Admist the Quiet

     I have always fancied myself a night owl.  And not only because I am (most certainly) not a morning person.  I have always found the quiet of the night to be comforting, alluring--peaceful.  Even the beauty of the moon in its various progressions--brilliant stars (twice as vibrant this time of the year) and the sound of virtually nothing is a fascinating delight that never loses its magic for me.  Maybe it is because I live (and most certainly work) in a very noisy world that I sometimes forget the joy and absolute beauty of the silence that seems to only be found in the night.
     It is the time of the day that holds the most magic because everything seems so much clearer without the noise of the more wakeful hours.  It is a time for reflection, meditation, thankfulness, prayers and dreams.  It is during these hours that I breathe easier and feel more "present" than any other.  It amazes me that something as simple as quiet--taking time to sit and enjoy the peace of it--can make such a difference in my state of being.  I have said it many times and I am sure I am not the only one who gets caught up in the "business" of my everyday life that at times I forget about what I find during these hours.  But in those moments that I happen to find sleep absent from my grasp--it strikes me--and before I know it, a practically instantaneous comfort fills me.      
     I am sure you can imagine what an interesting child I was for I didn't fear the night or even the "witching hours", as my family used to call it.  I welcomed it and I still do.  For when it comes--with the gift of (subsequent) quiet it brings with it--I can remember what my day has pushed back from the forefront of my mind.  Ah--sweet clarity--what joy!  And tonight--tonight I have reflected upon the many blessings I have been given and the people who make my life so very special.  My heart is filled with memories and hopes for Hunny and me; thankfulness for Chickateeta and Maman; memories of the Rugrat and Booger and all the fun I have with my friends--the things they have all taught me--and how they have helped me become the woman I am.  I am grateful to God for the gift of these magnificent individuals in my life.  And being able to reflect upon my journey with them reminds me that blessings come in many packages and can be quite simple sometimes too. 
     As you can tell these moments of quiet provide me with the opportunity to renew my eternal balance--in a way--with only a little of my "sleep" time sacrificed.  I encourage you all to find your own quiet time and see what happens!  Who knows what kind of clarity you may find.  As it is, Sleep has finally chosen to show me some favor and my bed is calling me to snuggle down deep into a warm comforter and fluffy pillows.  So, I believe that this will be enough sharing from me for one night.  Until another time I wish you all Love and Happiness of the truest kind!
          ~Marissa     
    

In My Garden

     Hello Lovelies!  I know I have been gone for awhile, but I really needed to take a break and recollect myself.  I needed to remember how to tend to my garden.  Sometimes we get so caught up in life--the running, rushing and general rat race that we all run (to make a paycheck) that we forget to stop, breathe and take time to tend to the most important part of our lives--ourselves.  And truth be told I was so busy being so many things to so many people--spreading myself thin--so much so there was nothing left for me and I was feeling the strain of it all in an unimaginable way.
     With my very being feeling tired and overwhelmed my mind wouldn't quiet--and a feeling of being lost within myself eclipsed everything else.  And I can't begin to explain exactly how the combination of all of this was reeking havoc on me.  One emotion or state of being led way to another and yet another; becoming catalysts unto themselves and creating a seemingly endless cycle--they fed off of each other and I was in great need of getting out my gloves and pulling the weeds that had taken root in my life.  Right now I am still in the process of trying to organize, detox and give myself some much needed love-- unfortunately, like with any garden, it is going to take time and work in order for me to get back to a hundred percent.
     And quite honestly there is no way I can do this by myself--and lucky for me I don't have to.  The out pouring of love and support from Hunny, Chickateeta, friends and co-workers has warmed my heart and reminded me why we shouldn't go through life alone.  I wish I didn't have these painfully human moments, but because of them I am reminded of my blessings; about the people who truly do love and support me; and that sometimes--when overwhelmed--it is OK for others to help you.  That is why we have those special people in our lives.  It is truly during these times (or during their own times of trepidation) that we discover exactly what kind of flowers these people are in our lives--whether they are Seasonal, Perennials or Annuals. During certain trials and tribulations we are able to see exactly what kind of qualities they will bring to our garden and subsequently what kind of longevity they will have as well.
     Maybe that is why times such as this are not only a curse, but a blessing as well.  They can call you back to yourself to cleanse, reevaluate, appreciate and learn.  Obviously I was long overdue and just like I procrastinate on updating my computer (until it does it by itself during the most inconvenient times) I also seemed to have done the same with myself.  I will have to put into practice carving out time for rejuvenation so that I can maintain a healthier Being more consistently than I have been lately.  Well, that is all I have for now.  I can't promise I will have more soon, but I will do my best.  Please learn from my mistake and don't forget to take time to tend your garden because when things become overgrown it is harder to work through your fields.
     Until another time I wish you all Love and Happiness of the truest kind!
          ~Marissa         

