The UN-SMITTEN DIVORCEE/Letter to a Hypocrite/Justifiable Venting

(THIS POST WAS PREVIOUSLY WRITTEN BEFORE BEING POSTED)   

    Hello world I was (obviously) born yesterday, so I thought an introduction would be appropriate, right?  No, maybe not, considering I was born almost thirty years ago!  What a surprise this must be!  Well here's another surprise lying, blatant misrepresentation, (basically PERJURY of any kind and/or magnitude) of who you are is insanely unattractive and a waste of time, for everyone (but especially me)!  Wait, is that a shock?  Really?  Huh, too bad!  Now here is the question of the day, why would you lie (at all) let alone about things you truly CAN'T HIDE?  Did you think (honestly now) that you would be able to get away with it?  Not only that, but you have proven to be both a hypocrite (Mr. I Hate Liars...Really, seriously?  Have you NOT listened to yourself?) and a liar, but you have ruined something before it even started!
     I can't overlook such dishonesty!  I can't and don't consider you not even as a friend.  You have made it impossible.  Add to your dishonesty your lack of adventure to even try something new is just ridiculous.  I need someone who is down for the cause (You like how I added in a little gangsta', gangsta'?) so when I say I would love to go rock climbing or white water rafting again they say, "Hell, yes!", not "I don't want to risk personal injury".  Seriously?!?!? Seriously?!?!  I need a partner in crime, a roll dog (more gangsta' for ya') someone who will have fun with me and bend the rules (at least sometimes ("I'm a good gurl, I am!"(a little My Fair Lady for you))).  I need someone who will lay under a tree with me (didn't I say that was a favorite past time of mine?) just as easily and quickly as he can jump on the back of a horse or four wheeler!  I need to be able to grow and play (get your mind out of the gutter) with someone!  Seriously (too much Grey's Anatomy showing up in this post) is that really to much to ask or expect?  Additionally (and rhetorically) I ask, don't we all desire that?  Ugh!  I mean SERIOUSLY!!!
     WOOOOOSSSSSAAAAAWWWW!!!  Ok, I feel better now (yay, me)!  So I shall relinquish my soap box (at least for now) so someone else can use it.  Until another time kiddies, I wish you love and happiness of the truest kind!
     ~Marissa