Love!?!

Hi there Blogger World!

It’s been a minute since we have last shared words. Life has been taking me on a journey of love, loss, hope, fears, and countless emotions. I am not going to report that God has brought me a fairy tale love story, but nevertheless, I have some new ideas about love to share, so let’s get started.

Love… it’s not all roses! (Lol, but I think we all know that) I once thought once you experience that spark, that’s it, end of story! He loves you for who you are, you find your soul mate, kisses, puppy dogs, rainbows, and sunshine. LOL, boy was I wrong! Love is hard, its work! Love doesn’t let you choose who you fall for, and despite your deepest efforts, you cannot change it! Love doesn’t guarantee that the person you fall for will love you back, nor does it guarantee that they are ready to return your feelings.

But… I have learned to trust to my heart to God and hope for the best. Love changes people, it changes ourselves. Love has taught me how to truly be patient, to not stand in my own way, and let it happen to me when the time is right. We all have a love story to share, and it’s up to us to actively wait for it. This means not sitting and complaining about not having a man. We are all gifted and while are waiting for God to bring us our loves, we should be focusing on developing our gifts for the greater good. We would all be surprised at how happy and attractive we are when we stop being negative and complaining, and start living positive patient lives!

Till next time, much love and patience to all,

Finess

Divorcee Dating Saga Part Sept/ My Hunny

PREVIOUSLY WRITTEN

     Hunny makes me feel like I am in college again.  (I say college because that was my first taste of freedom and where I was able to begin to know myself.)  He makes me feel free and safe simultaneously.  I am free to be myself completely and even though he chuckles or teases me (sweetly) he supports my 'me'-ness.  And what thrills me to no end (most sincerely and seriously it does)  Hunny says that I am perfect just as I am.  The cherry on top is he doesn't just say it he believes it and treats me like he does.  I love that!

     Just as much as I love how he makes a not so great day rather wonderful because my happiness is important to him.  His genuine concern for my happiness and well being makes me feel so loved it is thrilling (and new).  I love that he matches my affection and passion it is intoxicating!  And having someone who reciprocates completely is unbelievably, undeniably, wonderful (a true blessing).  I don't remember the last time I have met my relationship match (if ever).  Most of them were honestly (and quite sadly) one sided in one way or another.  Even my first relationship with Hunny wasn't evenly matched.  But now, well now, we are and I am so in love--I am so in love with him and us that I think some of my friends may O.D. on the "contact" of our love (bwahahahaha)!  

     Truly I am so happy and getting to know and love the man he has grown into is just--magical--(I am so happy in our love that if I could poop rainbows I would).  Well enough sharing (at least for now).  I wish you all love and happiness of the truest kind.

          ~Marissa

Art of Seduction Part 4/ Undress Me

PREVIOUSLY WRITTEN:

     I believe the title is self explanatory so let's jump right in!  Don't underestimate the art of undressing your lover (but, I think paramour sounds more romantic, don't you).  Now as you guys know I am an advocate for clothes flying; hands in hair; teeth on skin; hot and heavy passion, but one should never underestimate the power of taking time to slowly disrobe the object of your passion!  AND as a special treat I am going to take time to "illustrate" why this is true (DISCLAIMER:  Suggestive Material Below):

     "...He closes the door and turns to look at you.  Your lips are still swollen from the deep probing kisses that he placed upon your mouth, intoxicating you to the point of enticing dizziness!  A knowing smile spreads across his lips as he comes closer, quietly and slowly eliminating the distance between your bodies.  A finger tip traces up your arm and slowly encircles the straps of your dress, a gentle tug sends the thin bits of satin sliding down to the bend of your elbow.  Hot lips kiss across your shoulder to your collar bone--A slight nip upon your neck almost feather light, sends shivers down your spine.  You watch frozen in physical rapture, as his other hand repeats the journey of the first, his mouth blazing a hot path to the other side repeating the same slow and decadent torture as before.

     You quiver, your hands finding the buttons of his shirt, separating them from the holes, creating an opening where your seeking fingers skim over the firm smoothness of his skin--setting him aflame, urging him to undress more of your flesh.  A sigh escapes your lips as your dress hits the floor and he whispers, "You are beautiful--perfection."