Awe To Breath Again

So this week I have reclaimed my life! I feel so alive and accomplished! I can breathe again and really feel again. It's like the stormy cloud of lost love, questioned friendships, and exhaustion of foolishness has finally lifted and I can see the sunny side of life! It feels amazing to get out of that funk I was in!

Sooo, you ask, what did I do this week that made it wonderful? I... did whatever the hell I wanted to! It's so simple, but super hard to do! I went with every whim I had. I didn't hold myself to a constructed schedule; I just woke up and lived! Man does it feel amazing! I stopped worrying about other people. I put myself first and just lived. I stopped trying to figure what was going on with them, stopped being so consumed with their problems; I lived my life and let the pieces fall where they choose to lay. It feels so wonderful; I think this is how I'm going to live my life for now on! No worries!

Ok so on one of my off days this week I found a really cool place to mediate. I know, mediate? But you would be surprised how relaxing it is to sit still and quiet your mind. There's power in a still mind, and I started cultivating mine! Upon entering the Georgia Meditation Center, you immediately get a sense of calm. I met some really nice people there, all very helpful. We had a guided mediation session by an actual Buddhist Monk! (Seriously super cool!) If you ever get a chance to check it out, I seriously recommend it! I feel so aware of myself, in touch with my spirit!

The second adventure I had this week, was a trip to my new hometown square. I moved up to Marietta over a year ago, and honestly have not been anywhere other Wal-Mart, Kroger, and Quick Trip! Sad I know! I was pleasantly surprised! It was gorgeous! It had such a wonderful old town charm to it. Between the fountain in the middle of the square, to the theater and various shops, it was totally worth the 15 minute trip up the road. I found the most delicious Peach Pecan Preserves and Australian meat pies... Yes... Australian meat pies!!!  It's like a savory, meaty, cheesy, flaky crust pie, all in little old Marietta, GA! I wandered in and out do the cutest, quaint shops, looking at homemade goodies and trinkets! And I found an entire section of Dr. Who! Dr. Who!!! My newest TV obsession! I was too thrilled. In all I would also recommend a nice quiet afternoon getting lost in Marietta's square!

It's been such an amazing week! I urge everyone to take back your life!!! Take a moment to breathe! Do exactly what you want, live how you want! Life is too short to be stressed; you miss out on all the fun worrying about everyone else! Live for yourself, because no one else can live for you! Live Live Live!!!

With a light and cheerful spirit,

Finess

A New Lease on Life

You know whats worst than having too little time for something? Having way too much time and nothing to do!

So here I am, twiddling my thumbs, just a little brain numb from catching up on EVERY show I've missed since the invention of cable. Ugh this is not how my life should look!  It doesn't feel right! I feel so lost in the sauce! Now that I have settled in my new position at work and have enjoyed my new found free schedule... I NEED TO FIND A LIFE!!!!

And that is exactly what I'm going to do! And I'm going to take you guys along with me! The more the merrier!  And hopefully I can encourage someone out there to start having adventures outside of the house too! :-)

So here is the list of all the things I find interesting, and each off day that I have, I will incorporate something off my list! If you have an suggestion on something I should try, please let me know!!!

My Interests
-FOOD: Cooking and Eating
-Meditation
-Boss (my dog)
-Walking
-Dancing
-Reading
-Arts and Crafts
- Shopping
-Traveling

So cheers to the many adventures that await me! And a second shot for the ones you'll have! Can't wait to share stories!
Until next time... FIND A LIFE!

