Opening and Closing Doors

     Relationships--there are so many different types--no human on this earth has ever existed without having a relationship of some kind.  Connection--love--we all crave it, need it in our lives.  We strive to achieve and maintain healthy, successful relationships.  And truth be told that is a separate job in and of itself, even though it is truly worth it.  But, when relationships start to head south (as some inevitably will)--hit brick walls--or seem to stagnate no matter what you do, say or try, and you are frustrated and hurting because things just aren't working no matter how much love or time you pour into it, what do you do?
     First--Please take time to quiet your mind so you can hear your heart.  REFLECT--evaluate and give yourself a chance to breathe and think things through.  Making decisions or even just thinking about a difficult situation or decision out of a place of hurt, anger, or confusion isn't good for you or fair for your partner.
     Secondly--After your period of reflection, make sure that you realize the part you played in causing the decline of your relationship.  AKA:  Take RESPONSIBILITY!  A relationship takes 2 people, right?  So the responsibility of the health of the relationship lies with not just one party, but both!  Hopefully in your moment of reflection you would have completely assessed not just the errors of your partner, but the your own as well.  If you have then you should be able to accept your own actions (or inaction) that contributed to the situation.  Taking responsibility is just as important as reflecting and evaluating the situation with a clear heart and mind. 
     Thirdly--After you have reflected and taken responsibility then it is time to COMMUNICATE!  After you have clarity, take time to speak with your partner.  Let them know how you feel and where your heart and mind are.  Be as honest and clear as possible.  Do not do them nor yourself the dishonor of lying (not even lying by omission) or hiding the truth.  Be respectful and listen as well as speak your peace.  If your partner is not open or supportive then they have essentially made their decision.
     Lastly--When you take time to not only learn and understand what has caused the decline of a relationship, but to also take responsibility and the time to communicate with your partner then you are in a place to make a DECISION.  You have to decide whether or not this relationship has hope, if your partner is truly open to working on this with you (and not just verbally saying they are, but actually putting in the work, people) OR if it is time for you to end it and go your separate ways.  Unfortunately, love is not enough and one person can not put in all the time, work and energy.  Sometimes it is very hard, especially when you are in love with your partner, to walk away, but if your happiness and well being isn't important to them--it has to be important enough to you for you to protect it; since they have decided not to.
     Essentially what we need to remember is that we are responsible for the success or demise of our relationships.  We are the ones who open and close these doors.  If you are negligent, cavalier, uncaring, lazy, thoughtless, cruel, unromantic, etc. then I hope you realize that you have OPENED the door in your relationship for your partner to walk out or someone else to walk in!  If you want your partner in your life and a successful relationship--it takes work!  If you aren't willing to put in the work (as I have stated before) step aside for someone who will.  You can't completely blame your partner for being unsatisfied, unhappy or even tempted by someone else when you are not meeting nor fulfilling their needs.  I think a lot of times we forget that we are not in relationships for ourselves.  We are in relationships with people because of them--for them--you should want to be with someone because you wish to build a life and a future with them.  You should be with someone because you wish to love, protect, care for them and make them happy. 
     Relationships test your character, heart and very soul.  If you are selfish, egotistical, or even insecure, oblivious, condescending or untrustworthy, etc. then it isn't possible for you to have a healthy relationship.  If you aren't happy with yourself, or too consumed with self in anyway there is no way you can be giving with your partner.  And relationships are all about GIVING to someone else!  Love is worth the risk and the work for me, but not everyone truly--to their core--will feel this way.  And if you are one of those individuals who continuously takes and hurts and expects your partner to sit around waiting for you to wise up!  That isn't fair (it is SELFISH, just in case you didn't know) and it is cruel.
     I know how hard it is to walk away when you are in love with someone, but sometimes that is what that person is betting on--your love for them--taking advantage of your love and consideration.  I would be lying if I didn't say that it hurts!  From experience I will confess that it can physically hurt to leave the one who you have given your heart to, but it sometimes is necessary.  Sometimes we must close a door so that we will be given a key to open a better one.  Contrary wise I also know what it is like to not be completely giving in a relationship as well.  Of course it was unintentional and in retrospect I had to apologize and pray to God to forgive me for my negligence to others and the subsequent pain that I caused.  But, what I learned from the negligence and ignorance of my youth taught me to balance.  I learned to reflect and take responsibility--learn from my mistakes and the mistakes of those who I loved.  I got to know myself and decide not only who and how I wanted to be in a relationship, but what I would and wouldn't accept from my partner as well.
     Life and especially Love are constant learning experiences.  They grant us the opportunity to get to know ourselves--become better people.  I can't regret any of the relationships of my past.  First, because the past can not be undone and lastly because I wouldn't be who I am without that past.  I have loved and lost and my heart has been broken repeatedly.  But, I hope and believe that the majority of us will eventually learn (some more quickly than others).  And the hope of a healthy, beautiful love isn't unrealistic.  We just have to break our negative cycles and mindsets--learn to love ourselves so that we may be able to love others.  Learning the difference and being strong enough to protect your heart and happiness when someone you love doesn't is the most difficult lesson in this life.  But, it is possible to learn it and not only survive, but thrive as well.  
     I am sorry for the length of this post, my lovelies, but I really felt as though this needed to be said.  I hope that this post, despite its length may help at least one person achieve a happy, healthy relationship.  Until another time, I wish you all Love and Happiness of the truest kind.
     ~Marissa



