The NeverEnding Battle

Am I the only one out there who has this Neverending battle within themselves? I know what side i want to win. I try to sway the results, but it seems to be in vain. The fighting goes on and on and on.

I'm talking about the desire to love and be loved waging ware against my evolutionary need to stay sane and survive.

I want love. Real love. Stuff my grandparents had. Love that lasted more than a couple of months. The love that sweeps you off your feet and makes you certain there is a God. The love that never quits. The one that keeps couples glued to one another for decades. The one that survives all of life's milestones: marriage, children, retirement, grandkids, great great grand kids. The one that makes waking up everyday to that special person worth every hardship you have faced together. You know, just simple and real love.

And though my heart and soul desires this real love, my practical side has that all too familiar guard up. I have been hurt so many times by men who claim to love me. I have men lie to my face while trying to use me. I have invested many feelings, hopes, and dreams into little boys who just want to get a taste of my body. So how can a girl not be skeptical of any new man who walks in selling big dreams of grandeur? I was meant to survive, to succeed, to thrive, and by all means I will! But this need to love seems to be in contradiction of what love looks like in my generation.

So how do you decide which side wins? And my friends I honestly do not know. I feel like I can never get my hopes up in fear of getting hurt again, but the romantic dreamer inside of me wants to wish that this man is finally the one. I can stop this horrible dating game and be a happy married old lady! I don't want to give up on love, like so many people I have come across, but I am starting to become tired of picking up and mending the pieces of my heart that have been chipped away over the years!

So if any of you guys have an answer to how to end the Neverending war, Please Share!

Much Love!

-Finess... Aka Tired and Weary Soldier 

V Day Date Night!

     Okay y'all, since I am still trying to defeat whatever bug I picked up at work (hazards of the career I love is more than worth it though) I thought that I would be productive and fulfill my promise to finish another blog for you guys before Valentine's Day!  This one is just as important as the first one I put up this week and also just as relevant!  Valentine's Day is right around the corner--VALENTINE'S DAY IS RIGHT AROUND THE CORNER, Y'ALL!!!!!  Okay now that I have gotten your attention I do hope that you have very special things planned for your Significant Other!  And please, PLEASE, PLEASE, don't be absolutely cliche and only go with dinner--DON'T DO THAT!!!!! STEP IT UP and GET THAT IMAGINATION IN GEAR!!!! Please be creative, please do not squander this opportunity to knock your S.O.'s socks off!
     If you decided to save up and do something special then don't do it halfway!  You can make a day of it, wake them up with breakfast in bed, their favorite coffee or shower them in flower petals and kisses and/or present them with their VDay gift or a bouquet of their favorite flowers (honestly I am such a sucker for Peonies, but they are so hard to find that if ever I got a bouquet of them I would probably melt--key point--I am not the only woman like this in the world *hint, hint*)!  (I mean who doesn't love waking up with something special or in a special way and if you start the day like this I am sure it will benefit you both!)  Get started early with a picnic in a park, hike up to a waterfall, couples massage or mani/pedi session (or give them one if you are good with your hands *wink, wink*).  Come back home and take sometime to love each other.  Read poetry, sit face to face and really--and I do mean really--look at your S.O.  Talk with them, touch them, make love to them, laugh with them or even watch a movie.  Get in a relaxing wind down together and enjoy that QT you may not usually get to have because your lives are so busy!  And don't get me wrong--I mean dinner is good, great, especially if your S.O. is a foodie (I know I am)!  But, don't ONLY do dinner!  What about a trip to the planetarium (before or after), Sky View, play, ballet or even the Botanical Gardens.  Maybe even do dessert and coffee afterwards at a swanky coffee house or check out a poetry reading at a really boho or trendy underground spot.    