Finess

You Come First

So lately I've been quite silent, and I truly apologize for that! Where some need to talk and vent or even have a drink or 5, I need space; time alone between myself and my creator. I resort to my safe haven when the sea of our world makes me a little seasick.

After counsel with Him and reflection,  I realized the root of my unhappiness. Guess what?  Like most problems, it started with me. I was allowing those who I cared for the most mistreat me. I was putting their best interest before mine, and not receiving the same in return. I'm not saying that being there for others and occasionally putting their needs before your is a bad thing, but there comes a time when that gift is misused and mistreated. More often than not, it's the ones that we care for that abuse it. It's hard, I know, to find that line where enough is enough, but I found mine and you will discover yours when its time.

I had enough of giving 110% and only getting 5%. Enough of being the only one compromising. The only one making an effort. The only one praying and begging God to change matters. The only one who cared. Being constantly called upon. I had enough being an enabler. Tired of constantly helping to pick up the pieces, just for them to fall in the same place all over again. This is not how relationships should go! There must be a equal give and take!

Due to this revelation, I'm making changes. I'm going to be COMPLETELY SINGLE, no boos, no "friends", no non of that! I'm not going to accept less than I deserve. I'm going to keep my circle of friends small. The only way to remain happy in this world is to realize your worth!  So I'm announcing to the world that Finess Lee Hill has retired from foolishness!

Every relationship, whether: lover, friend, and even family, I'm asking myself... Are they helping to nourish my tree? Are they watering my soul? Or are they just taking shelter and shade without contributing to my tree? I don't know about you,  but I would rather be surrounded but a handful of people who have my best interest at heart,  than a sea of people taking shade while me tree withers away. I'm worth the same love that I give, and will not settle for anything less!

Until next time,
Finess♡♥♡♥

MY Kind of Romance

     Well--we have made it through Spring Fever and Summer Madness (Thank God) and we are now (finally) in the middle of my absolute favorite Season--Autumn!  Autumn blesses us with lovely weather; boots; long walks through golden leaves and cuddling in front of the fire place (to name a few of my favorite Autumn hobbies)!  There are so many lovely things about Autumn and to top it all off it is my first Autumn with Hunny (double the cuddle time)!  And along with all the cuddling, bonfires, hikes, (etc.) burns the brighter than average flame of romance (at least for me).  I don't know what it is about Autumn, but it puts me in a hyper-romantic mood, but--hey I love it (and Hunny isn't complaining either)!  And lucky for me Hunny doesn't mind going along for the ride (or on occasions "driving")!
     I mean Romance is as mutable as Love--it varies from person to person.  Example:  One person may find Game tickets to see their favorite team play their biggest rivals romantic; while another may find a long hike to the top of a mountain at sunrise the most romantic thing ever.  This is why it is very important to get to know your partner and discover exactly what is Romantic for them.  I am happy to share that I am very lucky because my Hunny loves me enough to not only understand and learn what is Romantic to me, but to actually do it.  I will full out (and proudly) admit that I am a quirky woman.  And the other day, I wanted nothing more than to have my hair washed.  I have never asked Hunny to do it before, but for some reason that is what I wanted.  Hunny--being the awesome boyfriend he is actually took the time to do it for me.  He didn't grumble or gripe and to top it all of he took his time and was caring-gentle and diligent.  He asked if I was comfortable with the temperature of the water; how I liked it washed and even if I wanted anything specifically done.  I can not begin to tell you first--how soothing and comforting it was for him to wash my hair, but also how very loved, cared for and special I felt that he would happily take time to do this for me.
     It may seem silly to some, but there was an intimacy and thoughtfulness in every stroke of his hand--every finger along my scalp that turned me into a great-gooey-girly mess.  I was absolutely blissful and content (way less stressed) by the time he finished (he could have asked for the moon and I would have probably given it to him--don't tell him I told you that, though) and I even returned the favor most happily (but I love playing in his gorgeous hair (and he loves when I do too) anyway).  Honestly, sweet thoughts and actions--little things that make me feel special--are very Romantic to me.  Tying my shoe when it is untied; flowers just because you knew they would make me smile; my favorite junk food after I have had a tough day so you can binge and veg out with me; long walks together; a note on my pillow to say you love me; making me lunch and bringing it to my job; surprising me with a day at Tallulah Gorge hiking out to waterfalls or bird watching; an unexpected present (book, movie, perfume, etc.) just because you saw it and thought of me; or even turning off the phone and snuggling up and playing board games and watching movies with me--for me these things are romantic and special.  Romance isn't just about money or fancy dates and vacations--being Romantic or creating Romance can and SHOULD be an every day thing.
     Romance--being Romantic--is more about thoughtfulness and taking time to turn thoughtfulness into action, than anything else.  I have an "Autumn Bucket List" and even though there was a groan from Hunny when I sent it to him after a chuckle he agreed and I can't wait to spend time making new memories with him--trying new things--and enjoying this gorgeous Season!  Day or night when we get the opportunity to have "firsts" together--hold each others' hands and do something different or special I feel loved and cherished and it is so romantically-wonderful that I get all giddy and joyous just thinking about it.  My Romance isn't your type of Romance.  And even if there are similarities there will probably be more differences than not!  I am just so very lucky that my wonderful Hunny loves me enough to share in these moments and indulge in some of my quirkier requests.  So very lucky that my happiness and my sense of Romance being fulfilled is as important to him as his is to me.
     I truly wish that everyone will find that person who holds your happiness above theirs and strives to do everything within their power to make you happy!  There is a beautiful and comforting feeling that comes from that kind of love.  And when you add in the fulfillment of your kind of Romance to that beautiful and genuine love--it is like homemade icing with strawberries on top of the cake!  Well, that is all I have for now.  I wish you all Love and Happiness of the truest kind!
          ~Marissa           