 

A Good Man

     There was a time--an age--an era not so very long ago where the merit of a Good Man was considered as great as that of a Hero.  In many ways a Good Man was a Hero.  His integrity, kindness, selflessness, thoughtfulness, dependability was prized and rewarded.  Touted as a man who could be trusted without hesitation or doubt.  Someone you could and would go an extra mile for because he was not only worth it--but his very nature warranted it.
     These men were the cornerstones of good families, businesses--the very community and government.  When little boys were young they used to admire these men--they would dream of growing up to be good men.  Men who would be honest and reliable businessmen and responsible, positive citizens.  They desired a good education and career--they wanted to build families and be the kind of men that inspired others--inspired others to want to be both around and like them.  They were inspired and in turn were inspiring as well as men of contribution and good repute--they helped to build and maintain a good community.  For these kinds of men achieving the status of a "Good Man"  was a great one.  It brought pride to not only them, but to those who knew and loved them.
     Unfortunately this no longer seems to be the case.  Men who are good or even desire to achieve genuine goodness are now ridiculed and overlooked.  Being a good man is no longer an accomplishment that is sought after--it is seemingly considered not worthwhile.  The sad truth of it is guys are more concerned with what they have or can get or can get over on someone than in who they are or what they can contribute.  Infidelity, dishonesty, unreliability, irresponsibility, disrespect--these are attributes that are touted and perpetuated by society and even women.
     Ironically we complain about needing a change in our communities, local and national and yet we don't help good men succeed!  I know quite a few good men and sometimes what they are put through by external and even internal parties is appalling.  A good man, a good person, can not remain "good" if they are not supported or assisted or if they are constantly pulled down into the muck and mire.  We, as human beings, are fragile creatures.  We can survive and endure a lot, but when the limit is reached--then it is reached.  We can not expect great things from mediocre men and we can not expect good men to succeed when we do not support, protect and appreciate them either.
     Life is about balance and things are more or less out of whack, but we are the ones who disrupted that balance and so we are the only ones who can fix it.  For all of the good men out there, please don't lose yourself--stay strong--and surround yourself with genuine people who will help you become a better you and maintain your goodness.  Women--if you find a good man and you aren't ready for him OR he really isn't what you want then let him know *kindly* do not use him or break his heart.  And if you find a good man and you desire to retain what he offers then help protect and support his goodness.
     A good man is hard to find, but he doesn't have to be.  Just a little observation on my end.  I wish you all Love and Happiness of the truest kind!
          ~Marissa

Confidence is KEY!

