The Love You Deserve

     I believe that we are all familiar with the quote, " We accept the love we think we deserve", but I wonder how many of us have taken pause to scrutinize and understand this saying.  Although it is difficult for me to believe, there are people out there that do not believe this saying to be true, but for those of you who do I ask this--how many times have you accepted love that you thought you deserved, but it ended in dire heart break?  And did you learn anything about yourself from this heartbreak or did you continue to travel the same road repeatedly only to reach the same end result?
     Love is a powerful thing, I have said it a million times and I will continue to say it again and again for it is true.  It is also mutable and varied as well.  It is an entity we can not control and only barely understand.  But, a way to better understand it, to live with and within it (in a fruitful and healthy way) is to understand ourselves.  We all accept the love we think we deserve.  If we think we only deserve bits and pieces of few good things here or there, then that is what we seek for it is comfortable and we understand it.  In doing this we do not help ourselves to grow in love or individually, but we stagnate ourselves instead.  In order to have a healthy, prosperous, love we must not only know ourselves, but heal ourselves.
     We DO set the rules for how others treat us and what we will accept for ourselves in our relationships.  If we allow others to take advantage, manipulate, hurt or abuse us, using the gift of our love against us--we must take time to figure out and understand why we allow and accept this treatment.  Then we must decide whether or not we want something better for ourselves and if we are willing to work towards it or if we will remain as we are.  Not that it is easy to change--to grow--, mind you, for it is not at all.  It will take a lot of time and effort, but at the end of the day will it not be worth it--are we not worth it?  We may, in this process of growth, lose a person whom we love dearly, fiercely and completely, but if the love is one sided--if they do not mark our happiness as being (at the very least) as important as their own (and treat us like it) nor are they on the "same page" as we are--is not the pain of the loss worth it?  Is it not a beautiful thing to learn that the capacity of our love is greater then previously perceived or that we can love with such a completeness that our love is unconditional?  Is learning and experiencing a new level of love and passion--the memory of the beauty of it--something newly discovered about ourselves not treasure enough to take with us as compensation from walking away from one whom we love, but who does not reciprocate?
     Love isn't easy and it isn't enough by itself.  It is a large, beautiful and important part of a whole, but like a clock it needs more than one cog to run properly.  When we give ourselves and our love to someone, we give them a gift that is absolutely priceless and beyond compare--for to give of ourselves is always that greatest and most marked treasure we can bestow upon another, let alone our love.  Love takes work--the work of TWO people--it takes time, energy, effort, desire, and care to reach its purest, highest manifestation of itself.  But without two, working together constantly it can not--will not work.  We all not only need, but deserve a completely equal partner.  One who not only accepts what we offer, but offers the same in return.  One who will treasure, understand, appreciate and reciprocate the boon we give them in giving ourselves.  A partner who will walk beside us as an equal who we never have a question or a doubt about their intentions, desires or heart.

     We deserve the best for we give the best.  We need to remember not to sell ourselves short--to break bad habits and cycles--so that we may have a beautiful, prosperous, relationship blessed with happiness, longevity and love.  We, the tender and brave of hearts; the good natured and optimistic, supportive, patient, kind and understanding, loving, souls--we who love continuously with all the hope in the world thrilling through our veins--we deserve the best.  So, work towards it faithfully, because--like happiness--a good, healthy, relationship is a choice!  Mark my words, remember them, but above all BELIEVE THEM--for I speak them honestly and from my heart!
     Until another time I wish you all Love and Happiness of the truest kind.
          ~Marissa

Gentleman

     In the fabulous words of John Wayne, "You have to be a man before you can be a gentleman" ( I love McClintock).  And since I believe the statement to be true, I must pose a question--where have all the gentlemen gone?  I am not asking for a Medieval knight in shinning armor (although having someone who not only knows how and when to throw on a suit of armor, but is willing to is a phenomenal thing to have), I am asking about a true gentleman.  What happened to guys not just wanting to be guys, but to be men?  When did general manners, consideration and responsibility become words filled with disdain instead of honor?
     I don't desire to go back to the fifties but there are certain attributes that were more common place then, that I wish were common place now!  Having a gentleman who walks with you on the inside of a side walk or street keeping you away from traffic; opens doors (and I mean all, car doors included); pulls out your chair; says 'please' and 'thank you'; notices something nice about you; I mean go study Carey Grant movies if necessary because (and do trust me) we are missing it!  When you really think about it, don't you want to be all of those things? 
     If gentlemen are a dying breed then it is high time for a revival (or even a Renaissance of sorts)!  We need our men back!  And not guys of empty words and broken promises, but men of honor, truth and action.  We need men we can trust, stand beside, give our hearts to, who will be protectors and providers of us and our families.  We need men who want so much more than a nice car, pretty condo and designer labels.  C'mon guys, wake up--grow up--don't you want better for yourselves--for your lives?  These are just questions and y'all have the answers, so I guess we will all have to wait and see.
     I do have hope for our guys--hope they will come to understand and remember what has been forgotten.   Well until another time I wish you all love and happiness of the truest kind.  
          ~Marissa     

