And then of course there is the desire to learn and bond that comes with REAL love and care. The adventure and privilege of getting to know someone with a depth that few others do is both thrilling and a deep desire of those who Love. I don't believe it is possible to love someone and NOT desire or even truly attempt to know them. How can you love someone you don't want to or just don't know at all? When you love someone, in the desire to protect and be a safe harbor for them, knowing the depth at which the person you love hopes, dreams and fears is of utmost importance to you. In getting to know their depth their world opens up to you. And that is where and when the bond begins. Learning their faults and virtues; interests and pet peeves is just as important as learning the intimacy and beauty of their body. You can not love without learning or bonding--and if you do, then that love is shallow and doomed to fail, if you will forgive my tactless honesty. Personally there is no desire in my heart to be with anyone in any form who does not desire nor sees the importance in knowing me.
As you learn and bond with the person you love, your world opens up as well. If the person you love is very different from yourself you are presented with an opportunity to learn from them--even if it isn't an interest or view point you share or agree with it is a new perspective and opportunity to see and understand things in a way that you haven't necessarily known of before. It is also an opportunity to make that person happy by sharing in something that they enjoy with them--it also shows them their importance to you as well even if it isn't your thing to do, but you still do so, happily to enjoy something both with and for them. If the person you love is very similar to you then you can expand on the common interests you have together and even learn new things together too. Every moment with the person you love is an opportunity to learn, bond and grow TOGETHER. These are the opportunities that literally make or break a relationship. Whether it is learning what makes them laugh; how to comfort them in times of need or distress; or how to play together, these are those (sometimes) little moments that will always mean the most and hold the greatest importance in the success or failure of a relationship.
Then of course there is the beauty, necessity and joy of intimacy both emotional and physical. Being a respectful, understanding protector of the one you love you have given them the gift and ability to be open and vulnerable with you. This is a privilege, honor and a joy that is shared by the two people who are in the relationship together. To become a person that is loved and trusted so much that another person is happy and comfortable being open with their emotions is a beautiful thing and quite the achievement too. It is definitely a step in the right direction. When your love is true, there isn't a need for the person you love to walk on egg shells; they can be exactly who they are and know that they are loved and accepted for being their wonderful self. No need for masks or to hide behind expectations they know that you love their flaws unconditionally as they are a part of who they are.
When someone can be emotionally vulnerable and open with you; then they can also share their physical intimacy with you. But even this is different, even this has a different level. When their is real love, trust and protection--again--another world opens. Then the one you love feels safe to express themselves intimately without the fear of being judged, rejected or misunderstood. When you create that openness and safety, then it is possible to take your time to explore and learn their body, there is so much joy in knowing someone intimately who can express and explore without inhibitions to hinder them. An inclination of Real Love is to know the one you love in totality and not squander those opportunities by rushing, but by cherishing them. And not just because of my own natural temperament, but because I honestly know the often skirted and overlooked importance of emotional and physical intimacy in a relationship do I encourage you to learn the one you love in TOTALITY. What kiss quickens the breathe; what touch encourages a sigh; what bite births a groan; what nibble makes them weak in their knees. Learn the feel of their skin; the arch of their neck; the dip of their shoulder and curve of their hip. Again when you love someone their satisfaction comes before your own (just like their happiness) and is shared back again with you. As I said before when you Really Love, you change, your desires and priorities change and not because you are told or badgered into it, but because you have a NATURAL INCLINATION to be the person the one you love deserves.
The inclinations of Real Love are what relationships are made of; if they do not exist how can the relationship exist? Of course not everyone is able to love, really, in totality. Some people realize this and still quite selfishly engage in relationships before they are truly capable of being an equal lover and partner in the relationship. Unfortunately some do not realize it, even though none of their relationships ever reach a respectable longevity or even success--they blame everyone and everything before looking inward. But then self realization and growth is difficult for the majority of people in this world. To those who are not yet on this level, if love is truly what you want--the deep, long lasting love--I encourage you to strive and struggle to grow in order to experience and give it. For those of you who are there--find someone who can match what you offer. Believe me, it is a living hell loving someone who isn't on that level with you. To everyone, I do wish you all Love and Happiness of the Truest kind!~Always
Marissa
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