     You tug his shirt from his shoulders and he takes your mouth again in a searing kiss.  Pulling you close, your flesh against his, unhindered--there is a moment where your breath catches in your chest and as your eyes meet--his hands seductively dances up and down your spine..." (<-----Original Excerpt(now what was your argument for rushing?))

     The restraint in and of itself adds fuel to the fire and that flame will blaze even brighter as you take time to touch, kiss and caress with every piece of clothing that you slowly peel away revealing more glorious and decadent flesh to taste and explore.  Undressing is a beautiful way to entice and tempt one another and I encourage everyone to take time to do it.  Trust me it will be worth your time.  (Or was the excerpt you just read not enticement enough?)

     If you still think there is no reason to take your time, then maybe you should just try it!  Until another time I wish you all Love and Happiness of the Truest kind!

         ~Marissa

Misery Loves Company (But I don't Love Misery)!

PREVIOUSLY WRITTEN:

     Why are miserable people so anxious to spread their misery?  More over why do they not exert that same energy into making themselves happy instead?  Trying to drag people down into the murky misery just makes the mire so much danker and filthier and lonelier than before!  Being miserable is like vinegar and salt in an open wound!  It isn't inviting or comforting or healing.  It is a toxic, tragic and stagnant existence that dooms all who choose to remain ensnared in its sticky web.

     Honestly I don't understand and I don't want to, but I want to ask, "Why do you waste time wallowing in misery instead of pulling yourself out of it?".  The only way to get out of misery is to fight and climb and fight (some more) yourself out.  No matter how much love and support is given to a miserable person at the end of the day they can only save themselves.
     We should say an extra prayer for the miserable.  I am sad for them.  But I will not let their misery contaminate me nor be sucked into the mire either.  Happiness is (9 times out of 10) a choice.  It isn't easy, you have to work to be happy, but it is worth it--and it is most certainly MY choice!

     Well, enough venting for now!  Until another time I wish you all love and happiness of the truest kind!

          ~M

Hog Tied/Query

PREVIOUSLY WRITTEN

     Question:  How (if ever the decision is made to) does one talk to a friend about their (God awful) significant other--who is (at best) the pebble in the (collective group of friends') proverbial shoes?  I mean (with absolutely no sarcasm or embellishment) when the other person is so awful that everyone dreads their presence because they know that they will be faced with a disrespectful and malicious terror, should something not be done?  And what's worse is when this Terror isn't just awful to their significant other, but to the collective group as well.

     There is never a situation where the Terror doesn't leave half of the people with a bad taste in their mouth and the rest running for the exits (ok, that was a little facetious)!  How does one address this?  Is the (much more than possible) fall out worth it?  I mean seeing a friend go through so much with the Terror one can't help feeling bad for them, yet how much must the collective endure as they try to support the friend (through such a tragic relationship)?  The collective desires the happiness of their friend, to see them with someone wonderful, but when the friend connects themselves with a Terror the  lines start to mingle where friendly advice ends and obnoxious opinions begin...

     What a conundrum to be caught in!  What should the collective do, if anything at all?  Oh well, more to ponder--hopefully an answer will come!  Until another time I wish you all Love and Happiness of the Truest kind!

          ~M

Frogs Aren't Princes

     PREVIOUSLY WRITTEN:

     The hardest lesson a woman will ever learn is how to walk away from a "frog" she loves.  Now don't judge me too harshly for calling (some) men frogs, but for me (again OUR blog, MY post) that  is exactly what wrong guys are, "frogs".  As women of the modern world we all expect to kiss some frogs, but fall in love with them, that's another story!  (Again, we can't control who we love!)  Falling in love with a frog is a dangerous thing because no matter how many times you "kiss" them (AKA:  wait, excuse; cry over; apologize for, etc) they will never (EVER) be princes because they don't have the ability to be.  No matter how much you love, sacrifice, support or help them (sadly) it doesn't matter--they are what they are.
    Now don't mistake "enchanted" (AKA:  "broken") princes for frogs.  THEY ARE NOT THE SAME THING!!  An enchanted prince has gone through many trials and unfortunately a wicked witch or two (although ultimately defeated) have left their curses upon them.  It takes a strong prince and a brave princess ("I am a princess--all girls are!"(ten bucks if you can name what movie that quote came from)) to break the "spell", but that in and of itself is very difficult (a true quest(especially when it has more to do with the prince than the princess)), but not impossible.  Sometimes good magic happens.  remember ladies a prince is a prince (broken or not) you just have to learn the difference between a prince and a frog.
     We can't date on potential alone--we can't keep frogs when we deserve princess!  Sometimes we just have to come to terms with the fact that we care/love/in love with someone who either isn't ready; isn't worthy or both.  There comes a time in these situations, where you have to accept and acknowledge how you feel while you separate yourself so you can walk away from an unhealthy relationship/situation.  Just because you walk away doesn't mean that you are trying to (or will) stop loving your frog it only means that you love yourself enough to protect your heart and happiness.  It is never easy walking away and resigning yourself to live with love your heart holds for your frog, but in the long run it is less damage to heal from.
     Even though I used "silly" analogies this subject is still quite serious and real--just something for y'all to think over!  Well until another time I wish you love and happiness of the truest kind.
          ~Marissa