Karma Within Rebirth

     So, I know that I am rather late to the party, but I finally pushed Cloud Atlas up on my Netflix list and dove into it this weekend.  If I am to be perfectly honest, which I prefer, I have watched it more than once (or twice, or thrice) and it isn't because I couldn't follow or understand it.  (And no, I didn't read any spoilers).  I have watched it multiple times because every time I do I find something new within the lines.  Truly I have enjoyed it (ever so much more than Hunny did) and am dying to get my hands on the book (because we all know that the book is always sooo much better than the movie).
     The very concept of Cloud Atlas should make one stop and think.  I had a serious moment of introspection after watching this movie the first time, which deepened with every viewing since.  I do believe in Karma, most sincerely and with every fiber of my being, I do.  Tom Hanks' characters in this movie (to me) were the epitome of how black karma can effect life--constantly rippling out--until it is (hopefully, after sometime,) negated.  I see people in my every day life who are building up undeniable black karma with their cruelty; hatred; and unjust ways and I can't help to wonder how can they not see--not feel--what they are doing or the consequences of what they have done.  Can they not feel the imbalance they are causing within their environment, let alone themselves?
     What if, in our world, Rebirth was not a question but a fact.  What if we knew that every decision, every choice that we make now would have an effect on our rebirth--on our future lives.  Would we make the same decisions, choices, that we made before?  Or would we strive to be better people and would our efforts be sincere or would they simply be made to better our futures?  It makes one stop and think.  It made me stop and think.   And not just about our choices and Karma, but the people in our lives as well.  Those people who are Kindred Spirits; Soul Mates; and Heart Beloveds.  Those who we meet, know, love and learn from--the same ones who come into our lives that we feel as though we have known forever or have a connection with them that resounds from the deepest parts of our soul.  The people we can't live without; the ones that complete us--make us feel whole; the friendships, family and lovers that seem meant to be and an undeniable part of us that we never knew we needed until we had them in our lives--our hearts. 
     Yes, a lot of introspection was born from this movie and I found that I had to agree with Frobisher and Sonmi, "I do believe there is another world after this, a better world"...and "I see it as a door opening...".  What that world will be like--I can only imagine--exactly when I will reach it, I don't know.  But, I hope to see you there.  Until another time, I wish you all Love and Happiness of the truest kind.
     ~Marissa     

Lifesavers

     Lifesavers--are not just multi-flavored fruity candies--but they are people who are in our lives to do exactly as the title suggest--save our lives.  Although all of this may sound a tad dramatic, it isn't.  Honestly, don't we all need Lifesavers in our lives?  They are the ones that help us to maintain perspective; keep us from slipping over the edge, and help us to keep our heads above water when we are tired of treading through the waves.  And the best thing about it is that we don't ever have to ask.  Lifesavers jump right in without a second thought--as soon as they see you floundering, slipping, or falling they are right there to help keep you where you need to be.
      I thank God everyday for the Lifesavers that he has brought into my life.  I wouldn't be where I am without them.  In retrospect, when I think about everything that I have experienced in the past three decades, without Lifesavers I would not be the 'Marissa', that I am today.  Although, I am sad for the Lifesavers who were not meant to be around for a lifetime, I have found that no matter how long my Lifesavers are here each one of them has helped me to survive and grow.  And for that I am truly and eternally grateful.
     To every family member, best friend, friend (or what have you) I want to say thank you.  Thank you for the late night conversations, hugs and support; thank you for your kindness, tears and protection; thank you for  your honesty, laughter, and hand holding; thank you for your encouragement, acceptance, thoughtfulness and sacrifices.  Thank you for being there when I needed you.  Thank you for not letting me walk this life alone; thank you for loving me through the hurt, pain, trials, anger and negativity.  Thank you for inspiring and helping me to heal and grow.  Thank you for being who you are, for in doing so you helped me to become who I am.
     I believe everything happens for a reason, that people are in our lives for a reason.  And sometimes we forget to say 'thank you', but life is too short to forget something so necessary and simple.  I wanted to take time to say, 'thank you' to all of my Lifesavers; my kindred spirits; my soul mates; my loves; my friends; my family for you are the people who make up my world and without you I would be a lone island in the midst of the raging sea of life.
     I hope you all take time to tell your Lifesavers thank you and to remember how people have blessed your life.  Until another time I wish you all Love and happiness of the truest kind.
     ~Marissa
         