     Okay Lads and Lassies I don't know whether you know it or not (or maybe you might have forgotten) but the key to achieving most things in life is CONFIDENCE!  I am not joking at all here, so take note.  Confidence is key.  Now I am not talking about Ego--no--that is a truly sad attribute and makes someone look immature and fake.  I am talking about genuine, healthy, confidence.  Although you may consider this a lot of unwarranted emphasis on something that may seem unnecessary (to those who don't know) I can guarantee you that this is not the case at all.  I believe that we spend a lot of time focusing on love, honesty and perseverance, but what are any of these attributes without confidence?  Would Romeo have pursued Juliet without confidence?  Would honest Abe been honest without confidence?  Would Martin Luther King, Jr have persevered without confidence?  No--I don't think so--and if you are honest with your self (especially after I have posed these questions) I am sure you don't think so either.
     The generation of confidence is a curious thing.  Nine times out of ten confidence is an attribute cultivated over time, although for some lucky people it is natural.  I will admit that I have more "affection" for those who have had to come through a lot--heal--and get to know themselves well enough to build that confidence.  Because it comes from being quite hard won I believe it is stronger, than "natural" confidence.  But, don't misunderstand me, healthy confidence no matter from where it originates is a beautiful and necessary thing in this life.  You see either way, confidence is like the spinal cord for all other positive attributes that make up our internal structure.  It is necessary for us to fulfill our roles as people.  With confidence not only do doors in our (external) lives open, but doors within ourselves open as well.  And that is truly priceless.
      One can exude confidence in various ways; it is in the way you carry yourself, your demeanor, your walk and how you speak to others.  And whether or not you realize it people can tell when you do and don't have confidence in yourself.  That realization will have an affect on how others perceive and react to you. You see confidence is what allows you to own who you are; face the world bravely and undaunted.  It gives you the ability to venture forth with surety and an unfailing knowledge of self to the  point where nothing can (nor will) deter you.  Confidence, even when it comes to the opposite sex, opens more doors than not because whether you realize it or not it is tremendously appealing!  (Quite honestly few things are more attractive than someone who is confident and sure of themselves--who they are.)   
    When I was younger I didn't understand why confidence is so important.  But the longer I live and the more I experience I have found that having confidence is an important part of having a healthy internal balance--an important part of self love.  It is something that will help propel us--drive us--to achieve our goals; to be the people we deeply desire to be.  I believe it to be truly necessary (just so long as it is healthy and doesn't mutate into an ego) for us to prosper in our lives.  When people have confidence it draws others to them like moths to a flame.  It adds to the internal light that burns within, magnifying its brilliance into an undeniable and incandescent entity. 
     Being someone who had to work very hard to build my own confidence--I consider it, although difficult, a truly great, personal achievement.  My sojourn through my internal dark forests and brier patches was well worth the outcome.  I found my voice and the strength to unapologetically be who I am!  without confidence I wouldn't be able to love myself nor all of my imperfections and quirkiness.  Confidence, healthy confidence, is something to be proud of.  It is a powerful and beneficial attribute that everyone should cultivate.  Sometimes it isn't easy to acquire, but I encourage everyone (who is having difficulties building theirs) to make that personal, internal, journey for the benefits are well worth the difficulties.  That is all the food for thought I have for tonight, Lovelies!  Until another time I wish you all Love and Happiness of the truest kind!
          ~Marissa     

