Did you ever have one of THOSE days/moments? Yeah, well I did tonight. Most people wear many hats in their lives and I am no exception to that fact, but I have to say sometimes I want to burn those hats and walk away from them. Unfortunately the blessing (yes, I said blessing) of obligation doesn't allow us to do that. Instead we must be adults and face those days/moments or else--we get run over by the 28's of life! Although I am not a roll over type girl (at least not in these situations), emotions got the better of me tonight. You see the hat I wear for my family is very different from the one I wear at work or with my friends (as I assume is the case with most individuals). And sometimes that hat becomes too heavy to wear on top of all the others that I wear day in and day out. That "family" hat turned into a box of baking soda that dropped into a bathtub of peroxide and I was honestly overwhelmed.
The need to purge and vent was more than demanding, it was necessary! Blaring music didn't help and as I was already stuck in ridiculous, late-night, GA traffic so I couldn't walk or rather run off into the darkness to work it out. I really felt as though I needed to pull my car over to the side of the road and scream until I lost my voice. Shout out into the darkness, as lights of impatient cars whizzed by, call out to the entire universe all that frustration I wanted--no--I needed to release as it steadily spilled over into my being! I just wanted to SCREAM!!!!!!!! (C'mon y'all I know you have had at least one moment like that in your life...I know you feel me!) And in the midst of that frustration the only thing I could Pray was, "Lord...PLEASE!", after a few minutes that prayer was answered. Finess called and she let me vent and cry and sob and vent some more until I had purged myself of it, until I felt better (What is it about a good and thorough cry that helps to set the world right again?). She was the ear, the shoulder, and the utterly amazing and supportive friend I needed.
I had to thank God for blessing me with a friend who is steady and constant and good. Someone who can help me stay on track and refocus when too much piles up and the scale is tipped in the wrong direction. She helped me to tip it back to the proper place. I know everyone is different, but I think it takes strength to be vulnerable just as much strength as it takes to admit you need help (which are honestly probably two of the hardest things for me to do). The most comforting and beautiful thing about it was, without needing a reason Finess was there. She was the perfect message from God, and her words (which are always), true and full of heart were a gentle reminder that God most definitely hears when I call and that all things must happen in his time. Thank you God for your blessings both great and small (especially friends like Finess).
I just couldn't let that moment pass without using it to share a little with you kiddies. Until another time I wish you all love and happiness of the truest kind.
~ Marissa
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