     And remember it is about the memory not the price of things.  If you are dating on a budget then pull up Bing or Google and start researching what is being offered in your city/state.  There are usually lots to do that are either free or budget friendly all you ever have to do is look.  And again if you are on a budget then make this a DIY Valentine's day.  Write a poem and make a handmade card.  If you are uber artistic then paint a picture--literally--or carve something.  Got a pair of pipes on you (lucky dog) then write a song or sing them a song that really captures your relationship.  You can always bake, cook dinner, light a few candles and cut out some hearts and decorate your place!   Ideas and opportunities are only as limited as your imagination!  So DON'T BOX YOURSELF IN!!! Take this opportunity to make some awesome memories and let your imagination and love run wild!

      I wish you guys an absolutely awesome VDay weekend and until another time Love and Happiness of the truest kind.

Always,
     Marissa          

The Art and Beauty of Making Love

     Well it is that time of the year, yet again.  Although loving and cherishing your partner should be a part of your every day life throughout the year this month is the month of love!  Cupid, Aphrodite, Chocolate, Bears (I added that in selfishly I still want a giant, soft, fluffy, pretty one--what can I say I love teddy Bears), Puppies (again, selfish addition because I desperately want a French Bulldog), Bouquets, and Fancy Dinners aside I'm pretty positive we all know that the weekend (not just the day) is almost a guaranteed "I'm going to get lucky" weekend.  All the impending giddiness aside I would like to get serious about just how lucky you really are.
       Our bodies are beautiful--man or woman, chubby, slim, curvy, svelte, tall, short, it doesn't matter.  OUR BODIES ARE BEAUTIFUL.  And when you are in a relationship where someone has chosen to share this beautiful gift with you--you should cherish it.  Hopefully you already do this, but if you haven't for whatever reason I encourage you to heed this advice and live it from this day on.  Honestly, I don't understand anyone not having the desire to know everything about their partner's body.  Do you not want to explore that wonderland?  How can you not want to know what makes your partner weak in their knees?  Is it not worth taking the time to bring them to a level of ecstasy that they may have never reached before--would you not take pride in that?  How can you not feel blessed and powerful knowing the pleasure and joy you can bring to them by knowing their body?
     First, though, I implore you to please set the mood.  Even if you take time to learn and explore them, but you make your partner feel unattractive or unwanted before or after then it will seem insincere and nothing more than a waste.  Be FULLY IN THE MOMENT.  Start the seduction with a gentle touch, or suggestive whisper, maybe even in just how you look at them (like you want to devour them or like there is no one in the world but them).  Everyone is different.  Hopefully you know your partner's seduction style.  Personally I am the kind of woman who loves to be seduced mentally--first.  I want you to catch my eye and speak with me with your look--reinforce it with your words--then solidify it all with your actions.  But, like I said everyone is different.  Some people are more physical and prefer someone whose touch is their undoing--others are seduced by words--it should be considered a privilege to know your partner in such ways as this.

     Once the mood is set then you can move on to the equally enjoyable and wonderful step of getting to know/explore them.  Speaking of, I really don't understand how, in the time you have spent together, you not know the smell of their skin and how it feels as it slides against yours; learned every inch of them--how it tastes--and where it is most sensitive.  How blind, selfish and callous can you be not to see how it changes color, arcs, curls, when you lick, nibble or bite it in one spot or another.  The touch of their hair in your hands or the feel of it as it slips through your fingers like delicate waves or soft bouncy clouds.  Allow your hands to memorize the shape and curve of every inch of it--then let your lips follow suit.  Watch how they breath, move, sigh, look them in their eyes and be aware--listen, taste, learn--partake in the bountiful pleasures this gift offers.  If you haven't before--get to know your partner's body from head to toe--this would be a perfect opportunity to do so (and make up for all the times you haven't, at least start to). 
     I guarantee you if you do, this will bring another level of intimacy, freedom and appreciation to your relationship.  And I am also sure this will embolden your S.O. to do the same with you.  Take time--MAKE TIME--I promise you, that you will never regret it.  Take time to cherish and honor the gift that your partner is sharing you--the most natural and precious gift--their body.  (*Please not the repetition of the word TAKE was intentional and not due to oversight.)  Well, I will try to post one more before the big V DAY, but if I am not able to, I wish you all Love and Happiness of the truest kind!

Always,
     Marissa