Loving This Body

     Living in a society that prizes long hair, thin bodies, straight (perfectly bleached) teeth and the will power to say 'yes' to salads and 'no' to cupcakes--I sometimes feel rather out of place.  I am not a size 2 (anymore) and quite honestly I don't want to be again.  My desire to lose some lbs and have a healthier lifestyle is about being healthy NOT conforming to society's idea of "beauty".  The fact of the matter is I only get one body and I am determined to take care of it ( by breaking bad habits and learning better ones).  Even though I am shedding lbs, being more responsible with my diet and "wal-gging" (walk+jog=walgging (an adorable friend gave me the term and I like it)) fun 5k's (or through the woods just for the heck of it) doesn't mean that I don't love my body.  I am trying to take care of my body and that should prove that I love it enough to want to reside in it for a long time to come.
     I mean even though I may complain or joke about my breasts being big every now and again they are still mine and I am blessed that they are healthy and natural.  They are hard to restrain in swim suits but look yummy (if I do say so myself) in (most) dresses.  I have round thighs and hips that move beautifully (on and off the dance floor) with only a simple thought.  And I like my "apple" (as my mom calls it) butt because it is the right size for my body and looks super cute in practically everything I put it in!  My tummy is a tad rounder than I like (that is changing as I change my lifestyle of course), but I love the softness of it (personally I want to be fit not ripped).  And my skin--oh I love the silkiness of my skin.  I will full out admit that I am a little obsessed with my skin and keeping it soft and supple.
     I have come to accept, appreciate and love my straight, pointy, nose (that curves down a little at the tip when I smile) and almond shaped eyes (that virtually disappear when I laugh or smile too hard).  I genuinely believe I have a pretty mouth and even though my teeth aren't perfectly straight or white (I am a tea/coffee drinker) I like my smile because it comes from my heart and I think it is inviting for it is sincere.  I adore the hidden dimples near my chin that make special appearances when I smile or make certain faces.  I have even come to love quite dearly the freckles that decorate my body (it took awhile, but I honestly do) and the unexpected places where new ones pop up!
     Being a member of "Team Natural" for a couple of years now I have grown to love the thick, crazy, inconsistent curl patterns of my hair.  Even though fighting with it can be seriously frustrating--I do enjoy it very much.  I even think my "short" fingers and "sausage" toes (as others have called them) are rather cute.  The long and short of it is--after a long (and at one point very unhealthy) journey with body image and expectations of others in regards to mine--I have come to love this vessel--my vessel--this wonderful gift from God to me.  Even though it was genetically designed by my heritage it was organized by His two hands and that makes me (as well as everyone else) a true divine creation.
     My body isn't perfect mind you.  I have cellulite, stretch marks, fillings and scars (what can I say I am a klutz).  I am a little too hairy for a girl (you do not want to see my legs after not shaving for a week (thanks to my dad's genetics)); I have funky toe nails on my little toes (they just grow in a different shape y'all they aren't stinky or green); and I run so cold that my feet almost always feel like I am dead (at least according to Hunny whenever I stuff them under him to warm them up); I stand at 5'4 and to top it off Rugrat and Booger (aka: my, way, younger brothers) are both taller than me (so are my parents)!   Like I said it isn't perfect and it doesn't fit societies "norm", but I don't want to!  I will embrace this gift and cherish it.  and even though it doesn't make me who I am it is a part of me and worthy of genuine love and appreciation.  I will take pride in my vessel and how I care for it.  I will celebrate and love my body--this body--and do my best by it.

     I encourage all of you--my Lovelies--to love (or in some cases learn to love) your bodies with all of its perfections and imperfections.  It is your vessel, your home and we are only given one.  Remember that beauty is in the eye of the beholder.  It isn't always common or conventional nor is it relegated to a specific race or age group either.  You decide what beauty is for yourself--set your own standard!  Until another time I wish you all Love and Happiness of the truest kind!
          ~Marissa
    

Admist the Quiet

     I have always fancied myself a night owl.  And not only because I am (most certainly) not a morning person.  I have always found the quiet of the night to be comforting, alluring--peaceful.  Even the beauty of the moon in its various progressions--brilliant stars (twice as vibrant this time of the year) and the sound of virtually nothing is a fascinating delight that never loses its magic for me.  Maybe it is because I live (and most certainly work) in a very noisy world that I sometimes forget the joy and absolute beauty of the silence that seems to only be found in the night.
     It is the time of the day that holds the most magic because everything seems so much clearer without the noise of the more wakeful hours.  It is a time for reflection, meditation, thankfulness, prayers and dreams.  It is during these hours that I breathe easier and feel more "present" than any other.  It amazes me that something as simple as quiet--taking time to sit and enjoy the peace of it--can make such a difference in my state of being.  I have said it many times and I am sure I am not the only one who gets caught up in the "business" of my everyday life that at times I forget about what I find during these hours.  But in those moments that I happen to find sleep absent from my grasp--it strikes me--and before I know it, a practically instantaneous comfort fills me.      
     I am sure you can imagine what an interesting child I was for I didn't fear the night or even the "witching hours", as my family used to call it.  I welcomed it and I still do.  For when it comes--with the gift of (subsequent) quiet it brings with it--I can remember what my day has pushed back from the forefront of my mind.  Ah--sweet clarity--what joy!  And tonight--tonight I have reflected upon the many blessings I have been given and the people who make my life so very special.  My heart is filled with memories and hopes for Hunny and me; thankfulness for Chickateeta and Maman; memories of the Rugrat and Booger and all the fun I have with my friends--the things they have all taught me--and how they have helped me become the woman I am.  I am grateful to God for the gift of these magnificent individuals in my life.  And being able to reflect upon my journey with them reminds me that blessings come in many packages and can be quite simple sometimes too. 
     As you can tell these moments of quiet provide me with the opportunity to renew my eternal balance--in a way--with only a little of my "sleep" time sacrificed.  I encourage you all to find your own quiet time and see what happens!  Who knows what kind of clarity you may find.  As it is, Sleep has finally chosen to show me some favor and my bed is calling me to snuggle down deep into a warm comforter and fluffy pillows.  So, I believe that this will be enough sharing from me for one night.  Until another time I wish you all Love and Happiness of the truest kind!
          ~Marissa     
    

