You Got Her--Can You Keep Her?

     QUERY:  DO YOU KNOW HOW TO KEEP YOUR GIRL?

     Lately, this has been the question on a lot of women's lips.  From girlfriends to female family members, this discussion has been going on most of last week and this weekend.  And even though WE know what it takes for us to be kept it has become quite apparent that guys-- really just don't!  I mean most women really don't ask for much at all (please review the sneak peak cheat sheet blog posted previously for examples(your welcome))!  If you listen, pay attention and have the ability to empathize then you are quarter of the way there (hooray)!

Here are a few key points for you to remember (in no specific order):

     1.)  Sometimes she wants to just vent about her day/situation/experience and not have you fix her problems (if she wants your help she will let you know(or you can just ask)).
     2.)  She isn't "okay"  even when she says she is "okay" (and okay should never be an acceptable answer to how she feels)!
     3.)  She shouldn't be/feel alone (ever) because it is an honor to call her yours (and if you are going to be constantly M.I.A from her life then you might as well not be in her life at all).

     4.)  NO ONE should make her feel more special or treasured than you (self explanatory)
     5.)  Actions speak louder than words BUT it is even better when they are the exact same(=consistency)
     6.)  Be DEPENDABLE (without dependability there can be no trust)
     7.)  Be supportive (COMPLETELY supportive(especially when she does the same for you without needing to be asked or told)
     8.)  Don't promise change only to never do it (we understand change takes time, but we also know when you don't even start)  this is a fast way to lose your girl.
     9.)   LISTEN (why must we be broken records)!  If she is taking time to tell you then it is important especially when it has to do with you (and/or your relationship).  Don't shut down or you will shut her out and turn her off.
     10.)  See the BIG picture (we KNOW this is a hard one for you)!  Put yourself in her shoes, try and understand or see things not only from her perspective, but also the possible effects or affects of what is going on with her (and/or your relationship).
 
     OR you can just talk to her and ask her what she needs!  I mean seriously, how and why are you afraid to talk to your girl?  I mean what is she going to do, bite you (heck you may like it if she did)?  This list is just a few common "needs" that most women I know seem to have.  But every man should make time to get to know his woman because I guarantee, that she knows you.
  
     We don't expect you to be like us, pick up on things by just paying attention, but we do expect you to care enough that you take an interest in our happiness.  You shouldn't be the reason why we cry, worry, stress or hurt, but why we smile, laugh, blush and relax.  We shouldn't have to encourage you to care or take time or understand, you should want to do this all on your own (if you don't have these inclinations you are either an a*s OR she isn't right for you (or you for her)).  Don't complicate it or make it harder then it needs to be.
     Just a little something for my guys; for my ladies keep your heads up and your hopes high, if he is the right one he will get it.  And (for his sake) I hope it will be sooner rather then later.  Until another time I wish you all love and happiness of the truest kind!

~Marissa   

    

A Few of My Favorite Things

     So my body feels like mine again, so happy that I am feeling better,  it has been a rough couple of days.  Now that my convalescence is almost finished I wanted to add a couple more posts!
     Now that I am officially Flirty Thirty (definitely not dirty because:  A.  I don't think it is possible for me to be more dirty *insert sly smile* and B.  I feel as an adult woman and not a man that is a term that really doesn't apply to my thirtieth!)  I wanted to have some fun with a post and list a few of my favorite things (with the reasons why of course).  My name might not be Oprah, but I want to share my favorite things with you, with that being said *Drum Roll, Please* (in no specific order) here are some of my favorite things:
     1.)  Being a Woman--With our ability to love and give; fragile-strength; versatility and femininity I would never want to be a man (unlike some of my girlfriends, lol)!
     2.)  Books--If you KNOW me, you know this to be an undeniable truth.  It isn't just because I want to be a writer, but also because of the worlds you get to visit; the characters you get to fall in love with; what you get to learn--oh the reasons go on forever!
     3.)  Girlfriends--Most of my life I have had more guy friends than girlfriends.  I never did this on purpose, but I don't regret that it happened because my guy friends are awesome.  Never the less I really enjoy the girlfriends  I have, especially now.  I adore girls night out; shopping dates; book club; brunches and luncheons.  It really is a lot of fun, a new kind of fun that I may very well never get tired of!
     4.)  Flirting--I enjoy flirting (with a purpose of course).  It is fun to test my feminine wiles every now and again!  I love to flirt with the guy I am dating more than anyone else!  I love walking into the same place, but separately then trying to pick each other up like we have never met before.  (I am getting giddy just thinking about it *insert girlish giggles*!)
     5.)  Getting Dolled Up--I adore getting dressed up on special occasions!  The clothes, shoes, make up, hair, all of it, God I love it!  I used to love going to black tie events and business brunches where I got to look as pretty as a picture!  I would love to go to one of the Masquerades this NYE either here or in D.C. (preferably D.C.) with a beautiful mask, dress and all.  Honestly nothing makes me feel more feminine than taking time to pamper myself and go out to some awesome event.
     6.)  Emotions--"...You make me feel, so emotional..." and because I am a girl it is ok!  I can cry because I am happy, sad, mad, confused, hurt, well for any reason  and it is not only understandable, but socially acceptable too.  I am able to feel and express how I feel in whatever way is fitting and not have to worry or care what anyone says (within reason and without harm to others of course)!  This is one attribute that is absolutely priceless!
     7.)  Flaunt My Interests--I can have varied interests and they can be (and in reality they truly are) unusual and it is ok!  It is more than ok!  I have a small interests in gaming; a (huge) affection for anime; an interest in various sports; a passion for literature and movies; love of music and documentaries and so many other things!  All together both girls and guys think its cool that I can game or talk about old school DBZ; make a hole in one; understand the breakdown of a football play; but turn around and discuss Ovid's "Metamorphosis" or the brilliance of Da Vinci!  I can explore my interests and even if they are geeky, nerdy or unusual they help to make me a more well rounded woman (while I stay true to myself).  I can celebrate, share and explore my interests to my heart's content and it is considered a good thing!
     Needless to say I am truly grateful for all of the blessings I have in my life and for who I am too.  I hope this inspires you to count your blessings and remember some of your own favorite things.  Well y'all that's all I have to share for this post!  Until another time, I wish you all love and happiness of the truest kind!
     ~Marissa