 2:  Yes I have a My Little Pony--Rainbow Dash onesie and I love it (side note:  A Totoro onesie is in my future)!  Now that I have satisfied that tangent I will most definitely get back on the subject of --Me! 
    The sleeper has awakened--everything clicked for me when I got out of bed that day.  The doubt, hesitation, worry, fear, sadness--all of it was gone!  My inner lioness was back and it feels SO GOOD!  I forgot about my wonder, as a woman, daughter, sister, girlfriend, friend, co-worker.  I forgot what I offer as a woman, to the people in my life--those I love--and even who I am.  I am versed enough in this life to understand that there are times when this may happen and I was experiencing one of those. Even so, though I may have been "sleeping", I was also learning. Learning about myself--about others in my life--about living in general.  Yet, even though I was learning--I was also forgetting--which is never a good thing.  But, joyously am I celebrating that time that has passed for me.  And I will continue to shout praises of appreciation for all that I have learned and experienced.  But now it is a new year--it is 2015, y'all and I am about that life! (Please excuse the verbal cliches, but they are just too much fun right now and I can't deny the use of them!)
     So, I have become the embodiment of that old adage, "New year, new me"  because I am NEW!  In so many ways.  I even told my mom there are two words that I am eliminating from my vocabulary this year, "ok" and "fine".  I feel as though they no longer have any place in my life!  I am fantastic, wonderful, blessed, loved--I am so much more than those two words could ever describe.  I will no longer rest on their laurels!  They no longer have power or place in my life!  And I will hold true to this.  Even if my day isn't going beautifully I have so much that can NOT be taken from me that I can only ever be at the very least--blessed.
     I am educated, intelligent, determined, kind, sassy and so fun!  I love my family, new career, new company and my CREW (SHOUT OUT TO THE CREW).  I have a home (and always will for where there is true love, kindness and safety that is where home will be for me), a fantastic new car and so many opportunities set before me that I am so giddy with excitement that I can barely contain myself!  And even though certain relationships aren't all sunshine and lollipops in my life right now, I am still so solid because if the time for my "contract to be renewed" comes up and there isn't a reason for me to renew it--I will become a free agent (may the best franchise win, lol(excuse the football analogy but it was apropos)).
     And all of this is because I AM AWESOME.  I am genuinely a wonderful woman and person.  I am a treasure--a prize--a jewel who through trials and tribulations I have been made stronger, brighter, and priceless.  I have so much to offer, to give, and I am to the point in my life that if what I offer is rejected, unappreciated, abused or taken for granted in any way then there is no reason to continue to give any one (no matter who they are) something they don't understand, desire or deserve.
    I am so thankful for this re-awakening.  I feel as though my light is absolutely uncontainable right now!  And I LOVE IT! :)  I want to encourage all of you to maintain and protect your light.  Let it blossom and grow.  Do not be deterred if it feels as though it is taking forever for it to increase or if you feel as though you are stuck or even if you feel as though every thing you do isn't working out as you have planned.  Something that I learned a long time ago is that everything happens not according to our plans but they happen as they are SUPPOSED to as they are SUPPOSED to.  Be patient--my sleepers--keep faith.  And until another time I wish you all Love and Happiness of the Truest kind!
     ~Always
          Marissa   

What Dreams Are Made of

     What are dreams made of--past, present and future all rolled into one cryptic message that plays out once we shut out the day and quiet the chaos of our minds?  Are they naught but pictures and emotions left hidden from the light in the labyrinth of our subconscious?  Maybe they are a mix of celestial magic and dark desires?  Or are they only our imaginations working their gears while they are most able?  Or could they be fore warnings, premonitions of things to come, or decisions to be made.  Maybe I am putting too much thought into them or maybe--just maybe--I am right.
     You see I dream--frequently--deeply, sometimes in too much detail and at other times things feel so real that I wake up in a state of surreal dissatisfaction as though my dreams were my reality and my reality nothing more than a dream.  (Kind of inception-esque)  Confusing,  I'm sure to some, but for those who have been there I am sure you understand.  And the fact that I, nine times out of ten, remember what I dreamed makes this pondering all the more relevant. How frighteningly wonderful would that be?  How much more credit would we give them, how much more important would they be to us; if we knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that they were more than our over active imaginations running wild?  Would lives be lived differently,  changed drastically?  For that matter would I change drastically if my dreams were more than mere imaginative figments that carry me through my REM cycles?   
     All of these pressing questions could have been born because of the new year.  You see, there are new decisions to be made--steps to take--experiences to have--and with so much at stake amidst a glorious new beginning, these are questions that I am asking myself once more.  Especially when I had a dream about a life I have yet to see,  but it is the life I desire--the life I am striving to build.  And having a detailed glimpse of my hearts desire apparently achieved, how can I not stop and wonder--hope--that they are more than bits and pieces of this and that.    My heart is starting to believe it is so much more.  And with this hope, though partially groundless it may be, I feel a renewed resolve.  There is a confidence and surety, that I hadn't realized I was missing until recently, that had finally found its way back home.  I am reveling in the solid confidence I feel and subsequent happiness that had arrived along with it.  

    I feel that I have come alive again.  Like a phoenix, and I am so excited I can hardly contain it.  NO MORE HESITATION!  My time for resting is over and it is time for me once again to take it all on.  Life feels as though it has been laid out before me in all of its splendor for me to grasp with both hands and I am so ready.  I AM SO READY to make these dreams come true!
     Whatever they are made of;  whether their purpose is great or small indeed, I welcome them. What have your dreams brought to you? What do they mean to you?   I pray that you find your answers or at the very least begin to give thought you them.   Until another time I wish you love and happiness of the truest kind! 
    Always
        Marissa