In My Garden

     Hello Lovelies!  I know I have been gone for awhile, but I really needed to take a break and recollect myself.  I needed to remember how to tend to my garden.  Sometimes we get so caught up in life--the running, rushing and general rat race that we all run (to make a paycheck) that we forget to stop, breathe and take time to tend to the most important part of our lives--ourselves.  And truth be told I was so busy being so many things to so many people--spreading myself thin--so much so there was nothing left for me and I was feeling the strain of it all in an unimaginable way.
     With my very being feeling tired and overwhelmed my mind wouldn't quiet--and a feeling of being lost within myself eclipsed everything else.  And I can't begin to explain exactly how the combination of all of this was reeking havoc on me.  One emotion or state of being led way to another and yet another; becoming catalysts unto themselves and creating a seemingly endless cycle--they fed off of each other and I was in great need of getting out my gloves and pulling the weeds that had taken root in my life.  Right now I am still in the process of trying to organize, detox and give myself some much needed love-- unfortunately, like with any garden, it is going to take time and work in order for me to get back to a hundred percent.
     And quite honestly there is no way I can do this by myself--and lucky for me I don't have to.  The out pouring of love and support from Hunny, Chickateeta, friends and co-workers has warmed my heart and reminded me why we shouldn't go through life alone.  I wish I didn't have these painfully human moments, but because of them I am reminded of my blessings; about the people who truly do love and support me; and that sometimes--when overwhelmed--it is OK for others to help you.  That is why we have those special people in our lives.  It is truly during these times (or during their own times of trepidation) that we discover exactly what kind of flowers these people are in our lives--whether they are Seasonal, Perennials or Annuals. During certain trials and tribulations we are able to see exactly what kind of qualities they will bring to our garden and subsequently what kind of longevity they will have as well.
     Maybe that is why times such as this are not only a curse, but a blessing as well.  They can call you back to yourself to cleanse, reevaluate, appreciate and learn.  Obviously I was long overdue and just like I procrastinate on updating my computer (until it does it by itself during the most inconvenient times) I also seemed to have done the same with myself.  I will have to put into practice carving out time for rejuvenation so that I can maintain a healthier Being more consistently than I have been lately.  Well, that is all I have for now.  I can't promise I will have more soon, but I will do my best.  Please learn from my mistake and don't forget to take time to tend your garden because when things become overgrown it is harder to work through your fields.
     Until another time I wish you all Love and Happiness of the truest kind!
          ~Marissa         

Awe To Breath Again

So this week I have reclaimed my life! I feel so alive and accomplished! I can breathe again and really feel again. It's like the stormy cloud of lost love, questioned friendships, and exhaustion of foolishness has finally lifted and I can see the sunny side of life! It feels amazing to get out of that funk I was in!

Sooo, you ask, what did I do this week that made it wonderful? I... did whatever the hell I wanted to! It's so simple, but super hard to do! I went with every whim I had. I didn't hold myself to a constructed schedule; I just woke up and lived! Man does it feel amazing! I stopped worrying about other people. I put myself first and just lived. I stopped trying to figure what was going on with them, stopped being so consumed with their problems; I lived my life and let the pieces fall where they choose to lay. It feels so wonderful; I think this is how I'm going to live my life for now on! No worries!