Passion

     Passion--Beautiful--Seductive--Addictive--Enthralling--Passion.  I have come to know Passion as not just a product of lust or Love, but an entity that can exist quite naturally (and unexpectedly) between two individuals that connect on a level that is more emotional--spiritual--than physical.  And as the connection differs so does the level and kind of Passion that is born from it.  There is the Passion that is sweet, spicy and swift--born from lust and half hearted promises.  Or even the Soft passion which is like a brook or stream.  Cool, smooth, slow, and deliberate.  It can swell to overflow its banks and carves its existence into the earth, patiently--leaving its mark. 
     Then there are the more substantial and devastating Passions.  Like the Passion that Burns with a white hot blaze--everlasting--eternal--inescapable.  It is a passion that consumes reason and is fueled by longing.  It never fades, nor can it die, but eternally burns as bright as the northern star.  There is also the passion that Drowns with warm, enveloping waves--constantly churning--pulling.  It is equivalent to a "beautiful death", enveloping--languid--decadent to a degree.  Yet, one should not count out the passion that is Molten--hot--slow--yet devastating.  It flows deep within the surface, but when it breaks free, it decimates all in its path.  And these passions are just scratching the surface of the different kinds that exist! 
     How much do we underestimate--not comprehend--abuse (romantic) passion?  We refrain; try to control or manipulate it; sometimes deny and run from it as well; but when it catches us in its clutches we truly see how powerless we are in its wake.  Never disregard or underestimate passion.  I encourage everyone to throw themselves into it, even if it is only once.  Let it wash over you, consume and fill you.  Let it entrance, entice and enthrall you.  Let it exist as it is meant to--feel the pureness and greatness of it.  Even if it is only once--do it.  Throw caution to the wind and flow with it.  I guarantee that what you will experience will be more than worth it.
     Think on it--until another time I wish you love and happiness of the truest kind!
          ~Marissa      

Love and Their Breaks

         In my thirty years I have discovered, through trials and tribulations, just how much Love varies.  And as spring fever gives way to summer love, many of the conversations that have been had lately are not only about relationships, but about Love.  Some times I forget that not everyone has had both the curse and the privilege to know the heartbreak of a first Love or how there are many ways and places within us to Love.  I think that many of us either don't know, forget, fear or underestimate Love so much that we never truly get to know or experience it--in its glorious and varying magnitude.
     I learned that I Love not just from my heart, but my soul and very being as well.  Because of this I have earned the misfortune as well as the fortune of experiencing "breaks (as in heart)" and Love in many varying degrees. Of course (as this is my humble opinion in regards to my own experiences) the kind of "break" depends upon the kind of Love it originated from.  (Let's see if I can give you a better explanation--:)  I have had an unrequited Love;  And also a first Love;  I have grown with a young Love; suffered (and learned) from (an unfortunately) devastating Love and tried to fight an uncontrollable Love.  These are my five great Loves (not that I haven't loved other men, but these I have been in love with and they have been an influence within my life and understanding).
     My first Love as well as my young Love--I loved them from my heart.  Different places within my heart, but when way led unto way that is what broke--a part of my heart.   Whereas my unrequited and devastating Loves--those Loves--were experienced with my soul.    After our seasons were finished and when life lead us down different paths it wasn't a part of my heart that broke--no--they each took a part of my soul with them.  (Hence the saying, "Be careful who you love", although if it were possible there would never be a broken heart.)
     Now, my uncontrollable Love--this love was a first for me--It was terrifying, unexpected, consuming and--uncontrollable.  I never knew I could love someone with the entirety of my being (as dramatic as it sounds--I feel what and how I feel--but don't we all).  This love was one that defied explanation for truly there are no words to help any one understand who has never experienced its ilk before.  When it ended the first time (well details are a luxury I shall not afford you) I swore never again.  I wasn't strong enough to withstand it again (this "break" was equivalent to having pieces of my soul taken), yet I obviously couldn't deny it for the rest of my life (we are going to see how this round plays out).
       It isn't as though I planned on how and from where I would love them, it kind of happened (along with the "breaks").  (Can we ever plan on how or who we love, truly?)  And knowing that when we Love another we take a chance with our hearts--souls--very beings--is Love, at the end of the day, not worth the gamble?  Again and again, throughout the years I have gone through "breaks" because for me, Love will ALWAYS be worth the risk.  I am who I am because of my experiences and even though there was hurt, pain, loss and sadness there was also joy, passion, growth, happiness and laughter too.  Life is a balance and Love is a part of that balance (maybe the biggest part).  I will never let the pain or mistakes of my past allow me to miss out on the potentials and possibilities of Love.  I will always choose Love.  And if I lose I will not be a sore (or bitter) loser for then I would be cheating myself.  Instead (as I have learned to do) I will take some time and re-invest in myself--gather my chips--and get back to the tables when I am ready.
     At the end of the day this is my choice--what will be yours?  Will you settle for a life hiding, running, shunning or ignoring the greatest gift, ability and experience given to us--or will you fall, fly, fight for it?  What is a life without Love?  And why let any fear of past or unknown stop you from such a treasure as Love?  Well, I think that this is enough food for thought for one night.  I am sorry for the length, but I had a lot on my mind--and a lot to say.  Until another time I wish you all love and happiness of the truest kind.
     ~Marissa