Extraordinary

     What is Extraordinary?  What makes a person, life or experience extraordinary?  Some people have a call--an innate desire--to be extraordinary.  And as most of us with any kind of innate desire know, it becomes one of the most important things in our lives--to fulfill that desire--to achieve that greatness, that extraordinary existence that we just KNOW we are meant to have.  But, I think sometimes we misdirect ourselves because we forget that "extraordinary" can not be classified--it is too mutable to be classified as specifically one kind of situation, state of being or decision.  Maybe this misdirection comes from the fact that as we struggle through this rat race we get so caught up in going and going that we forget that sometimes the most extraordinary things can be the smallest, most simple of things.  Something doesn't have to be record breaking, or world changing to be extraordinary--to make you, or fulfill that desire to be, extraordinary.
     Honestly, stop and think about it.  Extraordinary may be something as difficult, but as simple as ending an unhealthy cycle, i.e.-being the first in your family to finish college; have a happy, healthy, successful marriage; or to never be on welfare.  Extraordinary may be something as natural as being a mother--being able to carry a healthy child to full term, bring them into this world, hold them in your arms and see them take their first breathes.  Have you ever thought that maybe just being who you are is what makes you extraordinary?  Some people are so wonderful, that in being who they are--genuine, kind, supportive, loving, gentle, thoughtful, hopeful, bright, cheery, etc--they are able to have such a  positive impact on others that these people that they touch go on to live the lives they are meant to have.
     There are times, people and situations that will make you extraordinary, but they won't necessarily be newsworthy, or make you rich either.  These moments, people and situations will call you to be yourself, to give of yourself, to help, support or encourage others.  And just because these moments may be small, fleeting, or insignificant to you--they may not be so insignificant to others.  Remember that every day you follow your heart--strive to grow; be true to who you are; embrace and love yourself as well as others; live kindly and honestly--those days and moments make you EXTRAORDINARY.  Never doubt or down play how phenomenal and amazing you are!  Strive to remember your greatness and that you are probably doing something extraordinary every day, but you don't even notice it!

     Remember to take time to appreciate how you have grown and what you have accomplished!  Life is NOT a competition.  It is a journey--so ENJOY IT.  It will have its challenges--let them build you stronger; there will be periods of darkness--let it teach you to have faith and enjoy the light; there will be storms--don't allow them to weather you, be steadfast in who you are.  For at the end of the day you are probably more EXTRAORDINARY then even you realize!  Until another time lovelies I wish you all Love and Happiness of the truest kind!
          ~Marissa