PREVIOUSLY WRITTEN
I am doggy paddling trying to keep my head above water--looking for an inlet, island, cove, sand bank (c'mon throw a girl a bone) somewhere I can rest peaceably before I start my journey again. But there is nothing in sight. Through tempests, hurricanes, and sporadic storms I have paddled. And without any haven or sanctuary in sight I am starting to lose my strength. The constant struggle has (and is) taking its toll. I am trying hard to be strong, but I would be lying if I didn't admit that I feel myself burning out.
A body can only go through so much before it can not sustain itself. And then what is left? Trying to balance and survive is difficult enough as it is, but with all of the other external factors (trying to reek havoc in my life) it is practically impossible. The only thing I can do is pray (which I have been doing), but I am starting to believe that God is tired of hearing my voice (I kid, I kid). But, what else is left for me to do? I can't seem to make headway on my own, so--who else am I to look to?
But maybe I am missing the point of all of this. Maybe this is a test of my trust--my ability to not just have hope and faith, but to trust that there will be land before my body gives up the ghost. Trust that there will be a place of peace, provision and sanctity (hopefully in my very near future). Trust that every storm pushes me closer to where I am meant to be--need to be. So it seems as if I may need to continue to doggy paddle (or lie on my back and float with the current for awhile)--continue to try and keep my head above water--and trust that I will hit land soon (or at least a cruise liner). Maybe, just maybe, I need to work on my trust.
Well Lovelies the long and short of it is I need to adjust to this new perspective and embrace it. (And remember there may be something going on in your life that you may need to see from a different angle, too.) Until another time I wish you all love and happiness of the truest kind.
~Marissa
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