Not All Heroes Wear Capes

PREVIOUSLY WRITTEN

   

      As most of you either know or gather by now, I work in a hospital--you may NOT know how many super heroes I work with on a daily basis.  (No, I am not talking about the M.D.'s, either.)  I am talking about the R.N.'s and PCT's!  They are the unsung heroes of the hospital.  These are the people on the front line dealing with explosive diarrhea and vomiting; placing Foleys and IVs; explaining/managing meds;  spending their lives making sure the patients are as clean and comfortable as possible.
     They have decided to dedicate their lives in service of others combative, confused, contagious or otherwise.  They keep up the spirits of their patients, families, fellow staff and even the M.D.'s.  They deal with medical, emotional and mental situations playing doctor, shrink and psychologist all at the same time--for multiple people 12 hours a day almost EVERY DAY.  They do what they do not for money, accolades, or awards, but because it is an innate desire they have to care for others (and you full well know what a rare attribute that is)!  They are happy healing and comforting the ailing, hurt and sick who walk through their doors.  It takes a special kind of person to be a nurse or pct.  A special kind of person to do what they do for a living!  Doctors are not the only healers so remember to go out and hug a nurse/pct today!
     Until another time, I wish you all love and happiness of the truest kind!
          ~Marissa

Boxes and Time Lines?

     Question:  Why do we work so hard to pile ourselves (and our lives) into tight, perfectly symmetrical boxes?  More over why do we add additional restrictions by implementing (self wounding) time lines?  WAKE UP!  CONTROL IS AN ILLUSION AND CONFORMITY A CRIME!  Trying to plan every moment, experience, facet and detail just so it will fit in to what you believe will be acceptable by others/society isn't living!  It isn't even existing.  If we are honest with ourselves we all have moments where we get caught up with confining--oops--I mean conforming ourselves into ideals that truly aren't ours.  By doing this you aren't paving a path toward your happiness, but AWAY from it!
     If you are in love--run with it!  Don't try to confine it to unnecessary conventions!  You don't have to deny what you feel or try to slow it down because you believe that certain things are supposed to happen at a certain time or in a certain way for it to be right (or you are worried what others will say or think)!  Every relationship--every love--is different so stop trying to stuff it in the same box.  Or if you are interested in spreading your wings and trying a new occupation or hobby, then go for it!  You are never too old or too young (it is never too early or too late) to chase your dreams and pave the way to your happiness!  Embrace life, don't suffocate it.  Life is entirely too short to be unhappy trying to make others happy just because (it is what is expected of you to do by them and/or society)--don't sacrifice your happiness by lying to yourself and compromising your hearts desires; at the end of it all you will only be left alone with your regrets.
     We have to STOP letting other people's "music" bleed over into our lives.  We need to listen to our own symphonies, the lyrical magic that we create for ourselves--within ourselves.  We need to stop letting our tempo be drowned out by the noise of others' voices.  Let's move forward and learn how to dance to our music again; allow ourselves to experience the God given freedom to be who we are and enjoy it!  Let's stop conforming (across the board people, not just here and there)!  God made us all different for a reason!  Let's embrace and celebrate our uniqueness. 
     Think about it y'all, seriously think about it and don't cheat yourself!  Until another time, I wish you all love and happiness of the truest kind!
     ~Marissa     

