Where Does Yours End and Mine Begin?

     Coming from an "island" heritage (St. Croix/Crucian--WOOT!) I have been raised differently from most other Americans.  Even though I was born in the states (the first grandchild to be, actually) my upbringing was rather "island"  in style (with only minor modifications).  Contrary wise my family teases me about being so very American, (but much less so than some of my cousins).  After many years I have come to believe that being an amalgamation of both cultures is a good thing.  Contrary wise there are sometimes where I wish I were more one than another--"...Let me 'xplain, no there is too much, let me sum up..." *smile*
     Like most families there are expectations placed upon every generation, but being from an island family it is harder to learn that sometimes you have to leave behind those expectations so that YOU (as an individual) can be prosperous and happy.  You see the majority of individuals from island families come from nothing.  It is emphasized from the day you are born that you MUST do better than the generation before you.  Every generation must propel the family further up the path of success and build a more stable foundation for future generations (AKA:  our children).  Now don't get me wrong I want to build a wonderful foundation for my future children, but I also have come to know that it will not necessarily be in the way that my family believes it will be.
     There finally came a time where I had to ask myself where do their dreams and lives end and mine begin (I KNOW I AM NOT ALONE IN THIS)?  After many years of struggling with this I came to the realization that when my life ends it will do so as it began--alone.  When I die I shall stand before God--alone.  My regrets, sins, virtues,  etc. will be put upon the scale to be judged and weighed.  The reasons why (example:  my mom wanted me to or because it was expected of me, etc.) will be irrelevant.  Because of this I have chosen to live my life for God and myself (and now Hunny, too).  I only have one go at this life and I want to live well and be happy.  If I am trying to please everyone I will be miserable (besides no one can make EVERYONE happy (that is impossible)).  I will continue to strive to live as beautifully and completely as possible; do more good than bad.  I want to love hard and thoroughly AND make God and Hunny proud.
     My family wants the best for me, but sometimes their desires and ideals get in the way.  At the end of the day diverging (from their ideals, desires and expectations) may be right for me (and keep in mind that diverging doesn't mean that I no longer love and respect my family).  No one should feel guilty for chasing their happiness (even if it is born from unconventional means(and I sure as heck won't))!  So,  that is why I say, go--chase your happiness!  Blaze your own trail, dance to your own beat and remember that those who truly love you, will always love you no matter what!  These are some of my revelations, desires and choices, what are yours?
     Until another time I wish you all love and happiness of the truest kind!
          ~Marissa