Ok so on one of my off days this week I found a really cool place to mediate. I know, mediate? But you would be surprised how relaxing it is to sit still and quiet your mind. There's power in a still mind, and I started cultivating mine! Upon entering the Georgia Meditation Center, you immediately get a sense of calm. I met some really nice people there, all very helpful. We had a guided mediation session by an actual Buddhist Monk! (Seriously super cool!) If you ever get a chance to check it out, I seriously recommend it! I feel so aware of myself, in touch with my spirit!

The second adventure I had this week, was a trip to my new hometown square. I moved up to Marietta over a year ago, and honestly have not been anywhere other Wal-Mart, Kroger, and Quick Trip! Sad I know! I was pleasantly surprised! It was gorgeous! It had such a wonderful old town charm to it. Between the fountain in the middle of the square, to the theater and various shops, it was totally worth the 15 minute trip up the road. I found the most delicious Peach Pecan Preserves and Australian meat pies... Yes... Australian meat pies!!!  It's like a savory, meaty, cheesy, flaky crust pie, all in little old Marietta, GA! I wandered in and out do the cutest, quaint shops, looking at homemade goodies and trinkets! And I found an entire section of Dr. Who! Dr. Who!!! My newest TV obsession! I was too thrilled. In all I would also recommend a nice quiet afternoon getting lost in Marietta's square!

It's been such an amazing week! I urge everyone to take back your life!!! Take a moment to breathe! Do exactly what you want, live how you want! Life is too short to be stressed; you miss out on all the fun worrying about everyone else! Live for yourself, because no one else can live for you! Live Live Live!!!

With a light and cheerful spirit,

Finess

A New Lease on Life

You know whats worst than having too little time for something? Having way too much time and nothing to do!

So here I am, twiddling my thumbs, just a little brain numb from catching up on EVERY show I've missed since the invention of cable. Ugh this is not how my life should look!  It doesn't feel right! I feel so lost in the sauce! Now that I have settled in my new position at work and have enjoyed my new found free schedule... I NEED TO FIND A LIFE!!!!

And that is exactly what I'm going to do! And I'm going to take you guys along with me! The more the merrier!  And hopefully I can encourage someone out there to start having adventures outside of the house too! :-)

So here is the list of all the things I find interesting, and each off day that I have, I will incorporate something off my list! If you have an suggestion on something I should try, please let me know!!!

My Interests
-FOOD: Cooking and Eating
-Meditation
-Boss (my dog)
-Walking
-Dancing
-Reading
-Arts and Crafts
- Shopping
-Traveling

So cheers to the many adventures that await me! And a second shot for the ones you'll have! Can't wait to share stories!
Until next time... FIND A LIFE!

Finess

You Come First

So lately I've been quite silent, and I truly apologize for that! Where some need to talk and vent or even have a drink or 5, I need space; time alone between myself and my creator. I resort to my safe haven when the sea of our world makes me a little seasick.

After counsel with Him and reflection,  I realized the root of my unhappiness. Guess what?  Like most problems, it started with me. I was allowing those who I cared for the most mistreat me. I was putting their best interest before mine, and not receiving the same in return. I'm not saying that being there for others and occasionally putting their needs before your is a bad thing, but there comes a time when that gift is misused and mistreated. More often than not, it's the ones that we care for that abuse it. It's hard, I know, to find that line where enough is enough, but I found mine and you will discover yours when its time.

I had enough of giving 110% and only getting 5%. Enough of being the only one compromising. The only one making an effort. The only one praying and begging God to change matters. The only one who cared. Being constantly called upon. I had enough being an enabler. Tired of constantly helping to pick up the pieces, just for them to fall in the same place all over again. This is not how relationships should go! There must be a equal give and take!

Due to this revelation, I'm making changes. I'm going to be COMPLETELY SINGLE, no boos, no "friends", no non of that! I'm not going to accept less than I deserve. I'm going to keep my circle of friends small. The only way to remain happy in this world is to realize your worth!  So I'm announcing to the world that Finess Lee Hill has retired from foolishness!

Every relationship, whether: lover, friend, and even family, I'm asking myself... Are they helping to nourish my tree? Are they watering my soul? Or are they just taking shelter and shade without contributing to my tree? I don't know about you,  but I would rather be surrounded but a handful of people who have my best interest at heart,  than a sea of people taking shade while me tree withers away. I'm worth the same love that I give, and will not settle for anything less!