Love--It Varies

     After an interesting conversation with one of my girlfriends last night I was inspired to write this post.  Although she isn't the first person I have had this conversation with I would be lying if I didn't admit to my surprise at her surprise when I pointed out that love has many variations and differs from person to person; relationship to relationship.  C'mon y'all think about it!  Love has many variations because not only do our relationships differ, but the people we have relationships with differ as well.  The way you love your mother differs from the way you love your sister; which differs from the way you love your friends; which differs from the way you love your significant other.  Even if you wanted to compare the way you love within one group there are still variations.
     (Stay with me now) Example:  Everyone (and I do mean everyone (don't lie to yourself)) has a favorite parent, sibling, grandparent, aunt, cousin, etc. that they have bonded with (and love) more than other equivalent members of their family.  The love is different, the way you treat, see, communicate and think of them is (subsequently) different because of it!  You know it is true!  Even when it comes to romantic love (or probably more so) it is the same.  Each relationship is different.  Different connections, bonds, are made which form different levels of emotion, attraction, affection and love.  So you may love your 1st significant other with all of your heart, but you may discover later in life that you love your 4th more than your 1st because a deeper bond was made.  You didn't lie when you said that you loved your 1st with all of your heart, because you did.  You loved them with all the love that connection created within you for that person.  But the deeper bond with your 4th significant other encouraged a new range and depth of emotion and love that didn't exist in your relationship with your 1st significant other.  So you can say that you love your 4th with all of your heart and both statements are still very true.
     We can't compare how we love one person (no matter the relationship) to the way we love another because they are DIFFERENT.  Even if it is the same type of relationship it is still a different person!  Unless you repeat a relationship with the same person then there is no comparison to be made.  Just because the love you had for one person developed/presented itself one way doesn't mean that it will come about in the same order, fashion or circumstance with someone different.  (I told you there were a multitude of variations in love)  Don't expect every love you experience to be slow burning or white hot for that matter.  And count yourself lucky that it isn't.  If love were the same for everyone you loved or fell in love with what would you truly learn or experience for that matter.  How boring would that be?  Being able to experience fully the variations of love is a blessing.  I believe it teaches you a lot about yourself and the world.  What a wonderful surprise to experience the depths and magnitudes of love!
    (Just think about it for awhile) I hope you do realize that none of this is something you have control over (control is an illusion, after all) because you can not control something as powerful, as elemental and infinite (nor should you) as love!  The best thing you can do is learn to give and receive love; to appreciate and cherish it.  Don't try to shove it in a box or twist it into something that it isn't because then it becomes tainted and nothing good ever comes from tainted love.  Start bringing yourself up to the level where you can embrace love in its glorious purity, instead of dragging it down to you.  (Trust me the world becomes a different place when you do!)  Remember love is a gift from God ("...above these is love...").  Don't tarnish something so beautiful, seek to be worthy of it instead!
     Consider this a friendly observation/reminder.  Until another time I wish you all love and happiness of the truest kind!
     ~Marissa 
    

Cloud Nine/Divorcee Dating Saga Part Six

     (Throwing on my Captain Obvious Cape) I am on cloud nine, my boyfriend is just--wonderful and he really does make me happy (as though you couldn't tell from my posts, right).  Hunny makes me want to sing at the top of my lungs and cheer from mountain tops a riotous chorus of elation.  The only thing that makes me sad is--we don't get to spend as much time together as we would like (#grownupproblems)!  It is so hard trying to coordinate two individual's work and social calendars!  Add to that the distance we live from each other and we get two days a week (if we are lucky) to spend together!  I really wish that I worked a more normal schedule or that we lived closer to each other because it would be so much easier for us to see each other, but wishing doesn't change the facts so--I blame HUNNY!
     I blame Hunny for making me miss him so much.  It is his fault that I want him around and I hate not having him with me to cuddle every night and kiss every morning!  I love that he tries to make every moment we do have together insanely lovely, no matter what we do, because that is endearing all on its own.  He makes sure that we do get to cram as much QT as we can in the few hours we do get together, though.  It means so much that this is important to him (it makes me feel treasured, see it is not hard at all, guys)!  I know they say that absence makes the heart grow fonder, but it also kinda saddens, too (like a lot)!  I mean SERIOUSLY!  I WANT MY HUNNY (*Insert foot stomping, whining, two year old tantrum, here*)!
     Even though the lack of Hunny and Bunny (his nickname for me, isn't it precious) QT makes me sad (miss him so much) the fact that we both try our best encourages me when it gets super difficult (and I also sleep in his shirt during those times).  Sometimes we may have to sacrifice some social engagements, rearrange our schedules but for me (and Hunny, too) it is worth it (he is so worth it)!  Hopefully it will get easier or something will change that will enable us to be together more.  Until then we have as much fun and make as many memories as we can!  As long as we still miss each other and cherish our time together I believe we are on the right track.
     Well enough sharing for one post!  Until another time I wish you all love and happiness of the truest kind!
    ~Marissa