Until next time,
Finess♡♥♡♥

MY Kind of Romance

     Well--we have made it through Spring Fever and Summer Madness (Thank God) and we are now (finally) in the middle of my absolute favorite Season--Autumn!  Autumn blesses us with lovely weather; boots; long walks through golden leaves and cuddling in front of the fire place (to name a few of my favorite Autumn hobbies)!  There are so many lovely things about Autumn and to top it all off it is my first Autumn with Hunny (double the cuddle time)!  And along with all the cuddling, bonfires, hikes, (etc.) burns the brighter than average flame of romance (at least for me).  I don't know what it is about Autumn, but it puts me in a hyper-romantic mood, but--hey I love it (and Hunny isn't complaining either)!  And lucky for me Hunny doesn't mind going along for the ride (or on occasions "driving")!
     I mean Romance is as mutable as Love--it varies from person to person.  Example:  One person may find Game tickets to see their favorite team play their biggest rivals romantic; while another may find a long hike to the top of a mountain at sunrise the most romantic thing ever.  This is why it is very important to get to know your partner and discover exactly what is Romantic for them.  I am happy to share that I am very lucky because my Hunny loves me enough to not only understand and learn what is Romantic to me, but to actually do it.  I will full out (and proudly) admit that I am a quirky woman.  And the other day, I wanted nothing more than to have my hair washed.  I have never asked Hunny to do it before, but for some reason that is what I wanted.  Hunny--being the awesome boyfriend he is actually took the time to do it for me.  He didn't grumble or gripe and to top it all of he took his time and was caring-gentle and diligent.  He asked if I was comfortable with the temperature of the water; how I liked it washed and even if I wanted anything specifically done.  I can not begin to tell you first--how soothing and comforting it was for him to wash my hair, but also how very loved, cared for and special I felt that he would happily take time to do this for me.
     It may seem silly to some, but there was an intimacy and thoughtfulness in every stroke of his hand--every finger along my scalp that turned me into a great-gooey-girly mess.  I was absolutely blissful and content (way less stressed) by the time he finished (he could have asked for the moon and I would have probably given it to him--don't tell him I told you that, though) and I even returned the favor most happily (but I love playing in his gorgeous hair (and he loves when I do too) anyway).  Honestly, sweet thoughts and actions--little things that make me feel special--are very Romantic to me.  Tying my shoe when it is untied; flowers just because you knew they would make me smile; my favorite junk food after I have had a tough day so you can binge and veg out with me; long walks together; a note on my pillow to say you love me; making me lunch and bringing it to my job; surprising me with a day at Tallulah Gorge hiking out to waterfalls or bird watching; an unexpected present (book, movie, perfume, etc.) just because you saw it and thought of me; or even turning off the phone and snuggling up and playing board games and watching movies with me--for me these things are romantic and special.  Romance isn't just about money or fancy dates and vacations--being Romantic or creating Romance can and SHOULD be an every day thing.
     Romance--being Romantic--is more about thoughtfulness and taking time to turn thoughtfulness into action, than anything else.  I have an "Autumn Bucket List" and even though there was a groan from Hunny when I sent it to him after a chuckle he agreed and I can't wait to spend time making new memories with him--trying new things--and enjoying this gorgeous Season!  Day or night when we get the opportunity to have "firsts" together--hold each others' hands and do something different or special I feel loved and cherished and it is so romantically-wonderful that I get all giddy and joyous just thinking about it.  My Romance isn't your type of Romance.  And even if there are similarities there will probably be more differences than not!  I am just so very lucky that my wonderful Hunny loves me enough to share in these moments and indulge in some of my quirkier requests.  So very lucky that my happiness and my sense of Romance being fulfilled is as important to him as his is to me.
     I truly wish that everyone will find that person who holds your happiness above theirs and strives to do everything within their power to make you happy!  There is a beautiful and comforting feeling that comes from that kind of love.  And when you add in the fulfillment of your kind of Romance to that beautiful and genuine love--it is like homemade icing with strawberries on top of the cake!  Well, that is all I have for now.  I wish you all Love and Happiness of the truest kind!
          ~Marissa