Thank You, Very Much

     Most of my life the majority of my friends have been--guys (don't most girls say this, though).  I mean I would have a few girlfriends here and there that I was very close to, but in college (in our varying "groups" of friends) there were usually 2 to 4 girls in a group of 7 to14 guys!  It just sort of happened that way although I have always felt that guys are just more fun because there is less hassle hanging out with them; far less hassle than hanging out with a lot of girls (outside of my girlfriends in the group, who are and will always be awesome).  I was truly committed to this belief for the longest time--until I started working at my new job (not really that new anymore, but still...).
     I have had the privilege to meet some of the most genuinely wonderful and sincere women ever in life, working at the hospital!  They are so fantastic it was rather hard for me to believe that so many of them could work at the same place (talk about mind being boggled).  And I have been luckier still to become close to quite a few of them, close enough to call them friends.  Although this blog isn't life changing or anything like that I did want to post a 'Thank You' to three of them in particular.
     The first is to my girl (my new bestie) Nessie.  She is so youthful and fun yet very straightforward and dependable.  It is a wonder to watch her growing more fully into her womanhood (she loves to remind me how old I am, lol) and see her developing into this fantastic, well rounded woman!  Nessie is a true and steadfast friend who I cherish dearly.  Even though she is still young there is one thing that stands out above all else with her--I have never met a woman who embodies (positive and healthy) self confidence and love as much as Nessie!  She is teaching me to see the beauty in myself again and to not only cherish it, but celebrate it.  This is a priceless lesson (or should that be, "refresher course") that she has given me and I can never fully pay her back for that.  I truly do love her like a sister and like a sister she encourages and supports me.  She has since the beginning of our friendship and I am sure she will continue to throughout the years.
     The next is to my fabulous Su-Su!  Su-Su is phenomenal!  She is encouraging, kind, funny, resilient, supportive and a good listener (to name a few things).  Also a divorcee she is a never failing source of advice and support for me.  Su-Su gives me hope!  She showed me that there can be life and happiness after divorce during a time where I thought and felt otherwise(one of the reasons why I always say that I want to be like her when I grow up, lol).  She is always thoughtful and understanding and took time to talk with me about what I was going through (she still does).  Su-Su helped me, to save myself, through a really difficult period in my life.  Again, saying 'Thank You' isn't enough and I wish I could repay her for being such a fabulous woman and wonderful friend!  Her never ending strength and gentle heart encouraged me (again, still does) when little else did or could.  She is a woman that I truly do admire and look up to.
     Last, but most certainly not least is Amel-lionaire (lol) or Mela!  Mela has a gentle, sincere, but joyous and playful spirit.  She taught me (again, another "refresher course") to enjoy myself and being a woman all over again!  She always encourages and inspires me (and many others, trust me) to make time to do the "girl-y" things and enjoy the h*ll out of life!  She can (and does) make any situation fun and ensures that amazing memories will be made (and captured).  She helps me to find the fun and joy in everyday life.  I swear I have never met anyone whose lightheartedness was contagious!  I aspire to retain that kind of spirit all of my life and this is all because of Mela!  She is truly a darling and most beloved friend.  I adore her and would happily bring out my gangsta side fa' ya'(lol)!  There are few others that I would happily get in trouble with, than Mela!
     These three lovely and phenomenal women were brought into my life during a very sad and dark time.  I truly was struggling--well I was struggling with so much when I met them.  They were (and still very much are) blessings in my life.  Without them I believe--no, I KNOW that I would not be where I am today; not without their constant encouragement, support and friendship.  Thank you, my lovelies, from the bottom of my heart for being so amazingly wonderful and good!  You encourage and inspire me still to this day and will continue to do so, I am sure, for a very long time to come.  You helped me to find the light in the darkness and find my path again, too.  As long as I breathe you will have my love, support and friendship.
     Thank You!
     Marissa